A/N: Unbeta'd (again) and written quickly (again). But I liked this idea, and it was always going to be Tony that kick-started the drunken antics.

Enjoy!


Did you know if you signed Bruce Banner up to a dating site, he turns this beautiful shade of red?

Really it's quite something to behold.

It's the thought child of a very drunk Tony Stark and Natasha Romanov. The pair are fiendish, so their drinking together time has been cut down to once every three months because there's always something that occurs from it.

Like the time Hawkeye found himself cuddling a stray dog in bed. It took Pepper's fumigators weeks to get rid of all the fleas because the dog then ran wild through Stark Tower after Hawkeye screeched. Hawkeye now had a slight itching twitch and a new found aversion to dogs, something that Natasha tested regularly.

Well that was until he put a cockroach in her coffee every morning. They called it quits after she screamed and threw the rubber bug at his smug and smiling face.

Or the time every single pair of Cap's boots were filled with jelly because Stark decided the Capsicle could use a little bit of lightening up. Naturally, hungover Stark had said his reasoning that Cap needed comfier boots and jelly was clearly the answer to that.

Pepper had been forced to buy poor Steve twenty pairs of new boots because the gelatine would not scrub out.

Then there was a time when they attached magnets to enough blutac on walls along the floors and suddenly Bucky's metal arm is full of fun magnets from different American gift stores. However they did get their comeuppance from that one; Bucky, with his highly magnetised arm walked into Stark's control room and shorted out half the computer technology with his new super magnet.

You'd have thought that would have put them off. No not really.

They painted the War Machine a beautiful shade of pink, covered it with glitter and armed the rocket bombs with daisies. Rhodes had been furious, but took Tony's latest suit as recompense, which had caused the childish inventor to pout for three whole weeks. That was until he built himself a new one.

Even Thor wasn't safe. They shrank his clothes in the washing machine when he was splattered with mysterious green goo upon his arrival to Stark Tower with Jane and Darcy. Somehow, the goo had missed Jane and Darcy entirely but the Asgardian was completely covered, forcing him to wrap in a bathrobe of all things while his clothes were washed. When he pulled out the now child sized clothes Darcy had nearly wet herself from laughing so hard. Even Jane had to hide a snigger at her beau's adorably confused expression.

But the crème de la crème of drunken antics was signing Bruce up to a cougar website, along with a sugar daddy site. Suddenly his email was inundated with young girls and older women wanting to get to know him a little better. Tony had never laughed so much as the dorky scientist looked scandalised at the pictures some of the women attached. He'd gone the most gorgeous shade of crimson.

Pepper programmed JARVIS to inform her whenever Tony or Natasha had alcohol within Stark Tower and eerily, the next time they tried to get drunk Hawkeye was drinking with them, or so was Cap, who's intolerance to alcohol allowed him to stay sober whilst even Natasha ended up sleeping on the floor. Tony was fairly sure Pepper was involved in the latest ploy to stop their antics but his alcohol infused brain had yet to work out how; instead all he could think was how comfortable the floor was, how Cap needed to stop wearing cream chinos and how amazing Pepper Potts was a person.