Disclaimer:This is a fanfiction story based on the Bleach universe and inspired by Hana Kimi. Said works respectively belong to Tite Kubo and Hisaya Nakajo.

Special thanks to:Alda and RG.


Chapter One: The Plan


August 24, 5:45 PM

"I'm old enough to decide for myself, Ichi-nii." The words are spoken confidently. Their speaker shows no sign of backing down, no weakness that could be exploited.

But Kurosaki Ichigo has to try.

"It's a stupid idea, Karin," he says, leveling an awesome scowl in response to his sister's death glare. Maybe it's a Kurosaki thing. If looks could kill, their glares would bury everyone else ten feet under. Or maybe, it's just him and Karin. "Why are you so worked up on that brat anyway? You don't even know him!"

"Exactly!" Karin says, her voice louder than she intended. "That's why I am going! To get to know him better!"

"For God's sake, Karin!" They're both shouting now, despite the fact that they're just an arm's length apart. They've both forgotten that they have an audience.

Their companions watch them awkwardly, contemplating whether it's a good idea to stop their argument or not.

Probably not.

"I know exactly why you want to go to that damn Seireitei High School and get closer to him!"

"I'm so glad you know!" The younger sibling bites back, every syllable of her statement heavily laced with sarcasm. "In any case, why are you so against it?"

"Because it's stupid! The guy has already given up on soccer. If he truly loves the sport, he wouldn't have used a pathetic excuse like a minor injury to stop playing!" He manages to stop himself, realizing too late that that's probably not the best thing to say. The subject can easily set off the guilt Karin still feels, even after a year. "I'm sorry," he says, slightly abashed.

"No. You don't understand, Ichi-nii..." Karin shakes her head, her voice gone quieter but no less calmer. She curls her hand into a fist, wanting to punch the dining table—or her brother's face—to release her frustration, but quickly drops the idea. Resorting to violence is not always necessary, she reminds herself. In fact, it's never necessary, although it's one of the easiest means.

"You don't get it." It's a statement intended not only for Ichigo, but for everyone in the Kurosakis' dining area, for everyone else who can hear her.

Her brother doesn't get it. Her family and friends don't. Because they were not there. They know the whole story, but that's still a far cry from personally witnessing the incident.

The trauma. The guilt. Mostly the guilt. None of them has to deal with these horrible feelings. "It was me... It was all my fault..."

No one dares speak for a long moment, until a short, black-haired lady decides it's finally safe to break the silence and join the Kurosaki siblings' exchange. "You keep blaming yourself, Karin-chan," she says, speaking gently to show her concern for Karin but her tone chiding nonetheless. She politely ignores the details of the event which lead to Karin feeling guilty in the first place, "You should not. It was Hitsugaya-san's choice in the first place. He could have chosen to continue to play, but he did not."

Karin smiles weakly, silently thanking the woman for her obvious effort to ease her guilt. Of all the decisions that her brother has ever made, having Kuchiki Rukia as his girlfriend is so far the best. Rukia is the older sister Karin always wished to have when she was a kid.

Still, what she said is not enough to completely ease the way Karin feels.

"But it's not that simple, Rukia-nee. The first and only time he failed to perform his signature move was in the game after he'd gotten the injury. That was also the first and only game he lost."

"And also the last game he played," Yuzu quietly offers, glancing around to observe everyone's reactions.

"Right," Karin murmurs, looking at her fisted hands in her lap, "you could see that it was really a big blow to him. He was his team's hope, but..."

"We never blamed him for that loss."

Karin looks up instinctively, only for her gaze to land on a red-haired man staring at her with an unfathomable expression. As a captain of the Seireitei Soccer Team, Abarai Renji can certainly speak on behalf of all of his team mates.

"But you were counting on him," Karin returns, a shot that leaves Renji with no response but silence. Because it's the truth. The whole Seireitei Soccer Team believed in Hitsugaya Toushirou. So much that they almost became dependent on him. He was their ace player, after all. "And he let you down. Not deliberately, of course, but I'm sure he felt responsible. He failed you. How was he supposed to face you then?" Karin bites the corner of her bottom lip, then lets it go as she sighs. "It wasn't even his fault. Had it not been for me... Had it not been for that incident..."

"I'm sure he doesn't blame you," Rukia says, gaining a nod of agreement from Renji, if only to get Karin out of self-reproach. But even they know it won't work.

Karin just laughs humorlessly, acid accompanying her next words, "Of course not. He can't exactly blame a person he doesn't know at all, can he?"

Another silence meets her statement.

"What are you planning to do then?" Ichigo asks after a few seconds of increasingly uncomfortable silence, his voice gruff with frustration despite his clear effort to hide it. "Attend Seireitei High School, walk up to him and tell him the whole truth?"

"I wanna see him on the soccer field again," Karin answers easily. Those around her silently wonder at how quickly she seems to change her mood. "I'm going to Seireitei High School and try to get him to play."

"How are you going to do that, Karin-chan?" Yuzu asks tentatively. Perhaps, she's just being careful not to rub her sister the wrong way, considering how blatant their brother is already with his disagreement. Or maybe she knows Karin well enough to be wary of her next words.

Karin shrugs. "For starters, I'll join the Seireitei Soccer Team."

Completely taken aback by her plan,—it looks like she's already given a lot of thought to it—Ichigo, Rukia and Renji gape at her.

Renji is the first to recover. "But, Karin, don't forget that there's no girls' soccer team in Seireitei High School, and our team is exclusively for boys."

"Then, can't you make an exception?" Karin asks hopefully.

Renji shakes his head. "I'm afraid not. That's the exact reason why some girls, who wanted to play soccer, transferred from Seireitei to Karakura."

Silently, Ichigo hopes that Renji's answer will dampen Karin's resolve.

"Then it can't be helped," Karin says, scratching the back of her head thoughtfully. "I guess I don't have any other choice..."

Ichigo blows out a relieved breath. She certainly has no other choice but to consider her plan completely juvenile.

"...but to disguise myself as a guy."

A hush falls over the room. The uneasiness from the silence earlier is nothing as compared with the tension from the silence now.

Everyone except Karin exchanges incredulous glances with each other, as in sync as if they suddenly developed telepathy. If Karin's plan of attending Seireitei High School and joining the soccer team is jaw-dropping, her idea of disguising herself as a guy is totally mind-blowing.

Words do not need to be spoken. Ichigo, Rukia, Renji and Yuzu all agree on one thing: Karin has gone off her gourd.

"Tell me you're kidding, Karin-chan," Yuzu whispers gravely. And if sweet, good-humored Yuzu says it's not a good joke, then it really is not a good joke.

But Karin is very sober, her expression not even close to kidding. "I'm serious."

"And I thought your idea of transferring to Seireitei couldn't get any worse," Ichigo grumbles, "You can't do that, Karin, I won't let you."

"Oh yeah?" Karin glares at her brother. "What makes you think that your permission is needed, huh, Ichi-nii?" Don't get her wrong. She loves her brother, as much as he does her, but sometimes—alright, most of the time—his big brother complex just irritates the hell out of her. He thinks she can't take care of herself, and it just drives her closer to rebellion.

Before the argument can restart, Rukia decides to butt in, "But, Karin-chan, even if you can get into the soccer team, Hitsugaya-san is no more a part of it. So how do you plan to get close to him?"

"I haven't thought of that yet," Karin answers, without missing a beat. Seeing her companions' expressions, she quickly adds, "But I'll come up with it eventually."

Yet another silence.

"I just wonder though, Karin-chan. Why are you so willing to go that far? Like what Ichigo said, you hardly know the guy. So why are you so determined to go to so much trouble just for him? It couldn't be just because you admire him a lot, right?"

Karin stares at Rukia, as if trying to decipher her real intention for asking that question. Convinced that it's really just out of curiosity, she answers, sighing, "No, of course not. That's too shallow even for me."

She admires a few other people, but it's different with Hitsugaya Toushirou. Since that incident, he's always been completely different for her. Since then, he's more than just her favorite soccer player.

"My plan is insane, yes. Don't think that I don't realize that. But I feel like I have to do this."

And if doing it can help to take the remorse away, then she sees no reason to stop.

"After all..." she smiles. For her, it's very clear what the greatest incentive is. And this time, she knows her brother will get it.

Because they're just the same in that aspect. Both of them slaves to their sense of honor.

"I'm indebted to him."