Oh Brawl, I just can't seem to stay away from you. If you're looking for a dramatic story (like all of my other ones) filled with love, heart-wrenching confessions, the possible murder/suicide, then stop right here. I'm taking a break from those for now. I really need a distraction from the real world right now...

Introducing Spune: The Greatest OC That Has Ever Lived And Is Definitely Not Based On the Author

The Smashers all sat in the living room enjoying some quality television.

"And then this hippo just comes at me like a freakin bull." Red sighed as he watched the tiny orange creature with hair that defied gravity go on about yet another fight she had been in. He reached for the remote but cried out when his hand was smashed against the wooden tabletop.

Captain Falcon lifts his foot off the growling trainers hand, "Hey mate, I'm watchin' that! I need to find out if Jwoww's gonna get her ass kicked!" Red rolled his eyes as the racer sat back down in front of the television, eyes glazing over. He could practically hear his brain melting.

A small knock sounded on the front door. Being the curious... thing... he was, Kirby decided to investigate. Puffing himself up and floating to the peephole, in the cheater way that he does, he peers out. Standing on the porch is a young girl. But not too young, of course, probably around... Hmmm... Just throwing out a random number here, 18? Heh heh, idiots. They'll never catch on...

Kirby looks suspiciously around, "What was that?"

Nothing. What are YOU talking about?

Kirby continues to search the room, looking for the source of the mysterious voice. After a good fifteen minutes he completely forgets what he was doing. So he decided to go get a snack. Because that's all Kirby does. Eat. And occasionally swallow. But you have to convince him.

The door cracked slowly open. "Hello?" The girl called hesitantly. She stepped into the grand entrance, dragging a large suitcase behind her. She spots the rest of the Smashers in the living room and goes to greet them.

"Hi everyone!" She waves excitedly at the crowd of fighters.

"Who are you?" Zelda asks, raising one eyebrow. Snake bolted up and rushed towards the strange girl.

"You must be the h-friend, uh, I ordered-I mean called to come... Um... visit me! That's it! I'll show you my room, heh." Snake grabbed her arm and began pulling her towards the staircase.

"Friend? But I've never met you before! I'm the new Smasher!" Snake dropped her arm, turned bright red, and whipping a box out of nowhere, curled up on the floor under said box.

"New Smasher? I didn't know we were getting a new one. Who did you have to fight to get in?" Link asked as he and the rest of the fighters gathered around her.

"No one. I didn't even know I was coming until a few minutes ago. I was just receiving an award from the mayor for saving ten children from a burning building when all of a sudden, I was outside the mansion with only my luggage and a note saying I was to be the next Smasher." She said and smiled brightly.

"You didn't even have to fight anyone? Wow! You must be a great fighter! What's your name?" Ness exclaimed while jumping repeatedly in the air.

"Yeah, I guess so! I'm June!"

"June? That sounds familiar, isn't that the name of the author?" Roy said, scratching the back of his head confusedly. Suddenly, a gaping hole appeared underneath the flaming swordsman. He fell into the pitch black abyss, never to be seen again, his agonizing screams continued to echo well after he had disappeared.

"Did I say June? I meant... uh... Ru-no... hmm... Spune?" The girl sputtered.

"Your name is Spoon?" said Samus dryly, looking unimpressed.

"NO! It's SpUNE! Spoon would just be stupid..." Spune shouted at the metal-clad woman.

"Are you sure you're not based on the author?" The bounty huntress said skeptically.

"Of course not! Sure, we both have long brown hair and hazel colored eyes, but tons of people do! And there are thousands-no, millions of 3/8 Filipino, 1/8 Spanish, half Irish/German/Swedish girls from Northern California out there! And if I were based on the author would I have this rockin' body and set of huge, unrealistically proportioned boobs? Which are completely natural, by the way." Spune gestured to her model-ish figure. "I mean, no one ever in the history of FanFiction does that!"

"Sounds like a pretty convincing argument to me." Ike said, drooling at Spune's pure amazingness. Marth nodded enthusiastically. Spune giggled and waved flirtatiously at the two swordsmen.

The rest of the Smashers shook their heads in agreement.

"So tell us about yourself, Spune." Zelda asked her new best friend.

"Well, I'm just a simple girl, really. I was born in a small town and the village medicine woman proclaimed that I would grow to be the most awesome person alive, so the citizens threw a parade in my honor. They showered me and my parents with gifts and built us a new house made of solid gold. We lived there for my whole life, which was very modest, by the way. I never had everything, mind you, I mean my one year birthday diamond earrings were only 4 carats!" Spune blushed and laughed delicately.

"High school was a pretty difficult time for me, like everyone. I only made Homecoming Queen three times instead of four! But, I was voted Prom Queen all four years, even though that's impossible. But, I deserved it! And it's not like I was even the most popular girl in school. True, all of the boys, and most of the girls, wanted to date me, but I stayed focused on my studies! I learned so much in school, I especially loved learning about missionaries and scissors! I was quite a nerd, I think I spent one whole hour all by myself one Saturday! How embarrassing!"

The rest of the Smashers stared in awe at the glorious girl. The room seemed brighter, sounds more melodious, the very air tasted sweeter in her presence.

"Aw, you guys are so sweet to listen to boring, old me! I'm so tired from my long journey!" Spune yawned and stretched seductively. But she wasn't trying to. It was just her natural action.

Ash... Red jumped in front of her and flexed his wimpy muscles. "Do you want some water? I can get it easily with my Squirtle! He kind of just pukes it up, but I'm sure it's fine!"

Spune patted his arm and thanked him graciously, "Thank you, but I only drink water that was created especially for me!"

Spune reached into her backpack and pulled out a shining golden can. The Water of the Angel Known as Spune was printed in fancy lettering on the side. Spune pulled a small dagger out of her pocket and stabbed the side of the can. Tipping her head backwards, she shot-gunned the water like a champ. Tossing the empty can behind her, she burped loudly, rubbed her stomach and laughed a tinkling little chuckle.

"Now, will someone please show me to my room?" Spune said politely. The Smashers all shoved each other trying to get closer to the beautiful girl.

"I will!" Samus jumped up.

"No, me!" Link kicked the huntress in the head and stepped over her unconscious body.

"Fuck him! Let me show you!" Marth elbowed his way to the front of the throng.

Link glared at Marth for dropping the F-bomb. "How dare you say that in front of such a magnificent lady! You will pay!"

He drew his Master Swords at the same instant Marth drew his Divine Blade of Legends, or just Falchion for short. The two great swords clashed as most of the other Smashers were knocked backwards.

"I shall be the one to show her!" Marth exclaimed.

"Never!" Link shouted as the swordsmen slashed at each other.

Zelda pushed her way out of the dazed crowd and took hold of Spune's hand. "Follow me, those two are much too busy!"

"Okay!" Spune said as the Hylian princess dragged her upstairs. The rest of the Smashers yelled in anguish at seeing the angelic girl disappear around a corner.

How had they ever survived without her before?


Yay! First update of 2011! What's this? I actually wrote a comedy, not a drama? Crazy talk! Well, I hope it was at least a little funny for you! I just needed to write about something fun and happy.

Let me know what you think!

P.S. I hope someone as dirty as I am reads this, otherwise a lot of stuff sounds completely useless ;)