Grieving

EmberClan challenge.


It's all a game.

A game of betrayals.

But what can I do? I was already tangled in the web of lies, waiting for my enemy to approach me. I couldn't fight back, I could only see my enemy tear myself apart while I just look on with horror.

Why did my mother have to die? Why do I have to meet her?

I remembered the day when my mother died. The day when the sun no longer shone as brightly as before. The world wasn't as welcoming as before. The trees weren't as strong and big as before. Everything changed.

Her motionlessly body laid on the ground, mangled and torn. Her stomach ripped open, her life seeping into the soft earth. Her mouth was opened wide, her yellow teeth looking even more hideous under the sunlight. I stoned there, startled, not knowing what to do. My brain hadn't process what was happening, but my paws just carried me towards my mother.

I brushed past numerous cats. Those shrieks and screams of fear didn't even touch my ears. The scent of blood didn't flow into my nose. The images of cats jumping onto each other, tearing each other's flesh apart didn't make me afraid. The shock and the pain numbed me. They were the ones that made me feel afraid, helpless.

I halted before my mother, who was now just a bag of bones. I lowered my head, pressing my fur against hers. Hers were wet and soaked with blood, but I didn't mind.

"Don't be sad." Three comforting words that grabbed my heart, pulling it nearer to hers. The tortoiseshell apprentice just settled down beside me, placing her tail on my back. I snorted, who was she to poke her nose into my family matters?

"She died an honorable death. She died protecting our clan," the apprentice murmured, hissing at an enemy apprentice nearby. Her neck fur bristled, and she bared her sharp teeth. Unlike my mother's, her teeth were white. She unsheathed her claws, preparing to launch herself on the enemy. The enemy apprentice looked shock, before he turned and ran away, his tail tucked in between his legs. I watched as he staggered a little before disappearing in the forest.

"Terrible apprentice. One look at him, and I know that he's underage," the tortoiseshell continued, not caring if I am listening or not. My heart lightened a little as she gave me a comforting lick.

"Thank you," I mumbled. I guess she didn't hear me.

"I can be your friend. I will always be there for you, I promise," Fallowpaw mewed, her bright eyes boring into me. I shifted my body uneasily, before agreeing. I was never popular, and never had a best friend. I was glad that she's here by my side.

"Will you really be my friend?" I asked her, hope shining in my eyes.

"Really." That was all she said.

...

"Mother, I made a new friend," I smiled weakly, pulling my mother into a deep hole that I have dug earlier. "I finally made a new friend."

The leaves or the trees swayed along with the gentle breeze. I sat down, watching the leaves fall, landing soundlessly on the floor. I looked up, and spent the day watching the fluffy clouds pass by.

"Thank you," I whispered to the wind.

...

"Help me get Bluekit, will you?" Fallowpaw lifted her head up. I stood there thinking why she wanted the little kit. "Just go." There was this firmness in her voice that I dare not disobey. I ran to the nursery, and got Bluekit out, dangling in my jaws. I placed the kit down, and Fallowpaw let out a satisfied purr. "Good."

I padded away, lying down in my nest. I watched as Fallowpaw played mossball with Bluekit. They are having so much fun... All was peaceful. The warriors were out on border or hunting patrols, the queens were feeding their kits, the leader was having a little nap and the medicine cat was away gathering herbs.

I sneezed when a little leaf landed on my nose.

"Sorry!" Bluekit squeaked before getting the leaf away from me.

I rolled my eyes.

Maybe I shouldn't be so mean to Bluekit.

Because the next thing I saw when I blinked my eyes was Bluekit's corpse, his belly tore open like what had happened to my mother.

"Help..." The only difference was that he was still alive, still breathing.

My fur spiked up as I ran into the forest, finding the medicine cat madly. I leapt into every bush, hoping to see a golden pelt hiding in there.

I ran and ran and ran, and suddenly the dense undergrowth disappeared from my view. I glared immediately when the lake greeted me. The sight of it made me calm down. Is this a dream? I asked myself.

...

I comforted myself by making me believe that it was all a dream. My ears flattened as I entered the camp, the strong scent of blood in my nose. Shrieks of fear were howling in my mind. Bluekit is dead. He is dead. The voices said.

"She was the last one who had seem Bluekit!" The gentle, sweet voice that I had known so long became harsh, and sharp like thorns that pierced through my fragile heart.

"It wasn't. Really," I shook my head wildly as cats began to crowd around me, spitting, eyes full of hatred.

"I suspected you all along."

"I knew there's a problem with you."

"You don't even hang out with the others."

"I can't believe my eyes."

"Look at those sharp claws."

...

I don't remember how I escaped out of the camp, but the evil smile hidden behind Fallowpaw's lips etched in my mind.

"Well, daughter, she has always been like that. Remember dead Badgerkit? She killed him too. She's mad already. She's mad..."

I laughed wildly, "one day she will suffer retribution."

"She's already that pitiful..."

"No she's not, it's me who is pitiful!" I growled.

"Learn to let go..."

"Shut up!" I snarled.

I felt the world spinning around me, voices screaming in my head. Mother... Don't leave me...