"I'm going out." Roger said walking from his room to the door of the loft.

"Where are you going?" Mark asked looking up as him and his girlfriend Cheyanne sat on the couch reading the paper.

"Out." he mumbled as he opened the loft door.

"When will you be back?" she asked looking up at him.

"What are you writing a book? Later." he answered before leaving the loft.

"Fine. Bye." she said looking back down at her paper. As he stepped out and closed the door behind him, she looked up at Mark. "You know Mark, ever since Mimi broke up with him, Roger's been really pissy." she said looking up at him.

"Chi, don't. You know how he is." he said not looking up from the lifestyle section of the newspaper.

"I know, but does he always have to be in such a shitty mood all the time?" she asked looking up at him.

"He's got a lot on his mind. Just try to understand." he said looking down at her.

"Marky, he always has a lot on his mind. I swear, for someone who rarely leaves his room, he has a very complicated life." Cheyanne said looking up at him.

"Chi Baby, please. I wish you two would get along." he said looking over at her.

"OK Marky fine. I'll be a good girl." she smiled leaning over to kiss him.

"Thanks Baby." he smiled looking back down at his paper. As he turned the page, he noticed an ad for a film festival. As he read the ad, his mouth dropped. "Chi, was the paper already here when you woke up or did you go out and get it?" he asked not looking up from the paper.

"It was already here and separated, why?" she asked looking over at him.

"Did you see Roger reading any particular part of it?" he asked looking over at her.

"He was pretending to read the lifestyle section, why Mark? What's going on?" she asked sitting up.

"I think I know why he's in such a bad mood today." he said putting the paper down and getting up from the couch.

"Mark, what is it?" she asked looking up at him.

"I'll tell you later. Um... I gotta go. I'll be back later." he said leaning down to kiss her before going to the loft door.

"Mark, I don't understand." she said looking up at him.

"I'll be back later. I have to do something." he said opening the door and leaving. He rushed north towards Tribeca. There was a film festival playing that day and on the list of the names of the film makers was a familiar name. Mark knew Roger had seen it too and knew that was at the root of what was bothering him that particular day.


Roger sat in the back row in a small theatre in Tribeca. The film he had gone there to see had just ended and he was staring down at the front row. He saw a beautiful blond who looked familiar. He took a deep breath and got up from his seat. He started walking towards the front of the theatre to where the beautiful blond woman was. Just as he got down to the first few rows of seats, a hand grabbed the arm of his leather jacket. "Roger, what the hell are you doing?" he asked looking up at him.

"Mark, what are you doing here?" he asked quietly looking over at him.

"Hello, film maker. Did you not think I would notice the huge ad for the film festival in the paper and see her name?" he asked looking up at him.

"Mark, I need to see her. Me seeing her name in the paper was fate. I never look at those things, but my eyes were drawn to her name. I have to tell her about everything." he said looking over to her. She was talking to a group of people in the corner of the theater.

"Do you think that's such a good idea? I mean, what are you gonna tell her? That you dated her sister and you both contracted HIV from shooting heroin which resulted in her committing suicide? I really don't think this is the time or the place, do you?" Mark askead looking up at him.

"I guess not." he said quietly as he looked back over to her smiling. "She looks really great, doesn't she?" he asked looking at her.

"Yeah Roger. She really does. Come on. I'll buy you a beer." he smiled looking up at Roger before they left the theatre. As they left, Jules turned to see Mark and a taller blond gentleman leaving the theatre. His hair was shorter, but she knew it had to be Roger. She excused herself and started walking to the back of the theatre. By the time she reached outside, she couldn't find Mark or Roger.


"Thanks Mark. I wasn't thinking. All I saw was her name and I had to see her. After all this time, I had to." Roger said as they sat in the bar around the corner drinking beer.

"I know Roger. But it's been over 10 years since you left her in Scarsdale. What did you think you were gonna say to her?" he asked looking down at his beer.

"I'd like to... um, know the answer to that question myself." a small voice said looking up from behind Roger. As he turned around what he saw stunned him. It was Jules. Her blue eyes still knocked him out.

"Hey Jules. You look really good." Mark smiled walking around Roger, who was speechless to hug Jules.

"Hi Mark. I can't believe you look exactly the same as you did in high school." she smiled hugging him, but looking up at Roger.

"Not you. You look better. Wow, where were you?" he asked looking over at her.

"That's what I'd like to know." Roger said looking down at her breaking his silence.

"Roger." Mark said looking up at him disapprovingly.

"No Mark, it's OK. I'll play along. I ran to LA after you left me." she said looking up at him clearly angry.

"Jules, I'm sorry for that. I just needed time to think and... I never meant to hurt you." he started when she interrupted him.

"Roger, I lost our baby and you left me. I was really bad for a long time after that. April and I fought over how I treated you and I couldn't take it. I had to get out. I don't know where my sister is now. I haven't spoken to her in 10 years." she said looking up at him.

"Jules, I'm so sorry. You have no idea how sorry I am." he said looking down at her.

"What's the matter?" she asked as Mark sat on the bar stool uncomfortably.

"Um... there's something you need to know. Actually there are a lot of things you need to know." Roger said as Mark looked up at him.

"What is it Roger?" she asked looking up at him as he took her hand and led her outside.

"Jules, um... after you left, April kept calling Collins to check to see if you were here and he finally broke down and told him that I'd been here the whole time." he started when she looked up at him.

"You've been here the whole time? I called every week that summer worried about you and you've been here the whole time." she yelled looking up at him snatching her hand away from him.

"I know Jules. I'm sorry. I told him I didn't want you to know where I was. I couldn't face you. Not yet." he said looking down into her blue eyes. The same ones that knocked him on his ass years before.

"Not yet? Roger we had just lost our baby and you ran out on me. What do you think that did to me?" she yelled at him turning away from him.

"Jules, I know. I'm sorry. Listen, I need to tell you something and it's not easy, so just let me say it, OK?" he said as she nodded silently before folding her arms across her chest. "Um... when April graduated, she came here to live with us and... me and her sort of hooked up." he said looking down at her as tears rose to his eyes.

"You what? With my sister Roger? You can't be serious... Um I thought we were in love. I was pregnant with your child at one time and you hooked up with my sister?" she asked looking up at him as tears rolled down her face.

"Jules, I know. Look, I'm not proud of it, OK? We were in love... I mean, we are in love. Um... I'm sorry." he stuttered looking down at her.

"Are you still with her?" she asked looking up at him.

"No, um... Jules, I'm sorry. Um... she died." he said looking over at her.

"She what? Um... oh my God. How?" she asked looking up at him.

"She killed herself. She found out she was positive and couldn't take it." he said looking down at her.

"You're...?" she asked looking up at him.

"Yeah. I'm positive too." he said looking over at her.

"Oh my God, Roger...um..." she said looking up at him.

"Jules, I'm..." he started reaching out for her but she pulled away from him.

"Roger, how could April be gone? She was my little sister. It was my job to take care of her and I left her." she cried looking away from him.

"Baby, I know this is a lot to..." he started when she interrupted him.

"No. Don't you call me that. Um... I have to get out of here." she yelled before rushing off.

"Jules wait. Jules, I'm sorry. I know I screwed up." he called out running after her.

"Roger, I can't deal with this right now. I have to go." she said walking faster.

"Don't go, please. Let me explain." he begged running in front of her.

"Roger please. How could you let that happen." she yelled pushing him away from her as he looked down at his feet.

"I'm sorry, really. I don't know... things were really bad back then." he told her as she looked up at him with such pain and contempt with the same eyes she used to look at him lovingly.

"Roger, let me go right now." she yelled looking up at him.

"But Jules..." he said reaching down for her hand.

"Get away from me Roger." she yelled shoving him away from her again before running away from him.

"Jules I'm sorry. Please come back." he yelled standing in the middle of the sidewalk stunned. He watched the love of his life run away from him. He ran his fingers through his short blond hair frustrated.

"Roger, what happened? Where's Jules?" Mark asked coming out of the bar.

"I told her everything Mark and she hates me. The love of my life hates me." he said looking down at him starting to cry.

"She doesn't hate you. She just needs time to wrap herself around all of this." he asked looking up at him.

"No Mark, she hates me. I've never seen her like that. She ran away from me... Um, I have to go after her Mark." he cried looking down at him.

"Roger, I think you're the last person she wants to see right now. Let me go after her, OK? Let me make sure she's OK." he said looking up at her.

"She went that way Mark. Hurry. She was running pretty fast." he said wiping his eyes.

"Go home Roger. I'll see you there." he said looking up at him.

"But Mark..." he started before Mark looked up at him.

"Roger go home. I'll talk to Jules. I'll be there as soon as I can." he yelled running away from him. Roger turned and started towards the loft. When he got home, Cheyanne was sitting on the couch reading a book.

"Roger, where's Mark? He ran out of here in a hurry. He didn't tell me anything, he just ran out saying he needed to take care of something." she asked disguarding the book and standing up from the couch.

"He went after Jules. He said he would be home as soon as he could." he told her walking to his room in a trance.

"Jules? April's sister Jules? How did you..?" she started before he interrupted her.

"It's a long story. He said he would be home soon." he said going into his room.

"Roger, talk to me. What happened?" she asked getting impatient with him.

"Jules is my ex girlfriend from high school. She's the love of my life actually." he said plopping down on his bed.

"The girl in those pictures Mark has?" she asked looking down at him.

"Chi, I'm not proud of it, OK? It was a rough time for both of us. Neither one of us knew where Jules was and it just happened. It was stupid, I know." he said getting up from the bed.

"Where did you run into her?" she asked looking up at him.

"A film of hers is playing at a film festival in Tribeca. I went there to see her and Mark stopped me. She must have seen us leaving the theatre because she found us in a bar around the corner. We got to talking and I told her everything. She freaked out on me. She yelled at me and ran away. I don't know how this happened. I screwed up so back Chi. I don't know what to do." he cried as he leaned against the wall sliding down it.

"Roger, I'm so sorry. I know this can't be easy for you." she said going over to him.

"Forget about me. I'm worried about Jules. Chi, she's positive too." he said looking up at her.

"She told you that?" she asked looking over at him.

"No, it was in her film. It's a documentary. It's really good." he said wiping his eyes.

"I'm sorry Roger." she whispered kneeling down next to him.

"It's my fault. All of it. I left her after she lost our baby and now her sister is dead and we're both positive. Nice mess I made, huh?" he asked looking down at his knees.

"That must have been really hard for you two. I'm really sorry." she said looking over at him.

"Yeah, well leaving her was the biggest mistake of my life and now I'm an HIV positive junkie." he cried looking up at her.

"You're not a junkie Roger. You're clean and have been for a long time. You helped Mimi get clean and you're a good man. Don't refer to my friend as a junkie, OK?" she said looking down at him.

"But Chi, I screwed up. I didn't love April. The whole time I was with her, I was thinking about Jules. She was the love of my life. She always has been." he said looking up at her.

"Listen, OK? You made mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes. But you're here now and that's all that matters. It's not too late Roger. You can still make it up to her. And yourself." she said putting her hand on his shoulders.

"I don't think she'll ever forgive me Chi. I screwed up too bad." he said looking up at her.

"Tell me about her." she asked sitting on the floor next to him.

"She was so beautiful, you know? Looking at her was like looking at an angel. Her eyes... they knocked me on my ass from the second I looked into them." he smiled looking up at her.

"Do you still love her?" she asked looking over at him.

"Yeah, I so. We were together for almost 2 years before I..." he started before looking down again.

"What happened?" she asked looking over at him as she brought her knees to her chest.

"We got pregnant at the end of our senior year, but on prom night she had a miscarriage. I took her to the hospital, but it was too late. I didn't know what to do." he said looking over at her.

"If you loved her so much why did you leave?" she asked looking over at him.

"After her miscarriage, she was so depressed. Seeing her like that was... It seemed like she blamed me for what happened so I figured if I left, she wouldn't have to keep being reminded of what happened to our baby. I made a huge mistake. If I hadn't left, she never would have ran away and maybe we could have worked it out, you know? Got married and had more kids." he said holding back tears.

"Roger, this is not your fault. You were young and that was a horrible trauma for someone your age to experience. You did what you thought was the best thing for her. Just like April isn't your fault either. She made her choice and now you have to make yours." she asked as he wiped his eyes.

"I want her back Chi." he smiled looking down at her.

"So get her back Roger. Um, how did you guys start dating?" she smiled looking over at him.

"She had me running behind walls for 2 years before I finally worked up the nerve to talk to her in chorus class. I never thought anyone that beautiful would even talk to me, forget about date me." he laughed flipping through the pictures.

"You were hiding behind walls? I can't picture that." she smiled looking up at him.

"We were so much in love Chi. You should have seen us. I've never been happier in my life then when I was with her." he smiled looking down at her.

"Mark's gonna talk to her and she's gonna understand what happened. She's gonna be OK." she said looking up at him.

"I hope so Chi. I really hope so." he said looking down at her as he got up to go to his closet.

"What are you doing?" she asked looking up at him.

"You'll see." he smiled rifling through a box in the back of his closet taking out an envelope full of pictures.

"I remember Marky showing me that picture." she smiled taking it from him.

"Yeah, it was at his house after school. We always hung out at Mark's. He got pissed at us later that day. Me and Jules kind of shook up a bottle of soda and it exploded on Mark." he laughed looking down at the picture.

"Roger, you can't change the past, you know? All you can do is let her know you love her now and try to move past what happened." she said looking up at him.

"How do you know that?" he asked looking down over her.

"Because you're a good man and you deserve some happiness." she smiled looking up at him.

"She always made me happy Chi. Always." he smiled looking down at her.

"So then she'll come back to you and you'll be happy again." she smiled looking up at him.

"I hope so Chi. I really hope so." he said looking over at her.