Unohana's Shower Therapy
~~~
"Kurosaki-kun!" Inoue bounced.
"Ichigo~!" Rangiku-san heaved.
"Ichigo!" Yoruichi-san wobbled.
All around, in fact, were chests that floundered in the frolic of beach play. It was hard – very hard! – not to notice, especially since the Shinigami Women's Association chose what must've been the skimpiest outfits they could find! What was not skimpy was luring in other ways, preying on fetish instead of eye-candy.
But Ichigo was a man of conviction! He would not be swayed to gander at these women in an unsavory way! Not when they had invited him to the beach – even though he hadn't cared to come in the first place… He'd preoccupy himself with sandcastle competitions, surf swimming, and smashing giant watermelon monsters.
BWSHH!
Renji certainly was having a lot of fun doing the latter. He laughed uproariously, smashing his Zabimaru through the stems of the last-standing creature, making it lose its balance. As Zabimaru retracted to land on his shoulder, he smirked and gloated how this game was simple for a Shinigami of his caliber; he made sure to berate Ichigo for being a slacker who forgot his Zanpakutou like an amateur. Ichigo countered the rebuttal, grumbling that a day at the beach should go well without Hollow interference. Renji laughed at the pathetic excuse, and wanted to berate him more, but something caught his eye.
"Abarai~" sang Rangiku, waving high and enthusiastically. "That was amazing~!" A woman of her kind, a simple wave could easily change into a hearty jostle that Renji's eyes could not ignore. The back-and-forth sway of her chest made his face match his hair and his concentration break.
He'd all but forgotten the watermelon dropping down on him until it was too late.
Ichigo was standing just out of range of the fall, but nonetheless was doused by the spray of watermelon juice. He grimaced at the mess covering him, and then realized Renji's plight. "Renji!" He looked at the crash site where bits of watermelon were collected. And in the middle, Renji twitched and babbled nonsensically. The sense had been knocked out of him. At once, he called for someone to help.
And who better to help with an injury than the top healer in all Soul Society?
The elegant Captain of the Fourth Squad walked up with Kotetsu Isane at her heels. Peering down at the lieutenant of the Sixth Squad, Unohana smiled and, with a small laugh, said, "My, it looks like Abarai-kun has been having too much fun."
"Well, are you going to help him?" Ichigo asked. With Ikkaku gone deep-sea fishing for sharks – finding it to be more of a challenge than watermelons, and safer than being on shore with his mischievous lieutenant – Renji was really the only one around on Ichigo's level of beach enjoyment; Chad and Uryuu – who he wouldn't hang around with anyway – were too devoted to their work to just leave.
"Isane, move Abarai-kun to the shade. He should stay out of the sun while he rests." Those were Unohana's only words on the subject, and Isane dutifully dragged Renji away with the help of her younger sister. Watching Renji – who was foaming at the mouth and bleeding from the ears from a probable concussion – Ichigo murmured if it was really best to just set him to the side and not perform any sort of treatment.
The men – save for the by-standing Ukitake, Sentarou and Byakuya – were all out of the picture, leaving only the eye-drawing women to prance around in the sun and surf. Now there was nothing – nothing! – to distract Ichigo from the jiggle and bobbing of the women. He stood in his place for a moment, awkwardly gestating as he watched Orihime frolic along the edge of the waves with Yachiru. His eyes turned in time to see Rangiku whine as some of her vanilla popsicle dripped onto her large bust. And from her, Ichigo's stare was just in time to see Yoruichi paw at Soifon's backside while whispering something inappropriate in the smaller woman's ear; this was assumed, because he could not hear, but whatever was said made Soifon's stern features alter to a flushed look of apprehension.
These women!
Renji and Ikkaku diluted the appeal of the beach! Now it was a place of paradise for Kon!
"It must be nice for you," said the serene voice next to him.
Ichigo turned and found that Unohana had not yet left his side. Blinking at her vague statement, he asked, "What do you mean?"
She turned her head to him, tilting to one side with that motherly smile that made his stomach suddenly flutter. "To be young," she said. "And to be surrounded by so many beautiful women. A healthy boy like you; it must be very pleasant to watch."
Ichigo flushed, looking like he took offense to the assumption that he enjoyed ogling the women. He certainly had an appropriate sense of them, knew that he enjoyed it in some perverse part of his mind, but had the will to look the other way! "I'm not like that," he stammered, folding his arms and turning his back to the women as if to prove his point and chivalry. His eyes were closed, and he spoke out of the corner of his mouth, "I only came because you asked me to."
There was a light laugh from the Captain. He peeked at her with a sidelong glance, wondering what was so funny. "My, when you say it like that," she said, touching the side of her lower face with her fingertips, "it sounds like you came here just for me."
At once, the aloof pose exploded to an overly-anxious one. Ichigo waved his hands in front of him, now facing Unohana directly while jabbering, "It's not like that! I just thought, maybe you needed my help or something!"
"And when you say that," Unohana retorted with the same smile, "you make me sound like a feeble old lady."
Her wit was so quick; Ichigo fumbled over his own tongue trying to come up with a way to amend what was just said. "No, no! I meant that…!" Under Unohana's unwavering-yet-kindly gaze, he felt all the more panicked until she placed the crook of her finger underneath her lower lip and giggled softly.
"You get so flustered, Kurosaki-san. It's nice to know, even at my age, I can get such a young man nervous."
Ichigo jabbered again, unable to come up with an appropriate response that would sway this older – but no less attractive – woman from the teasing insinuations she took from him. It was best, he finally thought, to somehow back away.
"Ichi~!"
Ichigo blinked suddenly when he heard the voice. Turning, he saw that Yachiru was waving over at him while Kurotsuchi Nemu was just finishing setting up a volleyball net. The pink-haired child giggled excitedly at him. "C'mon! It's time for volleyball!" Already, the girls were gathering in teams; unsurprisingly, Rangiku and Orihime were paired up and Nemu took her place at the side of a reluctant-looking Nanao.
"I…I'm the vice-president," she mumbled to herself. "I have to play."
It was the perfect opportunity to slip away from Unohana-san! Ichigo may not have been the best at volleyball, but if it meant getting out from under the haunting gaze, he'd take it! Something about her tranquil features always made his – and everyone else's – stomach clench, do flip-flops, or fill with butterflies.
Ichigo was currently afflicted with all three!
"Ah! Sorry, Unohana-san," he said in his best fake-cheery voice and smile. He pointed with his thumb. "They need me to play! See ya!" He was off before he would risk a second for Unohana to pull him back. She made no attempt to wind him back to her; she simply watched him with a glint in her eye.
"Ichi will be on Team Big-Boobies!" Yachiru cheered while pointing over to where Rangiku and Orihime stood. Even when they were in a lax stance, Ichigo felt it was wrong to look at them; Rangiku-san looked like the strings of her bikini were getting ready to burst, popping one thread at a time! And Inoue…! He'd never seen more of her body before!
To draw attention away from the first trickle of a nosebleed, he cleared his throat, looked away, and discretely wiped at his nose. He wanted to keep his eyes on the sand or sky as much as possible.
"Ichigo!" Rukia snapped from the other side of the net. She stood in a pompous manner: smirk on her face and arms crossed over her chest. "You'd better not think you can go easy on us! Do your best!"
Ichigo frowned and sighed, muttering a 'Yeah, Yeah' to her enthusiastic and challenging banter. The sooner this day was over, the sooner he'd actually get to relax.
Isane, on Unohana's 'gentle' command, joined Team Big-Boobies – a name which made the self-conscious lieutenant gauge her assets, assess them to her female teammates, and wonder if she had a right to be on a team so aptly named. She certainly was above Nanao's caliber, Rangiku hollered loud enough for the vice-president to hear, causing a loud exchange between team captains.
When the squabble ended, both teams were allowed a few minutes for strategy. And Ichigo immediately regretted joining the huddle. "I say we use our breasts to hit the ball," Rangiku said with a sly smile. She acted as though Ichigo wasn't even there, hefting up her heavy melons, displaying them like a secret weapon. "It'll distract Nanao!"
While Orihime was impressed with Rangiku's tact, Ichigo asked if she was serious, red in the face from the idea of her plan of attack. Surely, Rangiku did not plan to do such lewd things…
BMF~
BNN~
Both Orihime and Rangiku stuck to the plan, bouncing the ball up in the air with their supported breasts. And as planned, Nanao was outrageously distracted by this, spewing flustered lectures at what Rangiku was teaching the others. Despite Nemu's skill, even she could not save all the balls. Rangiku's plan had worked, giving them a strong lead over the Upperclass (as that was what Nanao named their team).
Though the 'boobie-bouncer' was an upset, there was drawback. Ichigo now found it dangerous to stand behind Rangiku and Orihime, but even hearing Rangiku cheer "That was a big bounce, Orihime!", it was a big enough distraction. It goaded Ichigo's limits of chivalry, prodding him with the temptation that one little peek backward would not be the end of the world.
Isane did a good save with her arms, but met with a rebuke from Rangiku. "No! With your chest! Your chest!" she shouted at Isane, demonstrating the process by squeezing hers together, making the silver-haired woman flush and refuse as politely as possible.
Ichigo, however, was not paying attention. The ball was in the air, coming down fast on their side despite Isane's save. He pivoted to whack the ball in the other direction, but collided with Rangiku. His swiping hand brushed upward, and on his fingertip, he carried Rangiku's top upward.
The huge hills spilled out as if grateful when her white bikini relinquished them. And as if the sight wasn't glorious enough, the dropping ball hit and bounced off of them, causing them to jiggle so much that Ichigo's eyes were magnetized to the sight!
"Oh~" Rangiku whined with the concern of dropping an ice cream cone. Leisurely, she put an arm over her broad, pink nipples – not nearly in time for Ichigo to have guiltily sketched them forever in his mind – and watched her top land in the sand seconds before that whacky ball bounced near it. She turned to Ichigo and leered. He was stunned, far too stunned to even manage an apology or excuse or even a stammer. "What a bad boy, Ichigo," she scolded with a pout. Intentional or not, her arm pushed against her chest and made her globes swell and further the lusciousness of her cleavage; it was all Ichigo could do to keep his eyes locked with hers. "I didn't think you'd go so far for a peek."
"I-I didn't," he said, panicked. He didn't want to cause more of a fuss than he already had. He was already stressed enough; he didn't need the combined judgment and scorn of the Association coming down on him.
Nanao ignored Ichigo, instead putting the blame on Rangiku for no other reason than their natural eternal dispute. She shouldn't have been wearing such scandalous two piece, ignoring the fact that she herself was wearing a two piece with padding, no less! As it turned out, the only one scrutinizing him was Rukia, sneering at him like he had planned this all along.
He would not risk her rebuke. As the two team captains engaged and became the focus of attention, he took the opportunity to slink away. When he was far enough away, his subtle steps turned into a quick dash. The beach shower stalls were behind the shack; they were the perfect place to hide out, clean up, and leave!
He had thought that nobody would notice, but he was quite wrong. Serene eyes were trained on him when he made his escape, studying him; examining him. Underneath those doe eyes was a pleasant, unreadable smile.
Ichigo shuffled through the sands as quickly as he could. Even though he was satisfactorily far enough from the group, in the solitary grounds between the volleyball game and the shower stalls, he didn't want to call attention to the way his trunks tented awkwardly against the side of his right thigh.
How humiliating! Though the cause of this pitiful endeavor, he had to also be thankful that Rangiku's unveiling caused enough of a stir to rile up Nanao and make a scene. It was finally time for him to take a breather. With Ikkaku and Renji in play, he was distracted; with them gone or incapacitated, the influence of 'bouncy' women wasn't diluted. His trunks, in truth, had been uncomfortable for some time. It was not just because of his straining erection, but the undercarriage as well, pulsating with a roiling load eager to be ejected. He could suppress the urge, but heading to the sanctity of these far-away showers, he contemplated the shame of easing that tension.
A cold shower… He needed it. A very cold one… Maybe Rukia or Toushirou could lend a hand by sending a freezing attack his way! No doubt Rukia would be happy to oblige, after accusing him of violating the sanctity of the Association's vacation day.
"Kurosaki!"
Ichigo found a very-unwanted blockade. Uryuu was standing in front of him, lithe, yet unyielding, his Quincy bow brandished and loaded with an arrow. On his face was a scowl deeper than the usual one when addressing Ichigo.
Not at all who Ichigo wanted to see… Growling back at the Quincy, he blurted, "What the hell, Ishida?"
"Is it true? You disrobed Matsumoto-san?" Uryuu wasn't one to beat around the bush, especially when it came to accusing Ichigo of stupidity or wrongdoings. His scowl increased, lips curling from his gritting teeth and lines etching deeper in his face. "I thought that you wouldn't sink so low."
While initially startled and embarrassed by the accusation, Ichigo got over it quickly and returned to being angry. "Don't be stupid! Of course it wasn't on purpose…!"
"So you did!" The fact that the event really took place and that Ichigo was the cause was all the reason Uryuu needed to loose three arrows simultaneously. If he were in his Shinigami form, it would have been easy for Ichigo to sidestep the triple attack, but right now, he was vulnerable and the only defense he had was to duck out of the way.
Quicker than him or the arrows was a blur of purple, orange and brown. Two of the arrows were caught; the third was disengaged, but only after scraping Ichigo's left shoulder. The one who intercepted the two arrows turned with a feral, lopsided grin. "You're getting sloppy, Soifon!"
"My apologies, Yoruichi-sama." Soifon crushed Uryuu's arrow into dissipating particles, and though she had said sorry, the sharp glare to Ichigo informed him that it was not in his best interests to have Yoruichi looking out for him so much.
Yoruichi, ignoring Ichigo's surprise and reaction to his wounded shoulder, looked sternly at Uryuu. The Quincy lowered his weapon. "Ishida," she softly began to lecture, "it's supposed to be a party. Have fun! Don't be wound so tight!"
Uryuu respected Yoruichi, so he did not make the argument that he was there not to relax, but to run the shack restaurant. But being of gallant standing, he did protest that Ichigo's shameless acts – Ichigo cussed at him – should not be permitted. "Inoue-san and the others should not be subjected to Kurosaki's perversions."
Yoruichi looked at him for a moment, and then gave a long sigh. Ichigo's perversions? She glanced briefly at her once-student, remembering him solely as a prude who was fun to tease. Therefore, she would not back Uryuu's claims. Instead, she would indulge the pale teen in a different manner. "It's nothing to get worked up about," she said vaguely. As Uryuu quirked an eyebrow, both of Yoruichi's hands lifted to grab the bottom of her bikini top. At once, being the two who knew her well, Ichigo and Soifon went wide-eyed. There was no time to stop her from lifting her bikini up until the weight could not be supported and yielded the plump globes with an eye-captivating bounce. Uryuu sputtered, his glasses cracking from the impact of the visual, and a small spurt of a nosebleed came from the rush to his head. Ichigo took the sight like a punch to the face, falling backward into the sand. In the meantime, Soifon rushed to cover Yoruichi's indignity and preserve her from the undeserving eyes of these boys.
"Yoruichi-sama! Please!" Her face was red, expressing all the embarrassment that Yoruichi lacked.
"Ha-ha-ha-ha~! Soifon!" Yoruichi, slipping her breasts back into their comfortable holders, put a hand on her follower's head. Her smirk was mischievous as she ducked low to Soifon's face, whispering in a hot breath, "I've never seen you move so fast to make me cover them up before!"
Soifon flushed, shamed at Yoruichi's provocative statement. "Y-Yoruichi-sama!"
Throwing her head back, Yoruichi continued to laugh at the stir she caused on the beach with nothing more than a quick slip of her clothes. Uryuu was huddled over, wheezing and touching his heart to feel it race. It hadn't received such a shock since Orihime almost undressed in front of him! He would perhaps be in trauma for the rest of the week! But Ichigo, it seemed, was dealt a heavier blow. Yoruichi put her amusement on pause to look at him lying sprawled on the sand. The scrape on his shoulder was not deep or even serious, but all of this shock must've finally culminated in a comatose state.
Maybe it was best that a medic looked him over…
