I took an organic chemistry exam today and it fried my brain, so I apologize if this is less coherent than my usual writing. Thank god it's the weekend!
Set in Brotherhood, after episode 5.
For once, Al is glad that he doesn't need to sleep. Not that he would be able to right now, after what happened today, but he's glad that he's at least free from nightmares. He still can't get the image of his brother out of his head—arm shattered, desperate, begging for Scar to spare Al. And Al hadn't been able to do anything. He'd just sat there, unable to move, as Ed tried to bargain his own life for Al's. Al had wanted to scream, to tell his brother to stop, but the idea of losing his brother had made him speechless.
He looks over at Ed for the hundredth time, and reminds himself that his brother is not dead, that he's fine, that Mustang and his team had found them in time. Ed is sprawled out in the bed, snoring loudly. He looks even smaller than usual without his metal arm. The barracks are quiet this time of night, and although usually Al is grateful, because the silence allows Ed to rest, tonight he loathes the lack of sound. The unnerving quiet leaves him without any distractions, which is why he can't seem to forget that Ed almost died today.
Really, he should be used to this by now. Ed works for the military, after all, and none of the missions they've been sent on have been remotely easy. They've gotten into lots of difficult situations over the years Ed has been a state alchemist. But those missions were different, in that he and Ed always fought as a team, and that Ed had never given up in any of those battles. Maybe it's his brother's complete lack of fear when it comes to death that gives Al pause.
Ed has always been a bit reckless, but so long as they work together, it's never really an issue. But today, Ed had come so close to dying at the hands of that serial killer. What is Al supposed to do if his brother dies? It's unfathomable. Their journey cannot continue without both of them there to complete it. They need each other to keep going, and to keep each other sane.
Al knows Ed carries so much guilt in his heart. He tries to shoulder all the blame for the failed human transmutation, even though both of them are equally at fault for what happened. And Ed tries to assuage this guilt by throwing himself into dangerous situations, by consistently risking his life for others. But this desire for penance can only hurt them both. And Al is tired of seeing his brother suffer and being helpless to stop it.
One of these days, he's going to get through to Ed and remind his brother that he's not the only guilty one, that they bear this weight together. It won't be easy, though. For a smart person, Ed can be very stupid sometimes. Even for something this obvious, and it should be obvious by now to Ed that Al loves him and wants him to be happy. And he's tired of seeing Ed attempt to throw his life away when they're meant to reach the end of their journey together. Ed wants to return Al to his body, and Al is determined that Ed will get his arm and leg back. And then Ed can finally be happy and let go of his guilt, and they can move forwards with their lives. Until then, Al will just have to make sure that his brother stays alive to see it.
Please review!
This is my first time writing for this fandom, so please go easy on me.
