Title: The secrets we hide in the dark
Disclaimer: Characters belong to LJ Smith. This is a work of fandom, I am pretty sure this isn't what she had in mind when she wrote these characters
Spoilers: Secret Vampire
Rating: PG 13
Notes: Set after James reveals he is a vampire to Poppy and has fed off her the first time.
This is in need of being beta read please help
My sister has cancer and it's terminal my sister has cancer and it's terminal, my sister has
"I need to talk to you."
Phil's chaotic, jumbled thoughts came to an abrupt end as James Rasmussen grabbed his arm and yanked him further down the hallway.
"You've heard." It wasn't a question. Phil could only nod dumbly, there were no words only a deafening silence that Phil feared he would be hearing for the rest of his life.
James made a furtive gesture, making sure no one was in earshot, coming clean had been hard enough with Poppy, his best friend for much of his life, doing it with someone who made it clear that they didn't like him was harder, but if he wanted to save Poppy then he needed Phil on his side.
"I need to tell you something and you aren't going to like it, you're probably not even going to believe it but I need you to suspend your disbelief for twenty seconds."
"What the hell Rasmussen?" Phil managed to form a coherent sentence, he couldn't deal with James's weirdness right now.
"I need you to listen to me"The urgency forced Phil's mind back to the present.
"I'm not like you."
"That's not news." Phil said tersely. He didn't want to waste words with James Rasmussen when he should be thinking how to comfort his sister, how to ease her pain, and if he were honest, how to deal with his panic.
"No I mean I'm not like you. I'm not human"
Phil's hearing had obviously gone funny, maybe it was shock, but he couldn't have heard what he thought he did.
"I'm a vampire." James said into the silence when it was cleat Phil wasn't going to answer him. He forced himself into Phil's line of sight, making the human boy see him, to listen to him.
He let out a harsh breath when Phil just stared at him. He took one of the metal chairs and turned it upside down and twisted one of the legs. He knew it was something no human could do, Phil would have no choice but to believe him.
"What the hell is your problem?" Phil choked out. His face had turned ashen but his green eyes burned into James. "You think it's funny to do this when Poppy's in there, knowing she's going to die?"
James put the chair down, overwhelmed by Phil's anger, he wondered briefly at how well Phil was taking the news but perhaps it was simply the unthinkable had happened, compared to what Poppy was facing, what did it matter if James was a vampire.
"Connect the dots." James hissed. "I'm a vampire I am stronger, faster, I don't have diseases I can save Poppy's life."
"I don't believe you."
"What don't you believe that I'm a vampire or that I want to help Poppy?"
Phil's answer was belligerent silence. James let his face change, knowing that his canines were lengthening and that his eyes were turning an unnatural silver colour. Phil stared, he was transfixed. James knew he had made his point. He let his features soften back to human form. Phil scowled, not liking what he had seen but forced to accept it.
"Okay. Okay, so what? You change Poppy into a vampire and then what? She can't stay here, I mean people are gonna wonder how she survived a terminal disease" He still couldn't quite make himself say the C word.
"I can take her away, so she'll be safe, there are people like me, she'll be one of many."
"How many more?"
"More than you can imagine, we're completely integrated into your society and you don't even know it."
Phil swallowed hard. He should be screaming, yelling that James was crazy but he couldn't. He didn't have the strength, if Poppy could have this disease and die from it and they not even realize she was sick why couldn't James be a vampire? And what was the alternative? Against his will Phil imagined Poppy spread out in her coffin, her skin pale and lifeless and then he imagined trying to carry on without her, knowing she was dead and wishing he was too. Would it be better knowing she was alive, at least in some form?
"You told Poppy already?"
"Yes."
"And she agreed?"
"Yes."
"Then what do you need me for?"
"This isn't an easy process, Poppy's body is going to die."
Phil's body convulsed and he steadied himself against the wall.
"But she's going to get better, she'll die as a human and then she'll wake up. I don't want her to go through this alone."
"I just....I can't....It's too big, and I'm trying..."
James's face remained impassive but he felt the other boy's pain, it practically poured off him. Phil's legs gave way and he slid to the floor. James didn't offer a hand up, not yet, he knew Phil needed this, needed to get his focus. Finally Phil's shoulders squared and he looked firmer.
"I'm ready."
James bent down and grabbed Phil's wrist. They didn't like each other but it really wasn't about them, they would join together for Poppy, Phil just had to keep reminding himself that....his thought was cut off as James's strong hand wrapped around his wrist. An electric charge thrummed through him, as if he were sitting right next to Poppy's speakers as she blasted the Netherlands skippy dance at full volume. It reverberated through him, he could feel it settle on his chest painfully.
They were frozen, neither able to pull away, the thrum wrapped around them, pulling them close. A heartbeat turned into a roar and suddenly he knew it was James's heartbeat he was hearing, knew it as if James had told him himself. James seemed to be having trouble staying on his feet, he lurched forward crashing to the floor next to Phil, their foreheads were inches apart both breathed heavily through their noses, trying to gasp air. Inch by inch they were getting closer, dangerously close, a voice in Phil's head yelled but he couldn't care, but he couldn't move either.
With a growl, James yanked Phil's head against his own none to gently. Phil winced as his skull collided with James's but the pain was soon replaced with a wave of pressure so strong that it took his breath away. Something was tugging at him, tugging something inside of him now he and James were finally connecting skin to skin. Phil breathed in the spicy scent of James, somehow familiar despite the fact that both boys tried as hard as possible to keep out of each other's way, he shouldn't have a clue how James smelled, but he did, as well as he knew his own.
He could see images now, images of his childhood, images of Poppy and James together and somehow that hurt, a deep, bone deep hurt that made his whole body ache. He didn't want to see James and Poppy together, he turned away, feeling the tension leave him, and it gave him back his rationality. What the hell was he doing? He was in a public hospital corridor for Gods sake. He could feel the beat begin to fade, the driving force of the beat bringing them together had dimmed as if someone had pressed mute. His ears rang as he finally wrenched free. He took in large gulps of air as if he had been underwater, he felt as if he had been saved from drowning. He untangled himself from James, prising his reluctant fingers from James's wrist, he could see white fingerprints on his wrist from where James had held him. He didn't look to see if James had any on his arm. It didn't matter. Whatever the hell that was it was over, he looked away, embarrassed. He forced himself to focus on what was important.
Poppy.
They both loved Poppy, they had to save her.
The haze lifted from Phil, he knew what he had to do now. He risked a glance at James, who was looking expressionlessly at his arm.
"I want you to help Poppy. I need you to promise you'll take care of her."
"I always have."
Phil forced himself not to reel backwards, he knew James would say it, had expected it, heck the images in his mind were clear enough to anyone. James loved Poppy, whatever had happened between them had to be a fluke.
Phil made himself believe it.
An hour later James still hadn't left the hospital even though Poppy's family had gone home and Poppy herself was sleeping fitfully in her room.
He couldn't stop his mind from going back to the scene in the hallway. He knew what had happened, everyone knew the rumours about soulmates but James hadn't believed them, and he certainly wouldn't have believed it could happen between him and Poppy's brother, but it had and now he was trapped.
The experience was beyond his understanding and his experience. The things he felt went against everything he had believed, both of himself and his world.
Phil had seen inside of him, the most private places but he hadn't stuck around, he had barely scraped the surface, seen only James's outside emotions for Poppy. James told himself he was glad, Phil wouldn't try it again. He could focus on Poppy, on doing the unthinkable to her.
He made himself believe he could shut out what had happened. There was simply no other choice.
