Italics are thoughts.
This chapter is in Aria's point of view.
I own nothing. Everything written belongs to Sara Sheppard, and ABC family.
This is rated M for a reason. If you don't like smut, I would skip this story.
My future is in the next room, in a box.
On the bathroom counter, just waiting to be opened.
But, I just can't seem to get enough courage to face reality.
I never would have dreamed of this happening to me. If you went into my school, and asked who Aria Montgomery was, people would react with one of these responses, "The girl that left went to Iceland for a year. The one that used to talk to herself and carry around a sock puppet in middle school. One of Alison DiLaurenti's best friends."
I would bet money on being called the last one. On September 8th, a year and a week after Alison disappeared, her body was found. I went from the "missing girl's best friend" to the "dead girl's best friend." People were actually calling Alison by name again, and not just calling her the dead girl, or the missing girl. Alison deserved to be called her name, not a nickname about what happened to her.
I had my life planned out, and I knew what I wanted to be when I grew up. I had already gotten applications for colleges, and I couldn't wait to fill them out when I became a senior. I contemplated skipping senior year, and graduating early, to start my college journey. My father told me I was meant to be a writer, and I couldn't wait to head to NYU or Hollis- my dream schools… or my safe school Neumann University. There were only 2 people in my life that were interested in my writing, my father, and someone else.
My life was planned out, and I had a precise order I wanted to accomplish everything. I recited my life schedule in my head, as I often did when I was nervous, or trying to make a good decision.
Finish high school. Attend a university- hopefully either NYU or Hollis. Get my masters in English and writing arts, minor in teaching. Fall in love. Get married. Travel the world. Have 2 children. Work until retirement. And later on… die.
Dying was the first, and the last thing on my mind. I started thinking about it a lot after they found Alison's body. It proved that she was not missing… there was no hope that she was out there. The police had DNA evidence that Alison was dead. She was no longer missing, she was murdered. It didn't hit me until after the funeral that she was actually gone. She wasn't coming back. My best friend was gone forever… but I had gotten my ex-best friends back in such a weird way. Without them, I don't think I would have made it through this semester. I was home for less than a week, and Alison's body had been found… something I thought about, but kept in the back of my mind. As soon as I got back to Rosewood, I saw her picture on a missing poster in the local bar- Snookers.
As I thought of Snookers, I froze and felt my face blush, as I felt my heart beating faster than before. I had met him at Snookers, nearly two months ago.
And from that moment on, I knew that I was never going to be the same again.
I always knew how I wanted to live my life, with caution and no regrets. That is why I had planned my life out, so I could keep myself focused. I did not want to get involved with boys, for they would make my dreams disappear, and give me bad me bad memories to replace what I "could have done." While in Iceland, I focused on studying, getting my grade point average to 3.98- something that would look perfect on my college applications. When we first met, I bit my tongue, tempted to tell him about my grade point average. I figured if I had said something about school, I would say I was in my third year… not necessarily a lie. When he asked, that is what I said. He talked about how he just graduated college, and he was going to teach English, I didn't ask about the grade level because I thought I had nothing to worry about. We made our way to the bathroom, and we had the most memorable make out session, touching in every way possible. In 15 minutes, we stopped and went back to the bar. He drank another glass of scotch, and I nibbled on my cold cheeseburger, devouring the fries. He walked me to the door, and kissed me on the lips. I had already walked to my car, and was about to start my engine when he ran out with a piece of paper with his phone number scribbled on it. I smiled, kissed him again and couldn't wait to see him again.
I didn't expect to see him two days later, as my AP English teacher. Millions of thoughts went through my mind, and I gasped when he saw me, muttering "Holy Crap." I did the typical girl thing, and looked away, hoping that nobody would notice he was talking about me.
After class, I tried to talk to him, but he avoided me like the plague. The next day, I came into his class and showed him my letter, which showed I would like to remove myself from his class. He signed it, and I left… feeling my heart crack as he signed it without the tiniest hint of remorse. The next day in homeroom, I was greeted by a letter from the main office; I could not get out of Ezra's class… I was declined, there was a scheduling issue. I was going to be with Ezra Fitz every day… I couldn't get away from him. He is everywhere I look. But even if he was looking for me, I couldn't look back at him. He is my teacher… and I, his student.
It was hard, but Ezra and I spent our time apart. I confronted him, and he yelled back at me. We wanted to make this work, and we wanted to have a relationship. Whoever said age is only a number is lying… especially if the person with the age gap is your teacher. I couldn't avoid him, he was everywhere, just like A- I cannot believe I left my phone at his apartment that one time, and A texted him. After that, he didn't talk to me for a week. We talked after he came back from New York, and then he stopped talking to me again. I could not get away from him, like I said before- he's my everything. Our relationship went back and forth, we would fight and break-up, and then kiss and make-up. Ezra wanted to leave me after he saw me dancing with Sean, he said it was "good for me, I should be the one dancing and hanging out with guys my age." What he did not understand was I didn't like Sean "that way"; he is my best friend's boyfriend, the love of her life, and a guy I thought of as just a friend. When Ezra came back from New York, I was getting attention from Noel Kahn, someone who barely gave me the time of day when Ezra was around. I had had a thing for Noel since elementary school; I swore I loved him since 5th grade. Noel was not a push-over, he showed me he liked me by inviting me to things he thought I would like, for instance Philadelphia sports game. After he stopped showing off, we got to know each other better. We almost had a few moments, but Ezra ruined them- on purpose, of course.
When I was at Camp Mona, I got a text saying "I need to see you- Ezra." Even though I was dating one of the most popular guys in school- who was falling for me, I dropped everything to go see Ezra. He apologized, saying it was wrong that he lead me on, and told me what to do, and tried to control my feelings.
At first, I did not want to give in, but after he asked me to forgive him… I melted into his arms. In less than two minutes, we were both naked, feeling as if we would die if we did not touch. Ezra had undressed me, and I undressed him, feeling the desire more as each piece of clothing was taken off. As I got down to his boxers, I saw his thick, hard member. I went down and gave it a kiss, as Ezra groaned, begging me to put him completely into my mouth. I bobbed up and down, and began licking his tip. Ezra shuttered, and then began to finger me, slipping two fingers inside of me, and had one rubbing my clitoris in a circular motion. It felt so much better than what I do alone, and I didn't think I was going to be able to wait much longer… I needed him inside of me. Ezra prepared me as he entered me slowly; he knew that this was my first time. All my harsh feeling for him disappeared, and we showed each other how we felt without saying a word, as our bodies dancing and thrusting together in rhythm. It was perfect, in every way it should be. As Ezra pulled himself out of me, we kissed again. We were so caught up in the kiss that neither one of them noticed the tiny leak at the bottom of the condom. He tossed the condom out the window, and I started getting dressed. As much as I didn't want to, I knew that someone would notice I was gone. As I was putting back on my Camp Mona hoodie, my phone buzzed, it was Hanna. "I know who A is! Meet me at the parking lot." I kissed Ezra goodbye, and told him I would call him later. I planned on breaking up with Noel on Sunday, and being with Ezra. We would talk about the details later, and everything would fall into place.
I knew that he loved me, and that's all that mattered.
All the memories came back to me as I woke up from my nightmare. But what happened that night really did happen. On my way to the parking lot, I met up with the girls. As we saw Hanna, she ran over to us, and got hit by a dark colored car. She rolled off the windshield after she hit it and landed helplessly on the ground. We called 9-1-1 and waited for help to arrive, it was the longest 15 minutes of my life. After we got off the phone with the dispatcher, I got a text "she knew too much-A" Hanna was going to tell us who A was when she got to the parking lot, but A had other things in mind and hit her.
Hanna has been in the ER since the accident. When she first got admitted to the hospital, we were told that she was in a stress-induced coma, and they did not know how long it would take her to get out of it. We waited with Ms. Marin in the waiting room all through the night. At 9:25 AM, Hanna woke up, with no idea what had happened. She had a broken wrist, sprained elbow, a cracked rib and various bruises over her body. But she was awake, and that's all that mattered. We knew that she was going to get through it- Hanna was like a blonde version of wonder woman, after all.
Hanna is supposed to be leaving the hospital today, and has to start physical therapy four times a week, for an hour each time. I was supposed to be the gang when it was time to bring her back home, but I told them I was eating dinner with my mom, something that barely happened since my parents separated. Little do they know, my mom is out with her new boyfriend Xavier, they're going out to brunch at the country club that Spencer's boyfriend Alex works at.
How will Hanna take it when I tell her that I'm pregnant? What about Emily, or Spencer? They'll assume I'm pregnant by Noel Kahn, considering he's my ex-boyfriend. I wonder what they'll say if I tell them that I'm pregnant by Mr. Fitz, our AP English teacher. They'll think I'm joking, and then I'll begin to show. If I have a pregnant belly, they won't be able to deny it happening. Will I be able to tell them? Or will A?
Will A tell my parents? I would just die they told my parent's for me… it's something Mr. Fitz and I have to do when the time is right… which is, definitely not right now.
I start walking around in my room again, hoping that I could find something else to think about. Something else to do, and to waste my time on, even thought I know there's something I should be doing.
I need to take this pregnancy test.
My room is too silent of me to stay in it any longer. My mind begins to think of other thoughts again, I begin to sweat like a crowd of people is watching me. I feel the silence, all over my body. I now understand how it feels for the jury foreman before the verdict is read. The outcome of this test could change my life forever.
I have to face reality, and stop thinking of memories. The decisions of this outcome will, and always will be mine. Whatever the outcome is, I will have to live with it, for the rest of my life. Am I ready?
I drag myself to the bathroom to meet my fate. I pick up the small box, and I realize that the future is now, physically in my hands.
Maybe… the test will be negative? Then, nothing will change… sort-of. I promise I will be more careful next time. God, let this turn out negative! But… what if this test is positive?
I have always been taught that abortion is wrong. But, will I be able nine months of people staring at me, knowing what I have done? How will people treat Ezra, if they found out? Would getting an abortion make everything better? Then nobody would know that I made love to my AP English teacher, and that I was pregnant with his baby. The last thing I need right now is a baby, I can barely take care of myself.
Would I be emotionally stable enough to get an abortion?
This baby is my own flesh and blood. The little voice in my head changes my perspective again; making me feel like I was on a see-saw with all the decisions I would be awaking answers to.
"An unborn baby is still a person… what if your mother had aborted you?"
I put my hands on my stomach, trying to see if I felt anything that feels like it does not belong… like a baby. I start to day dream again, but of my baby this time. This baby will look like the perfect mix of me and Ezra. She will have my eyes, her daddy's smile, my little hands, and Ezra's ears. Everything is will be fine… until, the phone rings, and interrupts my thoughts. I look for the phone, trying to pick up before the goes to voicemail. I grab the phone and answer it as I put the box back on the counter.
"Hello?" I said.
"Aria?" The voice on the other end says, I know that voice anywhere. It's Ezra.
"It's me Ezra, is everything okay?" I ask, unsure why he is calling me. I am the one that usually initiates the phone call.
"I just wanted to know if you took the test yet and if you have the results." He asks.
"No, not yet." I answer quickly, I hate confrontation like this.
"Are you okay? Do you want me to come over and hold your hand as we wait for the results together?"
My stomach begins to get butterflies; that would be perfect. He would calm my nerves, and he could help me from procrastinating. I really should do this on my own though, I'm the one who may be carrying this baby, not him.
"I kinda want to do this myself Ezra." I answer, hoping I do not sound cold to him on the other end.
"Okay, but call me when you get the results. Like as soon as you do, I want to be here for you. This is my fault too" Ezra answers quickly, trying to change my mind, even though that's not going to happen.
"Sure, Ezra." I answer on instinct, anything to get him off the phone.
"I love you Aria, I love you more than anything in the world" Ezra tells me, sounding needy.
"Bye, Ezra." As I push the off button.
Ezra had just said he loved me… we had danced around the topic for the past two months, but I never thought he was going to say it. Instead of feeling perfect, it felt like he was needy. I understand that Ezra wanted to make me feel better, and he wanted to prove to me that he wasn't going anywhere. During our relationship, there was a lot up in the air.
Should we be together because it feels good, and we need each other? Or should we date other people because society says our age gap is too much and because he is my teacher, and I am his student? Do you think he would let me to raise this child as my own… without him? I could be a single mom, not all children need two parents. Just look at Hanna, her mom is a great role model…
Ezra loves me… but do I really love him? Do I love him a different way that I feel for my family?
What if I really am pregnant? I had only missed my period once, and I was never regular in the first place. I don't have any other symptoms of being pregnant… maybe I just missed my period because of stress?
Ezra didn't seem to think I missed my period because of stress, He told me that he may have put the condom on wrong, because of how nervous he was. I was the second person that he slept with, and he was my first. I remember hearing that people getting pregnant the first time they have sex is very rare… but anything is possible. I had seen episodes of "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TV and didn't want to turn out like one of those girls. If I was pregnant, I wanted to know.
If I am pregnant, Ezra offered to marry me and quit his teaching job at Rosewood Day. He said we could move to his hometown in Winesburg, Ohio and continue teaching. He told me that we could get married, and keep the baby… and we could live happily ever after. But then, I wouldn't be able to make my own decisions, it would decisions made by Ezra and Aria Fitz, not that it mattered but I would lose everything I had in Rosewood. My family would probably never speak to me again. Did I want to get married?
There was one more option: adoption. I could give this baby up to someone who wasn't able to have one of their own. One think that would drive me crazy is if my child called another lady mommy, it would break my heart.
Adoption…. Abortion… Single-Parenting… Marriage….
I started walking toward the bathroom to take this test, it was now or never.
Maybe the test will be negative? Would I have sex again? It was a great experience, everything was perfect. Ezra showed me how I liked to be touched, and how to keep the rhythm with each other. I should get on the pill before I have sex again.
I walk to the bathroom, with the test in hand and I hear the phone ring. It's Ezra. I decide to let it go to voicemail; he'll probably call back after he leaves a voicemail.
Adoption…. Abortion… Single-Parenting… Marriage….
The phone stops ringing and starts ringing again twenty seconds later. It's Ezra again, but he can wait. This test is important; it was show what is going to happen for the rest of our lives, it holds the key to our future together...
Before, my future was in a box in the other room.
Now the future is in my hands.
The test is positive.
Author's Note: What did you think of it? Please review it with your honest opinion of the story.
Do you think I should continue this story, or have it end as a one shot?
Please give me your insight, it's the one thing that keeps me writting.
Thank you! =)
