Because I Believe in Us
Summary: When Stiles refuses to be pushed away
"Why do you even care?" Derek shouted at the boy. "I didn't ask for your help."
They were having an argument again. Derek was stubbornly refusing his help. Not that Stiles gave a damn. He wasn't backing down, especially not for a grumpy Sourwolf.
"How many times has my help saved your asses?" Stiles demanded. "I've saved your life Derek!"
The alpha sighed, looking away from the boy with annoyance.
"Who saved you from drowning?" the boy went on. "Me! Who was ready to amputate your fucking arm even though I didn't want to? Me! Who brought Lydia to Jackson so we could take down Gerard? It was me Derek, so if you even think I'm not going to be involved in this alpha pack business..."
"God damn it Stiles, shut up! I am going to rip your throat out if you say another word."
"Oh big bad alpha," Stiles shot back sarcastically. "Think that scares me anyone Derek? Guess what? It doesn't! I know you don't mean it. You see I finally see the truth about the kind of person you are Derek."
The alpha's eyes flashed dangerously, but he didn't look away.
"You're just a broken, bitter individual who's scared to let anyone in because they might see the real you. Well I see the real you Derek, and do you know what I see? A scared and lonely little boy who never died, even though he likes to pretend he did in that fire. I see a person who does need people..."
"Stiles stop this," Derek muttered, but it wasn't as hostile.
"No Derek. You need to stop! Stop hiding. Let people in. You don't get to do this Derek. You think I don't get it? Your little comments and threats?"
Derek bounded on him angrily.
"Why are you doing this!?" he demanded. "Why are you saying all this shit? I don't care Stiles. I don't want to think... "
He cut off, wrapping his arms around himself defensively.
"Derek do you see what you're doing?" Stiles asked him sadly. "To yourself? You think this is what your family would want?"
"Please Stiles, just stop... "
"Derek," Stiles whispered.
The boy stepped closer to him, placing a gentle hand on his arm, those brown eyes burning into his.
"I know you don't hate me," Stiles whispered. "Why continue being alone? Why shut me out?"
"What do you want from me?" Derek asked, his face fallen in unmistakable confusion and anxiety.
"Us Derek. I believe in us. You think this realization has been easy for me either? Let me tell you about my pain Derek... "
Stiles stepped away from him, folding his arms with a scowl.
"I lost my mother Derek. My mother! She lied to me Derek. She told me nothing was wrong... "
"I know," Derek said softly.
"Huh?" Stiles asked him, eyes raising in skepticism.
"I overheard it one time," the alpha replied. "I realize looking back it must have been you and your parents. You were a little boy then. You... you asked if she was better."
Stiles felt a tear slide down his face. Derek knew. The alpha had been nearby that night they'd brought his mother home. He must have overheard.
"That's right Derek," Stiles whispered, wiping at his eye with his hand. "She... she lied to me. She told me she was better."
Derek stepped forward, wanting to comfort the boy. What was he doing? Why did he want to comfort Stiles? He hesitated, feeling guilt when the boy's expression went from expectant to cold.
"That's right Derek," he said snidely. "Just keep pretending you're not like the rest of us. You don't need anyone... "
Derek felt a rush of anger at being called out like that, but it conflicted with the confusion inside of him. He scowled.
"I think we've said enough," he said stubbornly. "I'll see you some other time."
Derek made for the boy's bedroom window, but Stiles grabbed his arm, pulling him back with surprising force. He wanted to rip the boy's head off, but then their eyes met. Stiles looked angry, and that was rare for him.
"Tell me one thing Derek, then you can go, you can go forever. Tell me that I mean nothing to you."
The alpha's chest clenched, the teen's accusing eyes going right to his heart. His expression became cornered. Stiles wasn't backing down.
"What's the matter Derek? You usually have no problem threatening me, telling me how I annoy you. Go ahead, say it... "
Derek still said nothing. Didn't Stiles realize it wasn't this simple? He couldn't just let his heart out to be broken... not again.
"You know what Derek?" Stiles asked him disgustedly. "You really are just a scared little boy, a coward who can't be loved because he doesn't know how to love. Screw you!"
The boy stood up. This was his own bedroom, but he couldn't be in it with Derek another second. He turned around to make for the door, but Derek's hand grabbed his arm gently, surprisingly gently.
"Stiles," Derek whispered. "Don't... "
The boy felt a surge of guilt at the hurt in the werewolf's voice. It held him.
"I do need you. I do care."
Stiles inhaled, the anger in him subsiding.
"Look at me, please."
Why was he obeying? Stiles found himself turning back around, Derek's hand still holding his arm. The alpha looked up at him, his expression very exposed and vulnerable, his eyes wide.
"I'm sorry Derek," he whispered. "I didn't mean it."
Derek stood, their faces now mere inches apart. What could they say? What needed to be said?
"I don't want you gone from my life," Derek told him in a surprisingly gentle voice. "I can't tell you I don't care. I'd be lying. I cared then Stiles. I cared when I saw that little boy, when I smelt death... "
Stiles eyes teared up again. Derek gently wiped the moisture away with his thumb.
"I want to stop hiding," he went on. "You're right Stiles. I don't know how to love. I never knew real love. Kate lied to me. I... need you to show me. Teach me how to love."
Stiles' expression had become soft and considering.
"Do you trust me Derek?"
"Yes," the alpha whispered, eyes still wide.
Stiles slowly raised a hand to the werewolf's cheek, stroking his stubble. They looked into one another's eyes for what seemed an eternity, but was only about a minute. Derek saw the boy move closer, felt those lips press against his. He felt something he'd never felt kissing Kate. This was real. This was love.
