Okay so i've had total writers block for my other story (twilight: those eyes) and I had this story lying around. Then i got the dvd for prince caspian for christmas and just had to finish this story. i have completely written it out and if i get enough reviews i'll update the rest. it will have a total of 5 chapters and an epilogue.

I hope you like this story, it's about Caspian and Susan and why Susan never wants to talk about Narnia any more after she gets back. I know it's been done before but i've never read any of the others, so hopefully mine won't be like others. please enjoy and please please please review!


Returning

Good night girls," I said to my classmates as I opened the door to my dorm room.

"But Susan, it's still early," one of the girls said trying to keep the welcome back to school party going a bit longer.

"It's been a very long day, I'll see you tomorrow," I said stepping through the door. I held my eyes closed as I closed the door, the loud sounds of my school friends talking over the summer instantly died away and was replaced with the peaceful sounds of waves crashing on the beach.

"Wait, what?" I said out loud as I quickly opened my eyes. It was day time again, the sun was shining brightly and I was on the beach. The beach of Narnia. "But how?" I wondered again. Only hours earlier, Aslan had said that Peter and I would never return to Narnia. We had left Narnia with Edmund and Lucy, after which the boys had gone to their boarding school and Lucy and I had gone to ours. And now, I was here again. My heart leaped at the thought. From the moment we had set our feet back on the platform, I had missed Narnia. And for some silly reason I couldn't get Caspian out of my head. I instantly remembered that time moved faster here in Narnia, and I wondered how much time had passed since we left.

I looked around, orientating myself. Everything seemed familiar but different. As I turned around my eyes caught sight of something I thought I would never see again, Cair Paravel. It too looked different, so much the same that I knew it my old home. I ran up the ancient stones that looked new. I was so overcome with joy at being back that I almost ran into the guards at the door. They had crossed their spears to stop me from running through; I must have been a very strange sight, in my school clothes and smiling like a moron.

"Pardon us, madam," one of the guards spoke. He was a faun like many guards of Narnia.

"No, pardon me, I was foolish to run up here without thinking," I said stepping back from the crossed spears. "Could you tell me, please, where am I?" I had to ask, I had to be sure.

"This here is Cair Paravel," the guard spoke again.

"Then I am relieved that my eyes did not deceive me," I said relieved. "But please tell me, too, who lives here now? For the last time I saw this place it was in ruins."

"Here lives King Caspian of Narnia," the same guard said, he was apparently of a higher rank. "Cair Paravel was restored when the Kings and Queens of old went back to their world."

"Caspian lives here?" I wondered out loud, he had restored our castle to live in it himself.

"That is King Caspian, madam," the guard corrected me.

"Yes, of course, pardon my mistake," I quickly recovered. "If you would please let me through, it is important that I speak to King Caspian."

"And who might I ask are you? For your majesty is a busy man and cannot stop working because some lady asks to see him."

I smiled, the guard had yet to recognise me for who I was, "Good sir, I am Queen Susan."

The guards faces showed instant shock as they realised their behaviour had not been fit for a queen. "Don't worry, it is quite alright that you did not recognise me, for it was long ago that I and my brothers and sister ruled these lands."

As the guard regained his composure, he remembered my request to talk to Caspian, "If you will please follow me gentle Queen, I will lead you to King Caspian."

I nodded and quickly followed after the guard. As we walked through the rebuild castle I could clearly see that it was new, but it had been build with such care that I felt instantly at home again. The guard let me to the throne room, where he left me to inform Caspian of my arrival. While I waited, I looked around the room; something was different here, though it took me awhile to figure out what. Instead of the four thrones that had been standing there so many years ago, there now stood five thrones. The new throne stood in the middle and a little forward compared to the others. The room was quiet and serene, I took my time as I walked up the few steps that led to the thrones and took a seat in the one that had been mine so long ago. I felt rather strange sitting there in my school clothes; they were uncomfortable and made me look out of place.

All too soon the guard returned, without Caspian.

"Forgive me, good lady, but my king has informed me that you are not who you say you are, for Queen Susan the gentle was never to return to Narnia," the guard spoke without hesitation, trusting fully in the word from his king.

"Yes, I was never to return and yet I am here," I said softly. "However, loyal guard, I am who I say I am and therefore must request that you bring me before your king Caspian. For he might not believe my word, but he must believe his own eyes."

The guard nodded and once again retreated from the room. As I waited again, I left behind my seat and walked to the eastern doors, looking out over the sea. This time the guard returned even sooner.

"Ahum," he coughed, getting my attention. "If you will please follow me, good lady."

I did as he asked and followed him to a smaller side room. The room was filled with several more guards and counsellors, all surrounding Caspian. Caspian was staring out the window, he almost looked happy to have an intruder in this meeting, I remembered the meetings that we had with our counsellors in times of peace, and they were very boring.

"Your majesty King Caspian, I bring before you the lady who claims the name of Queen Susan," the guard said as he stepped aside to let me pass. Caspian remained staring out the window, all the counsellors and other guards had gone quiet and looked nervous.

I waited, but not long, for Caspian to turn around on his own, when he didn't, I spoke.

"Caspian, it is rude not to greet an old friend."

Instantly his head shot up straight and he quickly turned around, he must have recognised my voice. He looked at me in wonder; I looked back at him before I let my eyes glance over the counsellors and guards, reminding Caspian that they were there.

"Leave us," he spoke softly. I stepped forward, making room for them to leave the room. When finally the last one of the guards closed the door behind him, Caspian spoke again. "How? How did you get here, you said that you and Peter would never again."

"I know what we said and I don't know how I got here," I responded. "One moment I was in my dorm, going into my room, the next moment I was here on the beach."

It was only now that I had spoken of my world, when Caspian noticed my attire. His eyes got stuck at my bare legs, something not very common for women in this world.

"Caspian," I said, breaking his trance. "They are only legs, Caspian."

"Sorry, I'm not used to you looking like this," he apologized. "You really have no idea why you are here?"

"I really have no idea," I said, while Caspian kept looking me up and down. "Caspian, you wouldn't perhaps have a dress lying around?"

"Actually," he said smiling. "You will find your old rooms ready for your return."

This I had not expected. "Come on," he said as he suddenly took my hand and dragged me from the room.

We ran through the halls of Cair Paravel, up the grand stairs to the southern end of the castle. Caspian stopped at the doors that would lead into my quarters, he opened them slowly.

"Welcome home, gentle Queen of Narnia," he said, stepping aside so I could enter the room. I didn't know how he had done it, but the room was almost exactly the same as it had been.

"This is amazing Caspian," I said overjoyed at being back.

"Thank you," he answered, still standing by the door. "I shall give you some privacy."

With those few words he left the room, closing the doors behind him. I opened up the wardrobe, which was filled with gowns and other clothes. I quickly changed my clothes and was about to go back to the throne room when my eyes rested on the big bed in the middle of the room. I remembered, clearly now, how much more comfortable beds were here in Narnia then back home.

"Good Queen, you must wake for the king requests your presence at his table," a soft voice woke me from my sleep. I lazily opened my eyes and found a little squirrel looking at me. "Good you are waking," she said. When I looked around myself I noticed two more squirrels in the room.

"Tell me, good lady, how long did I sleep?" I asked the squirrel who had awoken me.

"At least five hours, my Queen," she answered humbly. "It is dinnertime now and King Caspian request you dine with him."

"Than so I shall," I said as I got up from the very comfortable bed. The squirrels, who had been appointed by Caspian to be my ladies-in-waiting, helped me prepare myself for dinner, as sleep had removed the knots from my hair.

A good half hour later I entered the grand dining room, the room was spacious however it was never empty. The long table in the centre of the room was, like always, surrounded by many creatures both Narnian and foreign.

The moment he saw me, Caspian stood rose from his seat, followed by every other being in the room. I made my way to Caspian and curtsied, he responded with a bow of his own. Someone pulled out the chair at Caspian's right side and he motioned for me to sit there.

Dinner lasted for over an hour, as many of my old friends had heard the news of my return. I casually chatted with each of them. After some time I silently retreated to the balcony and watched as the moon rose above the sea and the stars shone with all their might. It wasn't long till Caspian joined me on the balcony, however he remained silent. We hadn't spoken much during dinner and it seemed we both did not know what to say.

"Susan," Caspian started after awhile, "you kissed me."

I had known that he would bring that up, and it hadn't escaped my mind either. "I know," is all I said.

"Susan?" Caspian nudged me to continue

"I though I was leaving forever, never to come back," I said.

"What does that mean?" Caspian asked.

"It means that I don't know what that kiss means, I need time to think about it," I said, not at all knowing what to say anymore.

"It's been a year Susan, what's there to think about?"

"It may have been a year for you, Caspian, but for me it was only hours ago." During this entire conversation I didn't look at Caspian once.

"Only hours?" Caspian asked, he sounded shocked. "But how?"

"Time moves slower in my world, a lot slower," I answered.

"Right, I'll leave you with your thoughts then," Caspian said and started to walk away.

"Caspian wait," I said as I finally turned to face him. "We should find out why I am here. None of us has ever come here without a reason, the two previous times it was because Narnia was in trouble."

"I am sorry Susan, but I would have no idea why you have been send here again. As far as I know Narnia is still as peaceful as it was when you left," Caspian said.

"We should try and find Aslan, he will know what is going on. Have you seen him since we left?"

"He stayed for awhile after you left, he helped rebuilt Cair Paravel. But after that, no one has seen or heard of him," Caspian said.

"Then we shall have to search for him, for he will appear when he is needed," I answered, remembering how Lucy had found him last time.

"I will start on the preparations," Caspian said before he left me on the balcony.

That night I slept only a few hours, I kept remembering Caspian's words. Clearly, he, too, remembered the kiss as if it was yesterday, though it had been a year ago for him. And he wanted to know what it meant to me. Ever since that kiss, I hadn't been able to think about anything else and now I was supposed to know what it meant. I didn't have a clue. Some logic zipped into my thoughts. When one is about to leave forever, one often does the one thing that they want to do most, whether it is reasonable to do so or not. Was that true, was kissing Caspian the one thing I wanted to do most before I left Narnia forever? But then, why? Was it because I wanted to kiss Caspian, or because I wanted my first kiss to be in Narnia, or for some other not yet thought of reason, or was there no reason at all?

"Perhaps madam should stop thinking about the kiss and start thinking about the man," the soft voice startled me out of my pacing.

"Excuse me?" I snapped, before I realised it.

"Pardon me, good queen, it was not my place to speak," the sweet squirrel spoke again.

"No, pardon me, good lady, if you have any wisdom on the subject than please speak for I seem to have lost all my wisdom completely," I said as I sat down near the foot of the bed, where the squirrel was currently sitting. She seemed unsure, whether or not to speak, but with my inquisitive eyes I easily persuaded her to speak her mind.

"Like I said, gentle queen, perhaps you are focussing on the wrong subject. For a kiss consists of three things, the kiss itself, the kisser and the kissed," she explained. "Perhaps you have been focussing too much on the kiss itself and your feelings about it that you have forgotten to think about your feelings for our King."

Her words made perfect sense and I felt silly for not considering Caspian in this equation.

"Thank you for you wise words, good lady," I said as I though over her words. "It is not that I know how I feel about King Caspian, but it is wise that I should think of that. For so far I had not, and this is certainly something I will think about."

"Now, will you help me prepare, good lady, for I am to ride out soon," I asked her.

"Where will you ride to, if I might ask?" she asked as she fetched a riding dress out of the closet.

"I do not know yet, but riding helps to clear my mind and I need my mind clear so I can put it to use," I answered her. Riding had always helped me clear my mind during our rule over Narnia and I hoped that it would do so still.

"Shall you eat first, madam?"

"I shall not," I answered. I planned on bringing my bow and arrows and aim it at some fruit trees for breakfast.

I rode out that morning and didn't return until the sun was ready to set behind the mountains in the west. I spend the day practising my archery and staring out over the ocean. When I returned, I saw that Caspian and a few others were preparing to depart.

"You are leaving?" I asked Caspian as I rode up to him.

He darted around at the sound of my voice, his face looked worried but it was quickly filled with relieve. "Not anymore, we are not," he said. "You should have told someone where you were going or at least have taken someone with you."

"You were worried that I could not find my way back to Cair Paravel?" I asked him, he nodded. "Caspian, I have ruled over these lands for many years and know them very well."

"It has been over 1300 years since you ruled here, Susan. The landscape has changed during that time," he said.

"The trees remember that time though, they remember our rule and that we were good to them. Now that they are dancing again, they will never let me get lost," I told him. "Are you not yet used to Narnia being alive in every possible way, or did you forget?"

He looked at me, unsure whether or not to give up on this argument. He did, and he took his loss better than either Peter or Edmund ever had.

While we were talking, the other men that had gathered to ride out with Caspian had left our side, and we were once again alone.

"So what did you do all day?" Caspian asked to avoid an uncomfortable silence from coming between us.

"You asked me to think, so that is what I did," he smiled at my response. "I am not saying that I am done thinking or that I know what it meant." His smile faltered a little. "Please, remember Caspian, it has only been two days for me while you have had a year to think about your feelings." He nodded.

The awkward silence that Caspian had tried to prevent earlier came between us now. We spend it trying not to look at each other.

"I should change out of my riding clothes," I said eventually, breaking the silence only to quickly remove myself from the situation.


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