A/N: Because who doesn't like to spice things up a little? Am I right? Come on. Inspired by Ayrith, morbidity, my cure on ice, Anaphalis, and countless other amazing authoresses, go read their stuff. They've got killer flow. It's floors me-gives me chills. Freaking stunning.
Disclaimer: Don't own. Never will.
I. Disgust
How could he do it? How could he do it?
The cold crashes against the wet on her cheeks and she feels herself folding. She thinks back to the days when she knew love wasn't enough and hates her self for beginning to believe it was. Look where that got you, Sango. Her father's ghost chides her for dissecting a truth she already understood.
Kagome looked as beautiful as ever standing there distraught and guilty, hand woven with Miroku's beneath his robes. The worst part about it was she could never, never hate her because she knew better in the first place.
II. Defiance
Inuyasha's back is solid and his stance is defiant as he gazes into the fire. Sango can't see his eyes but she knows their burning gold and hot just like the flames bathing him in desperate light.
"Give me some of that sake." He grumbles. At first she hesitates because she's never seen an intoxicated hanyou before. Let alone an intoxicated Inuyasha. That, and he's bitter and she's sure he'll do something rash. When some invisible force pulls out her hand and juts the bottle into his back, and he turns to look at her like she a ghost- she realizes she wants him to do something rash. How long has this Sango been here?
He throws back a large gulp and wipes his mouth with his sleeve. He spits and coughs, but then his testosterone kicks in and he chokes back another swallow, "This is bitter as fuck."
Sango comments on the bitter irony of that statement. And he doesn't fucking understand but he sits down beside her anyway.
III. Disturbed
The first night it happened she felt the fire and the ecstasy rip through her core- silver and hot.
Just what she needed. She thought if he moved away it would burn her alive, so she kept him close and smothered him with skin. His lips crushed against her mouth and his fangs split open her still chapped lips. He licked the blood away while a growl vibrated from deep with in his chest. She dug raw pink paths down his back. "Bite me harder." She gritted though teeth. Inuyasha abided and with every thrust he minted new welts on her neck and in her heart.
When her lust fought back and she bit down on his shoulder, he yelled her name and they both came together. She knew it was wrong, so wrong and so unnatural. Her hands came in contact with his heaving chest and he flew back several feet.
Their eyes met for a second before she scurried for her clothes and that damn bottle of sake. It burned down her throat, so she passed it to Inuyasha and realized his liquid stare was focused on her the whole time. As he caught his breath she shifted uncomfortably. His gaze disturbed her just like him calling her name disturbed her.
Partly because she loved it. Partly because she prayed Kagome heard it.
IV. Devoted
The next night it happened he grated her with a tenderness that made her want to cry.
His kisses were soft and his fangs brushed her calloused skin, light like feathers. "No…" She breathed between heated gasps, "Like this…" Her fingers found a clawed hand and pushed the points into her hip and sucked and nibbled his jaw line. She could feel the fire burn as he let out that feral vibration she needed. Sango licked her lips in satisfaction and bucked her hips against him. It should never be tender, she decided long before the first time. It should be savage. It should leave marks. It should draw blood.
Because bloodlust leaves no room for love and then there's room for the fire to burn up what's left of her shame.
V. Denial
Kagome noticed the marks long before she said anything about it. The night was humid, which made it hard to breathe in the already thick, moist air over the hot springs. The younger girl's breasts resembled lilies floating on the water's surface. Her stormy gaze was slanted and her hair was slicked back, shining in the moon light. Sango tried not to wonder why they still even bathed together in the first place. Clinging onto dead, familiar things was much like love and love had always been better left a stranger.
"Do you really like that kind of stuff, Sango?" Kagome's tone was icy, but the look in her eyes said, 'I care. I'm worried. I'm sorry.'
She didn't have to tack Inuyasha's name on the end of the question. Sango knows it's there. Just like the night she asked Kagome where she had gone off to and 'with Miroku?' was tacked on the end of that question. It was silent, but Kagome heard it loud and clear.
She sees the betrayal in Kagome's eyes underneath the worry, and wants to scream at her. One Sango thinks of silver and wants to say, "He just might love me." One Sango thinks of gold and wants to say, "He still loves you." And both Sangos think of gray skies and pale grace and want to scream, "You should've loved me! I could have given you everything!"
But then all of Sango remembers the one thing she could never give Kagome and settles with a reply of "Sometimes, Kagome-chan."
VI. Despondence
The fire is dying now. Miroku and Kagome have departed into the Inn they were offered a room at for the night. Sango prods the fire with a stick while avoiding Inuyasha's gaze. She knows he hears them, though she can't and she knows the look in his eyes might gut her soul clean.
"It's a shame, you know… We're out of sake." Sango notes, breaking the silence, and staring into an empty porcelain jug. He responds by pushing her to the ground, clawing at her clothes and biting her . because it's the only way he can get her to moan which is enough to drown out Kagome's.
Sango gasps and pushes his head further down until his desperate mouth is on her breast , She fumbles around for his sensitive ears and twists beneath his arousal. It feels good, so good but not enough. So, it slips out:
"I loved her too, you know." She knows she just said it because the words are stinging behind her eye lids and spilling down her cheeks. Inuyasha stops and raises to meet her eyes. Red has faded back to gold mixed with shock, realization, lust, and something like sadness. But nothing like judgment.
It reminds her of love and her father's ghost is chiding her in her head again.
Then, he speaks, "What? How could you want…" and, "What are we if-"
She cuts him off with frantic, swollen lips and shushes him through her teeth.
VII. Dawn
Later, the crickets are still chirping and the houshi and the miko are actually sleeping. For some reason, Sango and Inuyasha are sitting side by side- for once their shoulders are actually touching.
Of course, as predictability would have it Inuyasha ruins the moment by putting his hand on her knee and patting it, not-so-awkwardly.
"I mean, it's kinda weird. I just never would have guessed. But I understand I think."His voice is calm and his palm is glued to her knee. Sango is actually listening. Intently, as he continues, "It must suck to never have a chance, though. She'll never want a woman. Sorry, Sango. I guess I can see why you were such a bitch all the time."
She rolls her eyes but doesn't move his hand because she knows Inuyasha is trying and failing at being kind, but trying, none the less. He detaches from the barren fire pit and looks at her- through her. "So, how does it work? Like, girls and guys or just girls, or what?'
Sango cocks her head at the question she never thought to ask herself, "I don't know." She breathes, "Just her."
He nods, "So, then what's with…" His voice trails off leaving the forbidden 'us' hanging in the air around them.
"Well, what is it to you?" When she says 'it' he knows she means 'we' and nods in some foreign understanding. His strong grip moves from her knee to wrap around her shoulders. She feels a light squeeze and her eyes widen. Is he being reassuring- maybe even supportive?
"It's a shame though, " He murmurs and she sees something devious flash in his feral orbs. She tenses. "It would have been kinda hot."
A beat passes before she decks him hard on the side of his head. Another beat passes and she finally cracks a smile. "Inuyasha…"
Plump lips and soft hands invade her vision. Gray parted eyes and the soft curvature of a thigh. She closes her eyes and relaxes her head against Inuyasha's chest- so broad and study and not Kagome. "You just don't even know.
He uses his free hand to not-so-awkwardly pat her knee again.
And while Inuyasha lets her dream of Kagome and holds her anyway she decided that love is not- never will be enough. But Inuyasha's understanding is enough and so much more.
(a/n):Twists for the win! Review please!
