A/N: craazyy.. something new?! i know, i dont even believe it myself. let me tell you a little story about this piece ive written.
i met the most amazing guy ever 3 months ago, we pretty much immediately started dating, it was summer and i left on a vacation then he left and then when we were both finally back home, we almost instantly were together as a couple. after 2 weeks of being his girlfriend, i realized i was falling in love with him. and guess what? i did. i fell in love, head over heels, truly like i'd never fallen before. 2 weeks ago, i was thinking about how much i appreciated him and how much it would hurt if we broke up, so i started writing this, but it was unfinished. little did i know we'd actually break up. we broke up wensday, and these past few days have been the hardest days of my life, and tonight i finished this and started bawling. its really hard to lose someone you care so much about. the reason for the breakup is a long story, but im slowly getting back to being myself again. but this is inspired by a true story,
and yees, i know a bunch of words that should be capitalized arent, but its just for sake of writing style. those are more her thoughts, and the correctly written sentences are actions. if that makes sense. i cant promise this being any incredible piece of work, its pretty much just my thoughts and trying to percieve how much breakups absolutely suck.
missed you guys. cant promise more writing because of my heecticc schedule, but for the time being.. here:) enjoyy.
I'll Be Missing You
natexmiley
oneshot
my heart completely stopped beating for an entire two seconds. i couldn't find my breath.
I think he was still saying something to me, but I didn't hear a word of it. Small droplets formed in the corner of my eyes, tears beginning to drip down the sides of my face.
is this how if feels to fall?
"But I know we're still going to be able to be great friends, because I care about you so much and never want to lose-" I heard his sweet, angelic voice pleading.
My eyes slowly closed completely shut, and I took a deep breath. I didn't know what to do with myself.
living in a world without him would be like living in a world with no air. i couldn't possibly figure out how I was ever going to move on. how I was going to live without looking into his chocolate brown eyes and kissing his velvet lips, or the feeling of being in his arms. i was going to miss everything about him, from the way he was always fixing his perfectly curled brown locks to his amazing, sarcastic sense of humor. like the rest of us, he had many flaws, but his flaws were nothing short of beautiful.
"Miley? Miley? Is everything alright? Are you okay?" he asked, staring straight into my blue eyes. "Please don't cry. I'm sorry it has to be like this, but it just does." He wrapped his arms around me in a tight hug, and my head fell onto his shoulder and I completely lost it. Tears came pouring down my cheeks uncontrollably like a rainstorm, and I couldn't stop shaking.
i'm okay. i'm okay. or at least, I will be.
maybe.
"I'm so sorry," he whispered into my ear, tucking brown strands of my hair behind my ear. "I really am."
did he realize how much this hurt? did he realize how much pain I was in? it felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest. what did I have to live for anymore? there was a hole in my chest where my heart used to be; it would be hard to fill that hole now that he's gone.
breaks , breaking , b r o k e n .
I slowly pulled away from his embrace. "Nick, just stay away from me for a while. Please. I can't handle seeing you right now." I took a deep breath, and then started for the door. It was pouring outside, pellets of rain harshly hitting the pavement.
who was going to sing me to sleep every night? when I have a bad day, who will I call? he was my everything; my forever and always. we could stay on the phone for hours, not saying a word, but that was okay. whenever I was sick, he would come over to take care of me, regardless of my protests that he'd get sick also, and make me chicken noodle soup while holding me and running his hands through my hair.
Droplets of rain pelted down on me, dripping down my face and exposed skin. I didn't care one bit about getting a cold from the stupid rain- that would be nothing compared to how hurt and miserable I was feeling at the moment. I didn't know if it was entirely possible to love again. He was my one and only. We were going to be together f o r e v e r.
"Miley! Wait! Don't go yet, please. I won't be able to fall asleep tonight not knowing how you're doing. I just need to know you're going to be alright," he pleaded as he jogged over to where I was standing.
"Alright? You think you can break up with me and expect me to be alright?" I scoffed. "You've obviously got a lesson to learn."
I turned my back to him.
My stomach was riled up in knots and I couldn't breathe. My heart was racing, quicker than I'd ever felt it, and tears continued to pour down my face. I couldn't stop from sobbing and choking, there was just too much pain.
there was no way this could be over. a week ago everything had been so perfect, where did we go wrong?
why?
"I loved you Nick, I really did," I whispered. It wasn't loud, but I knew he could hear me. He didn't have the best hearing, but somehow always heard the things that matter, the things he was supposed to hear. "I've never loved someone like I love you; you're pretty unique. No matter what happens, every guy after you will have a lot to live up to because that's just how amazing you are, and I wont ever forget you or the time we spent together. I don't regret one second of it, and I wouldn't change anything that happened for the world. I just wish you felt the same. I wish that for once, our emotions and feelings weren't on completely separate levels. Damn it, Nate, I love you. I will always love you. I just don't get how you've moved on so quickly."
By this time, I was on my knees and my head was buried in my hands, my shoulders gently shaking. My jeans were entirely soaked from the rain and the wetness of the night, but someone could've pushed me in a puddle of mud and I wouldn't have cared.
"Miley, you think I don't love you? You think I don't care about you?" his voice sounded beautiful but filled with hurt and sadness. Good. "Because I do. I really honestly do. I wish we didn't have to break up, but its just what has to happen at the moment. If we're meant to be together, we'll find a way to get back together."
I got up, and looked him straight in the eye. "Thanks for all the good times we had," I whispered, one last tear trailing down my cheek. He wrapped his arms around my body in a hug, and I held on to him and wouldn't let him go. The last time we'd embrace; for a while at least. I wanted to remember everything about that moment; the way he looked, the way he smelt, the way he felt.
I finally pulled away but leaned forward to lightly kiss his cheek. "Goodbye, Nathan. I'll be missing you."
--
a/n: reviews would kind of boost my writing self esteem :)
