Title: Forgotten
Pairing: BJ/Hawkeye or Trapper/Hawkeye, I suppose…
Rating: Sergeant
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, and the only profit I make from writing this is my own increased happiness.
Note: For the mash-slash yahoo group-thing's 10-min. prompt "forgotten." Yes, the title's unoriginal, but I fried my brain getting this done in 9 minutes—a new personal record!
- Forgotten -
Have you forgotten so quickly? That seems impossible. But how else can I explain the total lack of change between you and I? There is no change, despite the life-changing, world-stopping events of last night.
Have you forgotten? I haven't. I never will.
Can I blame the alcohol? There was certainly enough gin involved to blur the average man's memories, but when it comes to sobriety and drunkenness, we're far from average. It takes more gin than what we had to completely wipe away all memories of a whole, stunning night.
Maybe you haven't forgotten. Maybe you remember it as clearly as I do, but you (unlike me) want to forget it. So you act like you don't remember—because if you can make yourself believe it, maybe it'll come true.
I wish you'd say something. Anything. I can't stand this…normalcy. Things have changed. We can't act like we always have before, because this utter lack of acknowledgement hurts much more than a straightforward rejection. How can you just lay there, in the place where last night I comforted you after you'd lost two kids in the space of a half-hour; where I'd wrapped my arms around you and held you while you cried, wiped away your tears and shed a few of my own; where you had brought our mouths together and pulled me down onto the bunk; where we'd lain together afterwards, until you'd fallen asleep and I'd crept back to my own bunk, satisfied and hopeful…
How can you smile at me, that perfectly platonic smile that makes my heart twist inside my chest?
How can you expect me to keep up the banter that's been a staple of our (chaste) relationship for as long as we've known each other?
How can you (how dare you!) ask me what's bothering me?
How could you forget?
How could you act like you don't remember?
How could you do this to me?
How could you?
