Life isn't all the great for those who try to get it all back,

My whole if I have been trying to find a mother who left me not the other way around, who walked right out of myself. Without evening truing back once, she knew what she wanted, knew what was in store for me. I wasn't a part of it, a beautiful ten year old, with her whole life ahead of her. My father wasn't that much of a help after she left either. He would go out to who knows where, comes back, slamming door, yelling at himself or talking to the wall.

I could never understand that man.

He got himself locked up in jail about two years ago. They wanted to send me off to a home, to live with another family to think that it all was OK. I wouldn't, couldn't live with something like that so I ran.

Ran far and deep with nothing to my name. No money, food, clothing or breath mints. Now that I think of it, I should have thought about this plan of mine more, should having been saving food and money before I jumped off the ship. Can't do a thing about it now.

So at this point, I'm homeless. One of those people you drive by on from the streets, point at, laugh at, or feel sorry for them. Do all three, I really don't care what people think of me by this point in time, they could go fall of a hill, or something.

No one should live like this. They should have too, only if I could go back in time and stop my mom.

There wasn't a point in feeling sorry for yourself, it was just petty. I don't regret running away, this is my life, my hope and dreams. I never wanted to make something of myself, I'm not smart. My father couldn't even pay for me to get though school all the way, I would have to teach myself.

On the streets, this is my home. With my people.

I didn't just run away without a plan, I am looking for somebody. Not just some random person but my mom. Where ever she might be, I am going to find her and we will become a family again. I'm going to ask her why she left, she better have a good reason for that.

I wasn't going to give up, this was my life now.

I wasn't sure where I was this week, somewhere in the U.S right now. Maybe, I think, wasn't sure at this point.

One thing I knew for sure was that I was hungry. More then that, I was starving here. Having not ate for who knows when, or how long.

Came to a stop looking around, I needed to find a place to eat. Or well somewhat bag for food for people who had no idea of who I was.

Well, thats life for you.

Looking around myself I see that around me there was huge houses. This must be the rich part of town, where people have some food to spare. Maybe some of them have a big heart also?

I'm asking for to much, wanting to much. "Get your head out of the clouds," I would whisper to myself. "Stat thing strait."

It was time for me to make my move, steep one 'pick a house.' I would go for the one's that have kids toys in the yard. People with kids have hearts, most of the time. Still I didn't get my hope up.

I found one on the other side of the street, I walked over without even watching where I was going. A car rushing by me, just steps in front of me, almost hitting me. I still didn't care, didn't care if I got hit. People would just send me to a hospital and I would get food without bagging, or paying.

Yes, that has happened before, more then once if that makes it better.

Slowly but surely, I knocked on the door thinking, someone has to be home. There was two cars in the drive way. I was safe.

I was hoping that they would have peace at mind, if they could give me some food. I am but a little girl, out here on the streets all alone, with no home or food. I still couldn't see why people would just turn their backs on me. Yet, still some people do more of them do then try to help me.

No matter what I am not going to start crying here. No matter what I start thinking, I chose this for myself. This is my life and I have to live with it.

"Yes? Can I help you?" A woman asked as if she was talking to a slave back in the time.

She wouldn't even open the door for me.

"Do you have some food on hand?" I whispered but just loud enough for her to hear.

The woman started to whisper to somebody. Not me, though. I couldn't make out what they were saying even with my great hearing. There were two people in there, talking about me.

How could people be so mean?

"Sorry, we do not. So you may leave now." It was a man's voice this time.

They weren't sorry.

"But, but-" What did I have to say? I was starving here. "Please?"

"No, but if you don't leave right now, we are going to call the cops!" The woman yelled, sounding scared to death, "Do you hear me?"

I slowly started to walk away, wasn't sure if I wanted to hear the rest of it. Not even wanting to hear it. Turning running, across the street onto a yard before I looked back to be for sure.

Putting my hand over my mouth, about to yell back to the house. This was getting me so mad so angry. They had no right to be like that, no truth in those words of their's I wanted to go back and hit them. I know thats big but still it didn't change the way I feel about this.

I started down the street hoping on one foot. Not that I was hurt but more like that, I wanted to make it look like I was hurt but still not being really hurt. Not like it was going to work people are just so mean in the U.S.

Looking around it was another chance to find the right house. Maybe a older one that maybe had a older people in there, if I could find one. You see, a older family would be more willing to help a young kid like me. Rather then a younger coulp or family, old people have more of hearts.

Thats another thing I have in my handbooks, first look for toys in the yard if that doesn't work go look for an older house.

Found one, it was rather an old, big house, with windows that would lean a bit in, and with flowers leading up to the door way. It was the best house to find in this part of town. I guess my luck has change.

Well, good for me.

I walked up and knocked at the door.

This time a old lady came out and meet me. She had long, golden/grey hair, wrinkles all over her face, around the eyes for the most part, a little big around the hips but other then that she was OK. I bet if I could have ever meet my grandma this is somewhat she would look like. Happy and with a good house.

"Hello?" Her voice was soft, like a whisper to me.

"Oh! Yeah, hello." I was stunned by this.

"Do you need something, dear?" She asked me, like what a mother would say.

"Yes, you see I have been walking around..." I started telling her my whole life story.

End of chapter1

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