Chapter 1:
This story is inspired by all the other kinky fics out here. It`s my first story (So please don`t spank me, if it is not the best fic you have ever red)
I do not own "Dean Ambrose", this character belongs to WWE.
,,I am a fucking terrible person and I want to hurt myself". The razorblade cut into Veronicas flesh for the sixth time now, slicing all the way down the nice, thick, blue vein under her very pale almost white skin.
Her left arm already looked like a battlefield – destroyed and smeared all over with blood.
„I deserve this", she said to herself with tears filling her light green eyes as she quickly cut into her arm again.
She silently watched the blood running down her entire underarm, landing onto the bathroom floor.
Watching herself bleed always calmed her down, it gave her some sort of satisfaction, a bit of inner peace, if you want to call it like that.
Since her early teenage years cutting had become Veronicas biggest passion, a daily routine, a weird, disturbing but necessary habit, something she couldn`t live without.
And now, at almost twentyfive years of age Veronica is still a passionate self harmer.
Life was never easy for her. Neglected by her parents, bullied by her former classmates, raped by a stranger, missunderstood by every human being she could think of and now even left by her long-term boyfriend.
The breakup with her boyfriend was the mainthing she hated herself for at the time.
He was the only person she had, the only one who would listen to her, and two weeks ago he had just packed his things and left her. He had left her for another woman and she had everything Veronica hadn`t : She was tall, tanned, blonde, had a successful job and a perfect smile.
To be true, Veronica herself wasn`t very pretty. She was extremely unhealthy-looking pale paired with very bad acne and dark circles under her eyes. Her hair was super long, wavy and dyed in a medium brown color, her natural blonde color was already peeking through, she needed to dye her roots very badly. Veronica almost always wore her hair in a messy bun, which – to be honestly wasn`t very flattering.
At 5`4 she wasn`t the tallest, but she had a nice, feminine shaped but still slim figure with natural C-sized breasts. Veronica always kinda „hide" her figure under wide hoodies mostly paired with faded jeans or leggings and the old red trainers she always wore. You could really tell she wasn`t very interested in nice clothes.
Veronica wasn`t like her peers, she and her life were pretty different than the others. Instead of having a job, a car and maybe even already a family like most people her age, Veronica had non of them.
She have had many different jobs over the years, but she always got fired after a couple of weeks for silly little things. But she always felt like those were just excuses to kick her out, because they didn`t like her, they didn`t want her, because she didn`t fit in there.
Veronica seemed to never really fit in anywhere, maybe it was her fault? Maybe it was the others?.
All in all Veronicas life seemed to be pretty out of control: She had no job at the time, she mostly got up at 10 a.m and spend almost the whole day in front of her TV.
There was barely any structure in her life, she had lost her discipline after all she had been through in her life, especially in the last years.
She never admitted it, not even to herself, but she knew that she badly needed some discipline, but she also knew that she wasn`t able to help herself with this problem. She knew she couldn`t get her lazy ass up herself to go and find a job, to finally get her drivers license at almost twentyfive, to wear better clothes and to basically „get a life".
In fact Veronica yearned for a strong and strict hand that would guide and protect her. Something or somebody, that or who would bring her to her limits and teach her one or two, or maybe even three, four or even more lessons, if it is necessary.
„That`s enough for today", Veronica sighed as she looked down to the deep cuts she had created on her arm. She got up and went over to the sink to clean her arm up under cold water. The water burned a bit on her new created wounds, but Veronica didn`t bother.
Then she wrapped the white, already turning a bit of a dirty-brown colored bandage she always wore to hide her cuts around her left underarm again.
