If you were going to have your very first crush on a girl Astoria Greengrass wagered that Kirsty Allaway was a lovely place to start. She was a fellow seventh year. A Scottish Muggleborn with golden-brown hair that seemed to be preternaturally shiny. She was head girl for Hufflepuff. She was everything her mother and father hated and Astoria loved her for it.

Love? Oh, love was a strong word. But she fancied her, certainly. Also: she was a lesbian. But… she barely knew Astoria existed. At least, not until a Sunday early in May when Astoria took a chance and asked her out. Astoria was nervous but Kirsty said yes.

"I'm not out to my mum and dad. I want to be but…" Astoria said, enjoying the company of the golden-haired beauty who was walking with her to Hogsmeade.

"It's funny. I'm no out to my parents either. I dinna think people here are that fond of queer students but for me it's more freeing because I can be myself without… any o' the Muggle consequences I'd have back at home," Kirsty said.

"I guess that makes sense. I… don't know that much about Muggles," Astoria admitted.

"You think everything that's just happened woulda changed things. Most o' the world is filled with Muggles," Kirsty said.

"It might take a few generations. I'd like to think my children will be… more tolerant," Astoria said.

"I bloody hope so. Everything fell apart so fast. I think this whole hiding away from the world thing… it's nay good for anyone. Someday they'll find out about us. What will we say when they find out that we did nothing while they underwent great death and tragedy," Kirsty said.

Astoria didn't know what to say to that. Luckily they had reached the Three Broomsticks. Their date continued with less tense conversation. Instead they drank their butterbeers while Astoria tried to make Kirsty laugh, sneaking glances at her deep brown eyes.

Astoria felt more silly and confident on their way back to the castle. Kirsty seemed to be inspired by Astoria's silliness and sang a Scottish folk song, while Astoria swayed to the melody:

Green grow the rashes, O
Green grow the rashes, O
The sweetest hours that e'er I spend,
Are spent among the lasses, O

There's nought but care on ev'ry han',
In every hour that passes, O
What signifies the life o' man,
An' 'twere na for the lasses, O.

"That's Rabbie Burns, that is," Kirsty said.

"It's lovely," Astoria said.

"Aye. Well, he didna write the melody o' course. He borrowed it from an older song," Kirsty replied then sang more.

Green grow the rashes, O
Green grow the rashes, O
The sweetest hours that e'er I spend,
Are spent among the lasses, O

The warl'y race may riches chase,
An' riches still may fly them, O
An' tho' at last they catch them fast,
Their hearts can ne'er enjoy them, O.

Kirsty carried on until she'd finished the song and eventually she and Astoria collapsed onto the grass on the grounds of Hogwarts, the sun shining down on them. Astoria felt like she was in a dream. This didn't happen to girls like her. She wasn't cool or interesting. She was Daphne Greengrass's nerdy little sister.

"Have you ever kissed a lassie?" Kirsty suddenly asked.

"Me? No. I've never kissed anyone. Not that I wouldn't. No one's ever asked. But I keep my lips out just in case. You never know!" Astoria joked.

Kirsty chuckled then said, "I'm going to kiss you now, if you like."

"I would like. Yes. That would be nice," Astoria stammered and Kirsty rolled over, her lips falling right onto Astoria's.

Kissing was much nicer than Astoria ever imagined. She decided she had made a critical error by neglecting something so nice for so long and promised herself she would be doing more of it in the future.

Astoria was sad when Kirsty finally pulled away. But seeing Kirsty's smile made her want to smile too.

"I've had a nice time," Kirsty said.

Astoria grinned.

"Me too. Can I see you again?" she said.

"Certainly. I look forward to it," Kirsty said.


By the end of May they hadn't seen each other much at all. They were both busy with their N.E.W.T.s. And beyond that… Astoria didn't feel like Kirsty displayed that much interest in talking to her at all. She finally managed to get her to talk for just a moment in the library.

"Hey," Astoria said, smiling and trying to seem casual.

"Hey," Kirsty echoed.

"Haven't seen much of you lately," Astoria said.

"Aye. Sorry. I've been busy," Kirsty said.

"Um… I was wondering if maybe… This weekend," Astoria said, feeling her confidence waning.

"Nay. I dinna think I have time. I've been seeing someone else. I'm sorry," Kirsty said, looking apologetic.

"Oh. Umm… I'm sorry," Astoria said and immediately turned to leave.

Kirsty called something out that sounded apologetic but Astoria fled the library as tears fell down her face. She didn't know what to do so she went to the only friend she had found at Hogwarts recently: the Care of Magical Creatures Professor, Rubeus Hagrid.

She banged on the door to his cottage and he quickly answered.

"Astoria. What's the matter?" the large man asked as he opened his arms to her.

Astoria fell against him sobbing as he gently wrapped his arms around her, softly patting her on the back.

Once she was able to stop crying she explained the history behind her crush on Kirsty, which she called her cursed Kirsty crush, leading up to her final disappointment.

"I know a thing or two abou' disappointment. There's still someone out there I'm not over yet," Hagrid admitted.

"Really?" Astoria said.

"Oh, yes. Someday when yeh're my age yeh'll see that it doesn' get any easier. Yeh're heart still beats the same," Hagrid said.

The idea of Hagrid being as sad as she was now made her sad.

"Hagrid… the person you loved. What were they like?" Astoria asked.

"Hmm. Special. Very special. Tall, like me," he replied.

Astoria smiled. He seemed happy when he talked about her, not sad. He told of other people, of different genders, he had fancied before and Astoria listened with rapt attention. She told him that she was also bisexual like him and he seemed proud.

"Well, now, yeh should be gettin' back ter the castle," Hagrid said as Astoria stood up and went to the door of his cottage.

"I suppose so. Thank you, Hagrid," she said and gave him a hug.

"Anythin' for me favourite, Slytherin," Hagrid said, patting her on the back again.