"Hey babe," Iggy said, wrapping his arms around Max's waist. Max giggled, then turned so that they could make out.
Fang gagged, for one they were now making out on the kitchen counter, where the food that he ate was prepared, and two he felt kind of lonely. Especially after he looked around the living room, Nudge and her boyfriend were making out on the couch, Gazzy was on the floor with his girlfriend, and Fang was all alone. Except for Angle, but she was zoned out in front of the tv watching the nickelodeon version of Hannah Montana or something.
Sighing, Fang decided to go outside and get some fresh air. On the way out, he grabbed the laptop. Fang went out on the porch and sat down. Why couldn't he get a girlfriend! Then he remembered the computer.
First he logged on to YouTube. He quickly typed in a phrase, and clicked the little 'search' button. He hesitated before clicking on a video, doing this made him feel pathetic. But then he sucked it up, and played the damned video.
But unfortunately the first few didn't help much. So he kept watching.
Before he knew it, Fang had gone through over fifty different "how to get a girlfriend" videos. And none of the helped, at all!
He sighed, maybe it just wasn't meant to be. Dejectedly he was about to exit off the page, when he spotted it – an advertisement at the top of the page.
At first he didn't want to go to it, it made him feel desperate. But then he remembered, "oh wait, I am desperate!" So sucking up his pride he went to the eHarmony dating website.
It took him over thirty minutes to fill out the survey thing, because he kept deleting and retyping everything he put down. But finally he made it to the end of the survey, and clicked the little submit button.
Logging off the page, and deleting the history, Fang shut the computer down.
…
It wasn't until almost a week later that he had any time to check his eHarmony account.
He stared, completely shocked, at the screen. Honestly, he wasn't expecting a whole bunch of matches, but maybe five or so would've been nice.
But, no! He couldn't even get one lousy match. Instead he got a message saying "We're sorry, but we are unable to find you a match at this time." He wanted to bang his head on the ground. How could the blind guy, and the guy with digestive problems get girlfriends and he couldn't?
Did the universe hate him or something?
Max walked up to him, "Hey, Iggy just finished din-"
He turned to look at her, and saw her shocked expression. It took him a moment he realized that she was staring at his eHarmony results. "Damn it, Max! You can't tell anyone!"
At that, she started laughing hysterically, tears falling from her eyes. While she was laughing, Nudge came over to check on them. It didn't take her long to figure out what Max was laughing at. And before Fang even knew what was happening the rest of the flock was surrounding them all laughing hysterically.
Yes, the universe did hate him.
