I watched you walk passed.Again. I looked at the floor then heard my name being called out like a constant heart beat.I sighed as another long day was passing by. Not again.I waved and smiled walking over to her locker turning off my headphones that were trying to tune out the world.
She started talking again and I jsut smiled and nodded before turning my headphones back on again feeling the sick feling in my cut again. I wanted to cry so badly but, Around my friends it would mean I weak.
I sighed,heavily.I held one of my arms silently so no one would see.It was stinging painfully and I didn't want it anymore.My mind travelled back to my socials room where i dug my pencil into my arm not preaking the skin, but scatching it roughly t leave after mark.I also remembered yesterday in Science class, Waiting to see you, sitting infront of me but,It would never happen cause I dug the same pencil into my arm again.I jsut followed the already lines made in Socials.
In both classes I could feel my face heating up, signafying I was ready to cry.I came so close to tears that day and in Socials I wanted to cry but,Everyone would look at me.
After allt eh years of hidding emotion you pulled it out and I want it stuck back in cause this feeling it makes my legs weak.My stomach turn painfully.My heart speed up and hurt. My head spin on teh brink of maddness but , most of all, Makes my emotions flare in happiness but mostly saddness since I know you will never want me that way.
Everyone loves you more than the people that love me could ever do.
I keep seeing you and now,Even more than before I need to hurt myself but,I don't want to compite suicide but I want to compite suicide.Either way. I jsut want a shallow hole to sit in and cry where you could see my pain but you know, I don't want to do that to you since you havea good life.Better than most people I know.
Getting home is even harder cause I want to drag my legs and wait for you to catch up but,I might just run away as the tears start to cascade down my face.
Oh,My dad's home and I can't stop thinking about you,even while he talks to me.
Oh, So many memories of me and you...Its only a few and most are emotionally hard to handle. I'm so sorry.I didn't mean it! NO NO PLEASE DON'T DO IT!
What do I mean by that?No don;t shut me out. No I don't want you as a friend.Please don't try to hurt me more. Don't try to help me cause I cry harder.Do talk to me and treat me respectfully. It will never happen.
I know i seem to put out all the bad sides out but hey, What can I say,If there is a good side, could you help me find it? Please? No more ignoring?
I'll honestly let you go even jsut to be friends.I'd do anything for you.I'd make the hole world turn against me JUST to be YOURE friend.
I wrote a song about you today.Would youlike to hear it? Good.
Its to the tune of 'Since You been Gone' By Kelly Clarkson but ,I hate that song..This is much better.
Heres teh beginning
Its really quite sad
At least it was but it wouldn't last
Yeah yeah,I didn't mean it.
You look so glade as you look at me
Was that what it was
Or are you playing with me?
Sorry honey,I guess you were wrong
I wish you could have been there
I'm sad when I think of you
Do you really try to ignore me?
Please come bback,Baby i'm sorry i'll give you up
Just don't hurt me back,So sorry now
Damn it man,why did you have to go
Just come back
Okay,Alright,you haven't gone
But the thoughts still lingers as I stop this love song
Whats wrong now?
I wish I could have been there
Trapt in your mind and thought
Not sure what you want now
Please come bback,Baby i'm sorry i'll give you up
Just don't hurt me back,So sorry now
Damn it man,why did you have to go
Just come back
What is wrong.You feel fine
I guess i'll go,you'll be jsut fine
comeon don't let me go!
over and over and over again
Please come bback,Baby i'm sorry i'll give you up
Just don't hurt me back,So sorry now
Damn it man,why did you have to go
Just come back
Just back
One thing left to say to you.Inuyasha...I'm in love with you and I always will, even if I get depressed and suicidal.I will love you and I don't even know why.
By.Cassandra B.
