Lonely Night
by Bonnie E.

In Solis 460
Dunan Unification War
The night before the final battle

I really shouldn't worry so much, Apple thought.

She stared down into her tea. Steam no longer rose from it. She had ordered it, hoping it would stop the butterflies in her stomach. Instead, she found she just couldn't handle the thought of downing anything.

So…tomorrow was the end. Whether it would be victory or defeat for Dunan was anyone's guess. As much as she believed on the surface they would win, it was at moments like this, late at night, that the doubt attacked her.

Losing further interest in her tea, Apple's gaze drifted toward the center of the table where a single candle burned, illuminating the entire room. Once again, she became aware that she was the only one in the room— the bar's owner had closed up some time ago. Apple had told Leona that she'd only be a few minutes more, but it had easily been an hour or two since then. She knew that even if she tried to sleep, it would be in vain.

It was like this the first time, too. Only then, I had Mathiu by my side.

I know I should trust Shu. He's like a brother to me, and a very competent strategist - far more competent than myself. But still, regardless of how solid the plan, I still worry.

Shu has it covered from every possible angle. There is no conceivable way we could lose. Except…I know there are always things you can't anticipate. A traitor, or a more brilliant move from the opposing side…especially since Highland has Leon Silverberg on their side. I know Leon. He, like Mathiu, is very talented. And I admit, much of what Shu and I learned from Mathiu, he learned from Leon. Their ideas and morals on things were different, but their way of doing things were often quite similar. Shu fooled Leon once, but I'm not certain he will fall for that again.

"Hey…"

The suave, smooth voice came from behind Apple, and unfortunately, she knew it well. The lecherous, annoying son of the Toran Republic's president – Sheena Lepant. The blond-haired man stepped into her view, his moves less than smooth as he plunked himself into the chair across from her, uninvited.

Apple regarded Sheena with a tinge of contempt as he made himself comfortable. It wasn't as if she hadn't noticed his soft, pale skin or the impish gleam in his eye. And she had certainly noticed his charming smile. And it was amazing how in strategy meetings, he'd look chronically bored as if he wasn't even paying attention, but then all of a sudden perk up and blurt out an idea to add to the plan. But there was considerably more to Sheena Lepant than his good looks. Unfortunately, those things were far less appealing. Mainly, his wandering eye. He gave any woman who so much as looked in his direction his undivided attention.

Although recently Apple had noticed that, while Sheena paid plenty of attention to the women around the castle, the majority of it seemed to be centered on her, especially as of late. Not that she could understand why. Not when he could have any of the prettier girls in the Orange Army. One who would even probably put out, if he pushed enough. His attention on her didn't at all matter. It didn't change who he was - a womanizing brute.

"You're still up," he spoke plainly.

"Yes."

"Couldn't sleep?" he asked. "Let me guess. You're nervous."

She scowled. Why was he bothering her like this?

"Yeah, you are. That's why you're gracing me with your lovely smile," he said with a laugh.

Okay, maybe it was funny. But she wouldn't honour him with an answer or even so much as a hint of her amusement. She didn't want to give him the wrong idea.

"Oh…oh, your expression cracked for a split second, there. Admit it. You're happy that I came."

She had tried so hard to hide it. Her bluffing skills needed work. Regardless, it was still advantageous to deny it.

"I most certainly am not."

Sheena scowled. "Hmph. I don't believe you."

"What do you want?"

"A place to sit for a few minutes. I'm sorry - was this seat taken?"

He couldn't be serious. Of course he knew very well that the seat wasn't taken. Regardless, she had no snappy comeback for him. She didn't even think before she responded, for if she had, the answer would have been different.

"No."

She realized quickly what she had said, and wanted to take it back. But then she saw him leaning back, stretching, and decided against it. Perhaps she did need someone to talk to. Anyone. Even Sheena.

Yes, she had to be desperate.

He ran his hand through his short, pale locks. "So, how long have you been here?"

"Since before closing."

"I see. Not surprised. I guess some things don't change. But…that's okay. You wouldn't be you if it did."

What is that line all about? How dare you assume you know who I am? she wanted to say, but instead found herself unable to.

"I remember seeing you hanging out all night the first time we did this. I'll bet you were up all night then, too, weren't you? Anyway, back then I didn't know what to say to you, even though I wanted to. But…hehe…I wasn't as nervous back then, either. I admit, I'm still up because I'm looking for someone to talk to. Help me take my mind off tomorrow. Fortunately, it's you I found."

"You're nervous?"

Why was the revelation so surprising to her? It wasn't as if he wasn't human. And, dare she think, there was just something in the tone of his voice that was genuine.

Sheena nodded. "Yup." He pouted a moment, but then hid it with a false smile. "Riou asked me to be one of the ones to come with him tomorrow. To infiltrate the castle… whatever it's called. Me, him, Georg, Viktor, Flik...and, eh, I don't know who else. Don't know if he'd decided yet. Anyway, as much as I'll love being the big hero if we win, invading enemy castles is bloody dangerous. I think I'd rather take my chances on the battlefield, honestly. Buuut…in a way I'm honoured that Riou thinks enough of my skills to invite me along."

Sheena fell silent and merely stared at her. She felt decidedly unnerved by it. What was stirring deep within her?

Something about the way Sheena looked at her…her heart fluttered and her head swam in a strange wave of euphoria. There was something about his gaze that was unlike any she had ever received before. She both loathed it and loved it all at once. It made her heart feel calm, but made her mind call out in a panic. It wasn't as though it was a new feeling, she admitted, but how she hated it. Perhaps that's why she despised him so much.

She pushed it aside, trying to bury it beneath her calm exterior. She slowly regained her composure. She couldn't let herself get distracted when she was on the eve of something so important.

Sheena continued. "You know,I've wanted to say this for a long time, but…I guess you've been busy. Or I've chickened out or…whatever. But…I admire a woman with a brain. Believe me - I've looked around and met a lot of girls, but…dumb girls are boring. And do you know how hard it is to find a smart girl who is also stunningly beautiful?"

His words shocked her - not so much for the content, but for the honesty in his tone. But before indulging him, Apple reminded herself that Sheena was an experienced womanizer. He probably didn't mean it. It was a line – the same one he dished to every single girl he attempted to woo.

Sheena sighed and his eyebrows crinkled together, as if he felt slightly hurt. Not in a false way – real, genuine hurt. Maybe, just maybe he had been earnest, as impossible as that seemed.

"Most girls would either giggle or slap me. Not just sit there."

"I didn't think it deserved a response."

Sheena looked at her, slightly indignant. "Hmph. A man pours his heart and soul out to you and you insult him. Thanks."

"Oh? That was pouring out your soul?"

Sheena sighed. Apple tried not to notice the genuine frustration in it, but she couldn't help it.

"I suppose I should have expected that reaction. After all, you'll never be a giggler and you're not much of a hothead. Not to mention, you're probably inexperienced with this sort of thing."

"What sort of 'thing'?"

Sheena paused, leaning on the table and moving closer. "Has anyone ever told you that you're beautiful before?"

"Of course!" she shouted.

"Heh…your parents don't count. I'm talking about men, Apple."

Never…

"One or two. But that's none of your business."

What did it matter? Sheena's confession was still of little consequence. Perhaps if he really meant it, but no…it really meant nothing at all. It had been too natural, too smooth…as if he'd had plenty of experience in saying it.

"Well…you know all the men who didn't notice? They're all blind and stupid."

Blind and stupid? Do you really think THAT will win me over? She was far brighter than to melt and fawn all over him with a few words uttered from his silver tongue.

Still, it was nice for him to say, anyway…

"What were you trying to imply about me being inexperienced?"

"Never mind. Forget it." He smiled wryly for a moment, then switched back to the nervous face. "You know, my old man Lepant…he was quite a ladies' man in his day. But…when he met my mom, he became a one-woman man. Nobody believed it was possible, but did you ever see those two apart? Nah, me neither."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because…I might not have a chance after tomorrow," he said, his voice frank.

Something told Apple that he meant it. And it all made sense. Here, long after dark, he had come here, looking for her. He could have chosen anyone. Anyone easy if he was after more. But…he had chosen her.

Why her? What did he find so special about her?

Because she wasn't easy. He wanted a challenge.

But…if he was so worried about the battle, then why choose a challenge? Why not just find someone easy for the night and then wait until he was sure he'd live to start work on something challenging?

It couldn't mean that he meant what he said, could it? No. Impossible.

But why? Why was it so hard to fathom that an attractive man like Sheena could notice her?

"Anyway," he spoke. "I was thinking that after tomorrow - if I make it, of course - if you'd like to give me a chance, I'd really appreciate that."

She wanted to blurt out and object to how his words seemed to wrap around her heart so easily, but she found herself unable. Everything he had said, every nuance in his expression exuded honesty. As much as her mind shouted at her, she couldn't find the words to protest.

Yes, she admitted to herself, I've wanted this, too. I'm not sure when it began - three years ago or if it happened during this war, but…it doesn't really matter, does it?

I think I want to be with him. I denied it for a long time, but it snuck up on me. And now it seems possible. I never imagined…

If he were any other man, I'd refuse. I'd tell him he was being foolish - that I didn't have time for this, but…not Sheena Lepant. I just can't.

There are so many things to dislike about him. He can still make me mad so easily. I must be crazy for even thinking about this.

So okay…I'm crazy. But I can't let him know that.

"I'll think about it tomorrow, after the battle. Ask me again then."

"Buuut…"

"Oh, you'll make it. Riou hand-picked you. He obviously believes in your talent. There's no doubt you're a good swordsman. So are the others going with you. And…even if for some reason you don't, it's better than an outright 'no', is it not?"

He pouted. "Yeah, I guess."

Sheena stretched again. "And you know – you shouldn't worry, either. You're a hell of a strategist, and a value to Shu's team, even if you don't believe so. I think things will go great at your end, too."

"Thanks," Apple said. She believed him. There was no point in him lying.

For a long moment, everything was silent at the table. Apple merely looked at Sheena, to her hands, to the flickering candle, and back to him. What else could really be said?

"Say…" he spoke suddenly, his eyes fixed on the cup sitting before her. "Are you going to drink that cold?"

"No…" she spoke.

'Then maybe you should call it a night. I guess I should, too, if I'm not going to fight like a zombie. Or become one."

"That would be a new look for you."

"Hmm…I guess it would. Heh!" Sheena rose from his chair casually and smiled. "You go get some sleep, Apple. Staying up is just going to delay the inevitable."

"True…"

"Good night," Sheena spoke. As he walked toward the door, he raised his arm and waved without turning to face her.

"Good night…and Sheena?"

Sheena swung around to face her again, his eyes filled with anticipation. "Hmm?"

Apple smiled, raising her head slightly to look up at him. "If I don't see you tomorrow before you go…good luck."

He winked. "Heh. Thanks. You too."

His shadow disappeared into the darkness, leaving her alone in the candlelight.

Apple looked at her stone-cold tea. Strangely, much of her nervousness about the battle had subsided. In fact, when she thought about it, she realized that there was no point in worrying. Tomorrow would bring what it would. It seemed much easier to think that.

Who knows? Maybe by tomorrow, I will have come to my senses.

Though, in a small way, I hope not.

END


A/N: I started writing this some time in 1999 or 2000, though it was originally quite different, and, admittedly, wasn't very good. But I picked it up a few years later (according to the last save, 2005) and ended up with this - a much shorter, hopefully much better story. At that time I got it beta read and it was ready for editing, but for whatever reason I was never in the mood to fix it up. This summer I'm taking a break from my novel and decided to work on and finish projects I have like this - ones so close to finished that it's a shame I've ignored them for so long. Hopefully I'll get one more done before the end of August.