Dinner With Voldie and the Escape of the Spies

Kingsley Shackebolt walked in the dark, dusty kitchen, looking for the maid. She was dressed in a maid's uniform with shoulder length brown hair and violet eyes. The Signal! It was the other spy in Voldemort's ranks, Nymphadora Tonks.

"What are you doing here?" asked Kingsley. "Dumbledore specifically said the only spies to be in here tonight were the One and Snape."

"I found a good job in here. I'm the cook. Damn good one at that too apparently. All I make is chocolate pancakes with caramel in the middle. But they all seem to like it. Anyway, if that's what Dumbledore said, then what are you doing here?" answered Tonks.

Kingsley chuckled.

"Dumbledore had a feeling someone was a tad too eager to stay within the ranks for the night for information. So, he sent me along to make sure you get out and get out safely."

"Humph. Well I hope you have a good plan because I don't see how you are going to get me out of here. I have to serve the 'dinner' and then I have to clear the dishes it away. There's simply no way that I'm going to allowed to leave."

"Don't be too sure about yourself. I'll get you out. Hakuna Matata-" Kingsley began to sing at this point- "What a wonderful phrase. Hakuna Matata. Ain't no passin craze. It means no worries for the rest of your daysssss. It's our problem freeeee, Philosophyyyyyy. Hakuna Matata."

"Very funny, Shacklebolt."

Tonks walked in slowly, carrying the heavy plate full of chocolate pancakes with caramel filling. She then carefully placed the plate full of food in front of Voldemort himself and bowed low.

"My lord, here is your supper." She whispered, making sure to act like all of Voldemort's other servants, anxiously trembling.

"Is the food to your liking, my lord?"

"Yes that will be all, Alice. Shacklebolt has informed me that the fool that calls himself a Minister, Fudge desires a new maid. You will follow Shacklebolt and be that maid and report back to me all the goings on of the Ministry of Magic and Fudge," ordered Voldemort in his high cold voice, thought oddly enough, it seemed that he was actually trying to sound somewhat nice or at least nicer than he spoke to his Death Eaters.

Tonks allowed tears to gather in her eyes.

"Must I go Master? Who will serve your food if I am gone?"

"The house elf, Kreacher. Now go before I am forced to punish you for questioning my judgment," replied Voldemort.

"Yes, my lord of course," Tonks meekly replied.

And with that, the so-called maid backed up out of the room while bowed low in the perfect imitation of respect for the man who murders innocent people with no remorse.

Later that night...Still during the same supper.

"Rosier, do you any report for me on the spies within our own ranks?" asked Voldemort coldly. Rosier trembled and replied.

"No, Master. I am sorry, but our spy is quite clever and I admit I am having difficulty determining who our spy is."

"Remember, Frederick, you have only two days before you are forced to suffer the same punishment as the spy. It is only just."

"Yes, my lord, of course," nervously replied Rosier.

Just then, Lucius Malfoy leaned over to Voldemort and said, "My lord, I think I know who the spy is."

"Do tell."

"Frederick Rosier."

"Hmm. We will see. Go get the Muggle dressing."

Malfoy positively guffawed in pleasure and tripped in his excitement to get the Muggle dressing. "Yes, my lord, of course." And all but sprinted out of the room to do as his Master bidding like a dog running after the bone his master tossed.

A few minutes later, Malfoy came back in the room, grinning like a hyena.

"My loyal Death Eaters, I have a treat!" said Voldemort cheerfully, or as cheerful as a man who enjoys seeing dementors Kiss people can get.

Murmuring instantly broke out among the Death Eaters.

"Muggle dressing!" said Voldemort. Cheers immediately broke out from all over the room. Muggle dressing was in all actuality the blood of Muggles tortured and murdered, which Voldemort used to declare all his true loyal Death Eaters, for he believed that if a person was sick enough to eat Muggle blood as if it were truly dressing, then they were in fact a true Death Eater. For a true Death Eater could feel no sympathy for those killed, only intense hate and need to utterly annihilate the disfiguring things in the world.

All the Death Eaters scrambled to get their hands on the "precious" Muggle dressing, to prove their loyalty to their lord. All except one, Frederick Rosier.

"Why, Frederick, I do not see you eating our precious Muggle dressing," said Voldemort almost gleefully.

Usually the man trembled when spoken to by Voldemort, but now Rosier confidently replied, "No."

"No?" asked Voldemort. "To refuse such a high and rare treat like Muggle dressing is to admit that you are no longer loyal to our cause and in effect no longer loyal to me."

"Well, you see Voldemort-"all the Death Eaters gasped, for no one said their master's name, with the few exceptions of Dumbledore, the Potter brat, and a few of the Dumbledore's lackeys -"It turns out that I was never one of your so-called loyal Death Eaters. There is no Frederick Rosier, honored illegitimate son of the late Evan Rosier. Do you honestly think anyone would-or could-go so far with that toad of a man who no longer exists? I think not. You may now call me The Great Sirius Black. And yes the the is required."

"You lie!" shrieked Bellatrix Lestrange. "He's dead! I killed him!"

"Well, dear cousin, it turns out I was alive when you sent me behind that accursed veil and so was able to escape, thanks to my pure heart and my dear friend, James Potter. You all remember him, don't you? The man who defied you three times and was murdered directly before your lord here was- er released of his body," replied Sirius saucily.

Voldemort stood up and signaled for the suspense music to begin plying.

"Well now, you don't think that I'm going to let you just waltz out of here just like that and escape only to tell all of our wonderful plans to the worthless Muggle-lover, Dumbledore, do you?"

"Actually, that was in fact my plan," jeered Sirius.

Voldemort stared at the man before him in wonderment, before calling out to his Death Eaters.

"Attack!"

Sirius stood stock still for a moment before saying, "Do you honestly think that these ignoramuses' could trap me? I think not." And with that Sirius bolted.

escape music begins to play now

Dense people that they are, the Death Eaters were completely unexpecting such an escape and stood there a moment in shock before Voldemort shrieked, "Get him!" And the Death Eaters promptly proceeded in following their lord's orders and trampled out of the room as a unit.

Meanwhile, Sirius sprinted through to the dining room's door and fumbled with the next door before remembering that the door was a slide door. Just as Sirius remembered this, the Death Eaters, many of whom were still in shock at the new turn of events, scrambled out the dining room door and were advancing rapidly as Sirius escaped through the sliding door. Sirius then progressed and ran through the house with the Death Eaters quickly on his heels. Then he saw it! The door to the outside world!

He yanked open the door and sunlight streamed in the house. For a second the sunlight blinded all the Death Eaters and Sirius. And Sirius once again bolted out, just as two hands grabbed his robes, yanking him back. Sirius hung on to the door like his life depended on it, which, ironically, his life did depend on it. Antonin Dolohov held onto Sirius' robes, calling out, "I've got him! I've got him!"

And the other Death Eaters proceeded to walk up to the door as Barty Crouch Jr. tripped over his own robes and bumped the Death Eaters hands out of Sirius' robes. Thus allowing Sirius Black to escape the house and return to Dumbledore and the Order of the Phoenix.

"Who did that?" questioned Dolohov angrily. And nobody answered for nobody knew, except in fact for one Severus Snape under the alias of Barty Crouch, Jr.

victory music plays

The End

p.s. never worry, the sequel's coming soon! What will happen to The Great Sirius Black now that his cover has been blown and the world thinks of him as a dangerous serial killer? Find out next time in the next installment of Dinner With Voldie and the Escape of the Spies!