Title: Moon Mirror Reflections: a Songfic collection
Author: Winter Crucification
Disclaimer: I don't own The Legend of Dragoon, or Shana, or Dart, or Rose, or Lavitz, or Zieg. Or the song "If You Still Believe", though I wish I did, 'cause it's lovely. I don't really own anything. Shana's thoughts are all of my own imagination, though, and if you steal the fic, then you get hurt.
Inspiration: RottenMuse's fic "Transition", primarily, as well as the song "If You Still Believe" (obviously).
If You Still Believe
Shana POV
I had a dream that I could fly
Was it a dream, the wind rushing beneath my wings? It feels that way now, now that I'm the only one in my body again - but I remember, how I could fly neither as high or as far as you, but I was faster. Maybe there are things I am good at after all.
I can feel each moment as time goes by
I can hear the clock, sitting on the shelf - tick-tock, tick-tock. Counting down the minutes that I am without you. Strange how those happy days seemed to fly by, but now, my moments are like an eternity.
We'd never be too far away
Didn't you promise me, once, that we'd always be together? It wasn't long after that, when you left me, pursuing a monster. How long will you be gone this time? I don't like making do with just my memories for comfort.
You would always be here, I heard you say
Where are you now, I wonder? There isn't just one answer - sometimes I can feel you, deep within my heart, and sometimes I feel like I've lost you forever. Hard to say which one this is.
I never thought, thought that this would be our last goodbye (our last goodbye)
The man in red and white, he says he's come for me. I feel...I'm too weak to move. All along, I told myself that I could manage without you - looks like I was wrong. If you never see me again....
I still can dream, that one day love will fall out from the sky
Will you come rescue me again? Ah, but what a silly question. Of course you will. Even when we were small, you were always the valiant hero, come to save me - the princess. We grew up, and your childish fantasies came true. I wish that mine had been made real instead. Maybe then, I would still be with you.
Do you still remember, all the time that has gone by (do you believe)
It's been such a long time - do you really think that I am still the girl that you thought you knew? There has always been more to me than what I let you see, I have always been more than just your "little sister". It was such a long time - I had hoped that you would have changed a little.
Do you believe tha love can fall out from the sky (from the sky)
I've seen the way your eyes linger on her - a frozen flower, packed in ice. She just fell out of the sky one day, I wonder if she landed in your heart, as well. No, I'm not blind, not like you may think - I have eyes to see and ears to hear. I could never be like her, although I've so tried.
If from where you're standing, you can see the sky above
Clear blue skies, I don't remember what they look like anymore. It's been snowing all this time - snow and ice and dreary cold, all I can see and feel. What has been done to me..? My body is his to control, but at least my mind is still my own. Though whether or not that's a blessing, I cannot know. I did notice something, though...He looks like you.
I'll be waiting for you, if you still believe in love
I'm so used to waiting for you that other women would deem it silly, but that's all that I really know, anymore. I watch, I listen, and I wait for you, because, after all, what can I do on my own? Nothing. You...you made sure of that. But I don't blame you, I never have.
Find a way, to bring back yesterday, find a way for love
Maybe, if I could go back, I could be different - stronger and smarter, on the outside as well as in. Maybe I could push you far enough away that you wouldn't have taken all the strength that was supposed to have been mine. Maybe then I could win your heart. But, you know, I don't blame you.
I hope you stay, when tomorrow becomes today, love will find a way
The days, they blend together, as today becomes yesterday, and tomorrow becomes today. Still no sign of you, but my hope, it doesn't fade - I know what they would say, that love would help you find your way to me, but somehow, I think that you're so caught up in your role, Mr. Hero, that that will be what saves me - not "love".
I'll be waiting for you, in my heart you are the one
I'm still here, waiting for you. It is, after all, what I do best. I've never known anything else. I've always felt that someday, we would be wed, and love would bind us together - your pretty black flower changed that, though I have a feeling that my glimpse of a true knight-in-shining-armor had something to do with the way my heart no longer holds you as tightly as it once did - the adoring looks are really just habit, by now.
If I cannot find you, I will look up to the sun
The sun has always made me think of you - bright and shining, but firey, too, such passion that flows through your veins. I can see it today, even though the snow is brighter than sun, and the moon - there is still that pull there, that call to my soul, when I look at it - the moon is nearly lost in the sky. Kind of like the three of us, really, you and me and your ice queen.
If from where you're standing, you can see the sky above
Silly for anyone to think I was a light in the dark. I only glow because you shine so brightly - I reflect the light, but change it, in the process. That man told me the story of the Moon Child. Ha ha...A strange thought just occurred to me. Maybe I am the Moon Child. Makes sense, doesn't it? I can't look up anymore - he won't let me. Just as well, I suppose....
I'll be waiting for you, if you still believe in love
I wait because I can do nothing else. Despair has attached itself to me - how many days has it been? I can't remember how long I waited for you in Hellena, but now.. Doubt is clouding everything I once knew for sure...I feel like driftwood, stranded on a beach somewhere unfamiliar.
Do you still remember, all the time that has gone by
Whatever it that the man did to me - it's infecting my mind, now. I can still think (more curse than blessing) but my memories - they're all running together. I can't remember, and time ebbs and flows like a river, with me tossed about in its currents. It's too hard to try anymore.
Do you believe that love can fall out from the sky
Maybe if I had never known you, maybe then I would have been more like her - maybe if I was stronger, if I was smarter, if I colder, if I wiser, then maybe...maybe, If I had never known you, I would have been that love that fell out from the sky. The maybes - they are too many to count.
If from where you're standing, you can see the sky above (do you believe)
I can't see the sky anymore. I can't see much of anything, actually - everything is so very blurry. We're in a place my kidnapper calls Vellweb (he likes to hear the sound of his own voice, I can tell), below seven towers. He tossed me against a wall, and here I sit, slumped and only half-concious. My body is not mine to control, but I am merely glad that I cannot see the sky - it would hurt too much to see the sun. To be reminded of you. My hope is slipping from nerveless fingers...
I'll be waiting for you, if you still believe in love (la la la la la...)
He hums that song, that lullaby that you taught me when we were little. I wonder how he knows it. My heart is on the floor - Dart, where are you? I am fading, I am falling....My thoughts, the last ones before slipping into oblivion, are of a blond man - and I cannot tell which it is, you, my kidnapper, or my knight...
Author's Notes: *whistles* Yeah, Shanie's a bit OOC, and yeah, I slipped a little bit of Lavitz in there, but ah well. Angst, whee. First songfic evar. First Shana fic, too. The title is the title because I may write more songfics and I want one place to put them. I r smart.
Thanks much to Neo and Mum for not disowning me even though it's a fic involving Shana. Plus, I think you guys are plot bunny magnets. ^_~
