Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.
Distance Part One: Transition
There's really no way to reach me
Cus I'm already gone
(Vienna - The Fray)
i. nine-years old
There are cherry blossom trees near my school. In spring, the trees bloom with delicate pink flowers, and its pale petals flutter around and land on the ground most gracefully.
My mom tells me that that's where she had met my dad: under the pink trees, surrounded by a pink-glowing sky. That's also a place where my dad had proposed, and later, they had come up with a name for their child – me.
"Sakura!" My mom yells and beckons me back to the house; I forgot my lunch again.
"I know you're in a hurry for school, but geez," her long, thin fingers envelop my face. She kneels in front of me, and as she gives me a good-bye kiss, she whispers, "You can be so forgetful, sometimes."
In my mind, I correct her: I'm not in a hurry for school; I'm in a hurry to see Sasuke-kun. But that's a secret, so I smile brightly and quickly run off, my lunch bag in my hand.
Soon, I'm breathless, but I reach the small path decorated with endless cherry trees.
Sakura trees.
'My trees,' I whisper in my mind.
Ahead, I see Sasuke-kun walking to school. His shoulders are straight and his white and navy clothes cling onto him comfortably. It's easy to spot him when he's wearing such colours contrasting the bright pink trees.
"Sasuke-kun!" I call out, waving, and I pace faster.
His head turns to me and a small smile greets me, "Sakura." His pale face glows with a light pink hue.
Oh, how I wish time could freeze – just me and Sasuke-kun and the beautiful cherry blossom trees around us.
ii. ten-years old
Something is wrong. I can feel it through my bones, my soul, because every part of me feels shaky. My heart sinks and I reach for Sasuke-kun.
"What's wrong?" I question, as my arms wrap around his to nudge him forward. He's rooted to the ground, and we're going to be late for school.
"Go away, Sakura!" His hand violently pushes me away, and his eyes tremble furiously.
But he won't look at me.
It's the first time I've seen him so angry like this. I want to be strong, I do, and I need to, for him. And yet… my eyes fill with tears and my vision blurs.
"Sasuke-kun…?" My voice croaks out tentatively.
He can hear the sobbing in my voice, I'm sure, because soon, he's back to his usual self again, or so I think.
"Sorry, Sakura," he mumbles, and I start breathing again.
'Everything is alright,' I try to convince myself.
But when his dark eyes lift up to meet mine, I know it will never be the same again.
There is a vast emptiness in his eyes and, almost mechanically, he confesses, "My clan has been killed."
I don't know what to say. I'm too shocked and I stay frozen helplessly, watching Sasuke-kun turn and walk away.
Somewhere within me fears that I will be late for school, but that is the least of my worries now.
iii. three weeks later
"You're so annoying!"
I am pushed away again, but I persist; I will not back down. I will not appear so weak like I did when I first caught the glimpse of the start of his anger, the start of his fall.
Ever since that day, I have been blaming myself, after all.
"Sasuke-kun," I don't reach for him, because he'll smack my hand away, but I don't move back either.
"Isn't there anything I can do?" I try to show my concern and appear strong at the same time, but perhaps, the latter is a mistake. Sasuke-kun recoils and his dark eyes glower accusingly at me.
His mouth opens slightly, as if to hiss, and he growls out, "You will never understand, Sakura," and his failure to understand my desire to help hurts me.
Still, I continue, "Then tell me, Sasuke-kun."
"I need to kill him," Sasuke-kun spits out, and I don't know if he is even aware of me at this point. "I need to kill the man who destroyed everything I have!" His eyes show agony, but there is a kind of madness, too.
'You still have me,' I want to say, but I swallow the lump in my throat and instead, declare, "I'll help you, Sasuke-kun; I'll do anything for you."
He looks at me then, as if to evaluate whether or not I could be trusted. Upon seeing my sincerity, he looks down, and then most astonishingly, he admits, "I'm too weak."
My eyes are wide and he continues, lost in his boiling anger again, "I need to get stronger."
iv. twelve-years old
Sasuke-kun disappears often these days. In fact, he misses most of our classes at school. He hasn't asked me to do anything since then, either, so I pray that he would lean on me, even once. He is taking on too much he can bear.
One day, I catch him sitting under a cherry blossom tree, although it's autumn now, and the trees are bare. Sasuke-kun doesn't look that out of place; his form camouflages well with the empty surrounding.
"Where –" I walk up and kneel down in front of him. Instinctively, my hands reach for him, but his head crashes onto my chest first.
I am startled, but I don't let it show. Instead, my arms hug Sasuke-kun's head.
Softly, I whisper, "Where have you been, Sasuke-kun?"
He doesn't answer, so my fingers gently stroke his hair. It's been too hard to even catch a glimpse of Sasuke-kun; I can't let this chance pass.
Finally, he gets up, and my chest feels bare and cold from the lack of his warmth. Before he walks away as usual, he turns back this time and tells me, "I've been training under a man named Orochimaru."
An uneasy smile forces into his face as he tries to reassure me, "I'm getting strong."
I do not feel reassured at all.
v. two weeks later
Shortly after that day, I meet him again, under the bare cherry blossom trees. The winds are piercing cold now, but nothing could be colder than the empty look Sasuke-kun has on right now.
"Sakura…" He starts off, but the sound of rustling winds quickly replaces his voice.
I'm too scared to move, so I stand still like the bare trees around us, until Sasuke-kun speaks up again, "I'm leaving."
'To where?' I want to ask, and Sasuke-kun continues as if he's heard my silent question.
"Orochimaru's leaving Konoha, and I must follow as well if I can become stronger," he says, and I feel sharp pain blaze my heart.
He's leaving me for power.
Suddenly, his eyes flash dangerously, "I'm an avenger, after all. I will do anything to kill him."
I guess I was wrong; he's leaving me for revenge.
Had I known who Orochimaru was, I would have stopped him. Had I known what Sasuke-kun was getting into, I would have pleaded and refused to let him go.
But I didn't know, so instead, I smile for the final time and promise, "I'll be waiting for you then, Sasuke-kun." I hope it's what he wants to hear, because every part of my body is screaming to stop him and call out, 'Don't go!'
'Don't leave me!'
He smiles back, though it is just as empty as his dark eyes, and walks away from me.
Foolishly, I think that this is the best for him, and that I did the right thing to let go of him.
I'm bad at convincing myself, so I just flop to the ground and weep.
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