Here is the first chapter...I hope you like it! It gets a lot better in the next chapter...I know...I'm working on chapter 4... HikariMoriyakuRaven

Chapter 1: Drown

Beastboy jumped out of bed. He was feeling pretty good about himself.

'Today's the day! I'm going to ask her out!' he thought.

After changing, Beastboy went downstairs to the kitchen. Cyborg was rushing to get out eggs and bacon.

"Dude!"

"I'm cooking a real breakfast, you green imp!" Cyborg said.

After a twenty minute arguement, Robin desided that Beastboy would make his own food. Cyborg laughed at him. Then, Robin desided that Cyborg would have to clean up after Beastboy for a week. Beastboy returned the laugh.

"Hello friends!" exclaimed Starfire.

The alien flew over to her chair and sat down, waiting to eat. She looked around the table.

"What are you looking for, Star?" Robin asked.

"Where is the mustard?"

They all looked at her.

"You ate it all," replied Raven, entering the room.

"Oh, good morning, Raven," Starfire said.

"What would you like?" Cyborg asked.

"I'll get it myself," Raven said grabbing a cup and a packet of tea.

Beastboy looked at her. He waited for he to finish. Raven looked at him.

"What?" she asked with the same tone as always.

"I'm waiting for you to hurry," he said.

Raven rolled her eyes and walked away. She walked up the stairs and out of sight.

'Why is she so graceful?'he asked himself.

"Beastboy, you're getting water everywhere," said Robin, snapping him back into reality.

Beastboy began to clean up the water he got all over the counter.

"What are you thinking about, BB?" Cyborg asked him.

"Nothing," he replied.

"Uh-huh. Not!" Robin said.

"Dude, I'm not thinking of anything!"

"That never changes from any other day," Cyborg continued.

Robin gave Cyborg a high five. Beastboy grabbed his bowl of tofu and went to his room. He closed the door. He sighed. Then, his stomache got the best of him. He began to devoir the tofu.

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Raven hovered over her bed, meditating. She was trying to push thoughts from her head, but one thing kept interrupting her. A vase shattered and she sighed.

'What is wrong with me? Why am I thinking like this?'she asked herself cleaning up the broken peices of the vase.

Raven tossed them in a trash can. She walked over to a chest next to her bed and unlocked it. There sat a black, leather bound book. Raven picked it up and opened it to a blank page. She began to write.

Why do these thoughts still haunt my mind. I have tried to forget them. Yet, they come back. Why does it have to happen now? I can't feel. I'm not supposed to. Why is this happening to me? Things have been messed up since Terra. Why did she have to ruin everything? I wouldn't be thinking these thoughts if she had not returned. I wouldn't have to hide these emotions. But why do they come back? I don't want him anymore. He betrayed me just like her. I don't need him. I don't need anyone. I am not supposed to feel.

"Yeah, I keep telling myself that, but it never happens," Raven whispered.

She closed the book and placed it back in its place. She grabbed another book. This one was worn. There were many writings in it. Raven opened up to the last blank page. This would be her last writing.

"Shadow"

Have you ever felt that welling of rage inside you that wants to break free? I have. It haunts me day and night taking its feed from my soul and slowly forcing out the light. Soon, there won't be anything left. When the darkness desides to consume you, there is nothing stopping it. All you feel is pain. You can't speak. You can't breathe. Maybe it is because you don't want to. I don't know. But for whatever is inside me, I'm frightened. There is no place to run. There is no one to hear you scream. You are trapped inside yourself as you light begins to disappear, Some let in teh dark. But for those like me, we try to fight it. We are so frightened of it that we try to run and scream our lungs out. But no matter how hard you try, no one will see you and no one will hear you. That is what it is like to be alone. You have nothing but fear and that is how I prefer to live. If you read this, try to understand that no matter how hard you'll try, I'll still be lost within myself. Darkness is consuming me no matter what you try to do. My voice is dry and my legs hurt. My light is almost gone and this is my final farewell. Soon, I will be nothing but a shadow to you all...

Raven paused. There was still room for one more.

"My Promise"

I wrote something once about how I am being lost to the dark. I have cried out for help. I cried for someone to not let me fall into the darkness. I only need one person. I don't know how this happened. I feel so naked around him that I nearly share everything I feel. I have never flet this way about a guy. I haven't told anyone that I am dying. Maybe he'll save me. Maybe he'll give me his light and take my dark. I'll take it, even if it costs his light. I'm going to let me help me out of the darkness. I'm writing this for him. He'll never read this. If he does, I guess that I should say that you have made me smile. You are my light. You are the light that I'll follow out of this tunnel. I'm going to follow you. Someday, you'll see my smile. I won't have to hide it. I will be able to feel. I won't be a shadow. I'll be alive. I need you. I need you to be free...

A tear fell down Raven's cheek and hit the book. She tried to wipe it away, but it smeared the name she put. She sighed.

"Maybe, he shouldn't see his name there. It shouldn't be like this. I'm not like him. I'll never be like him."

Raven sighed and placed the book on her bed. She walked over to the window. The sun was shinning from behind the Tower, casting a shadow across the water. Dark clouds began to form from the west. Raven sighed. A knocking on her door disrupted her train of thought.

"Hey, Raven. It is I, Starfire!"

Raven walked over to the door and opened it. Starfire held on to spoon. She was stirring something.

"What is it?" she asked.

"Robin is wondering if you would like to come to train."

"No."

The door closed in Starfire's face. Raven walked back to the window. The dark clouds were getting closer.

'I better go meditate now before it begins to rain,'she thought.

The half-demon pulled up her hood and walked out of her room. She heard music come out of Beastboy's room. She rolled her eyes.

"Good morning day...Sorry I'm not there...But all my favorite friends...Vanished...in the air...It's hard to fly when you can't even run...Once I had the world, but now I've got no one..."

Raven paused.

"If I needed someone to control me...If I need someone to hold me down...I would change my direction...And save myself before I...If I needed someone to control me...If I needed someone to push me around...I would change my direction before I...drown..."

She leaned up against the wall next to the door.

"Good morning day...Sorry you're not here...But all those times before...Were never this unclear...It's hard to walk when you can even crawl...Once I had this world, but now I've lost it all..."

She closed her violet eyes. She was beginning to like the song.

"If I needed someone to control me...If I need someone to hold me down...I would change my direction...And save myself before I...If I needed someone to control me...If I needed someone to push me around...I would change my direction...As save myself before I...drown…"

She sighed.

"Rolling faster then I'm breathing...Drown...Rolling faster then I'm breathing...Drown...Rolling faster than I'm breathing..."

Everything felt right. This song was about her. She felt it.

"If I needed someone to control me...If I need someone to hold me down...I would change my direction...And save myself before I...If I needed someone to control me...If I needed someone to push me around...I would change my direction...As save myself before I...drown..."

Then, it hit her.

'Do I actually like Beastboy's music?'she thought.

Raven continued her walk. The thought of her liking Beastboy's music frightened her.

'I'm not supposed to like anything he likes. Ewe.'

She opened the door to the roof. The dark clouds had covered a little of the city. The song hadn't ruined her afternoon meditation. She sat on the ground and crossed her slender legs. She began to hover, chanting the words that she was growing tired of. The door to the roof opened. She showed no sign that she knew it opened. Raven continued until the dark skies had covered her and a few raindrops hit her bare legs.

"You know, it is starting to rain," said Beastboy.

Raven stood. She turned to look at him.

"Why did you follow me out here?"

"No reason. Want to come inside before it starts pouring?" he asked, opening the door.

Raven just walked through it and headed towards her room.

"You know, you don't need to spend all your time in you room. I-I mean, we would all like to see you now and then."

"I prefer to stay in my room," she replied closing her door in his face.