INTRODUCTION: THE HATTER AND THE KUNOICHI

"Oh, Sakura, do hurry! We'll be late for the exams!"

"C-Coming, Alice!" A pink-haired kunoichi struggled with the zipper of her skirt, groaning in frustration, "Dangit! It...won't...CLOSE!!!"

A blue-eyed girl with long blonde hair peeked her head through the doorway, "Sakura, do you need help?"

"No... it's fine... I'll... get it...SOMEHOW!" She tugged at the zipper with all her strength, her fingers accidentally slipping off at the last moment, causing her to hit herself in the face.

Alice giggled at her teammate's misfortune, "Well, that's one way to get dressed... you look wonderful, now would you please come along already?"

Grabbing her headband and quickly tying it on, she followed her out the door, "Okay, okay, already! I'm ready."

A boy with curly white hair scoffed, "Girls... why, this is just plain silly! How long does it take just to put on a skirt?"

Sakura leered at him, clearly irritated (mornings were not a good time to have to deal with mad hatters), "You wanna find out?!"

He fixed his abnormally large hat ontop of his head, "Why, no, thank you. Skirts are just not my thing. I'd much prefer a hat, like this one! Isn't it just lovely?"

Giving a small smile despite herself, the cherry blossom rolled her eyes, "Yes, Reginald, it is. Now let's hurry to the chunin exams before we're disqualified."

----

"Geez, nothing's changed after all." Upon noticing the familiar genjutsu placed on the second floor, Sakura frowned.

Alice huffed disapprovingly, "What a dirty little trick. Come along, then. We'd best move on to the next floor."

Reginald blinked stupidly, "But for what reason? Can't you see that we're on the right floor?" He gestured towards the group of chunin-wannabe's at a door down the hallway.

Sighing impatiently, Sakura disspelled the genjutsu with a soft, "Kai!"

What appeared to have been the third floor suddenly morphed into the second.

Chuckling nervously, the hat-adoring genin rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, "Well! Would you look at that! We were actually on the second floor the whole time!"

The blonde placed her hands on her hips, "Yes - that's what we were just--!"

She was interrupted by the green-eyed boy rudely shoving her up the stairway, "Then what are you standing around here for?! Silly Alice, the third floor's this way!"

Sakura couldn't help but giggle at the hatter's antics. Meanwhile, Alice crossed her arms indignantly, "You, sir, are impossibl--!"

She tripped on the last step, bringing a flabbergasted Reginald down with her and accidentally ending up in a rather misleading position on top of her.

"Oomph! Alice, you clumsy littl--...!"

He paused, his oddly large, freckled nose a centimeter away from hers. Her wide, captivating azure eyes gazed dazedly into his own, and his hands were unconsciously placed on either side of her as their breaths melted into each other.

Time seemed to slow down... until...

Reginald shifted slightly, sniffing at her hair, "... you smell like pineapples..."

The incredibley awkward moment broken, she couldn't help but giggle hysterically at his random comment, ignoring the position the two were in...

"Are you two oka--?!" Sakura froze upon noting her teammates situation. Suddenly realizing what said situation seemed to be, the two sprung away from each as if they had been burned.

Fixing her bow, Alice chuckled suspiciously, "W-We're fine. Just a little fall..."

Sakura raised her eyebrows, 'Riight...' "...Whatever... let's just go sign in..."

The hatter and the blue-eyed kunoichi didn't speak to each other the rest of the way in.

---

"Sakura-chyan?!"

Her emerald orbs widening, said ninja whirled around, "Naruto?!"

The Kyuubi-holder beamed brightly, promptly glomping the girl, "SAKURA-CHYAN! YOU'RE HERE, TOO?! YATTA! WE GET TO GO THROUGH THE CHUNIN EXAMS TOGETHER! IT'LL BE JUST LIKE OLD TIMES NOW THAT--?! What the--?!?!"

"It is not very polite to tackle a lady like that, sir!" Reginald reprimanded, ripping Sakura away from a "WTF?!"-faced Naruto's clutches.

Naruto promptly exploded, tugging back Sakura with equal force, "N-NANI?! WHO THE HECK ARE YOU?!"

Grunting, the hatter successfully succeeded [for lack of better words, due to the groggyness of my brain... in pulling the blossom away, wrapping his strong arms around her protectively, "Who am I?! I, you pitiful excuse for a gentleman, am Sakura's teammate! Thus, only I am able to give her a warm, snuggly bear hug, thank you very much!"

Snorting [rather unladylike, and hopelessly attempting to force down the annoying twinge of jealousy tickling her nerves, Alice sternly chastised the hatter, "Now, Mr. Hatter! That is not a way to treat a fellow ninja." She curtsied at a bewildered Naruto, "My name is Alice Liddell. Please to meet you! Oh, and ignore the man in the ridiculous orange coat - he's rather mad."

She chose to ignore said tea-lover's angered cries of "Who are you talking to?! I'm not the one wearing an orange jumpsuit!" in the background

Blushing slightly, the blonde-haired boy giggled sheepishly, "Uh, hi--WAIT JUST A DARN MINUTE! You're her teammate?! Where'd you get a crazy idea like that? Sakura-chan's on MY team - Team 7 - with that teme and--!"

"Hn, dobe. Not so loud." Sakura gasped at the sound of a low, heart-breakingly familiar voice, blood pumping at a dangerous speed, 'Sasuke-kun...?!' "I just got back into Konoha - I don't want to be dragged out so soon."

"Sasuke... you're... back?"

He stared back at her blankly, "Hn. Sakura..." His eyes trailed downwards slowly before he sharply turned his head away from her, "... Hn."

Alice giggled, 'He was so checking her out...'

Thinking Alice had been giggling because she thought the Uchiha prodigy was handsome, Reg stepped forward, jealousy clear in his tone, "A-hem! Good day, sir. My name is Reginald Leopold Theophilus the Third, hatter extraordinaire, fully-fledged ninja, owner of an eight-pack, and esteemed tea maker in all the villages!"

Both Sasuke and Naruto's eyebrows twitched, 'What is with this guy?!'

Sakura mentally slapped herself in the forehead, 'Great way to introduce yourself, baka

Chuckling nervously, Alice bumped Reginald out of the way to curtsie at the raven-haired genin with a broad grin, "Ignore him! So, how exactly do you know Sakura? Old friend, teammate, lover, by any chance?"

This time Sakura literally slapped herself in the forehead, growling under her breath, "Alice, you idiot..."

Sasuke frowned, notabley annoyed with the strange girl's question, "...Teammate."

The blonde's face fell slightly, "...Oh... nevermind, then."

Swiftly changing the subject, Sakura spoke up, "SO, who is your third teammate?"

Before Naruto could even open his mouth, a green and black blur zipped into the scene.

"It is I, Rock Lee, Hidden Leaf's Youthful Lotus!"

Alice and Reginald wore the perfect definition of a "WTF?!" face.

The Mad Hatter sputtered out, "Dear God, sir! Have you no SHAME?!"

Alice awkwardly looked away when she noticed how very tight the strange ninja's outfit really was...

Sakura sighed, rubbing her rather broad forehead, 'Just when you think it can't get any worse"Hello, Lee-san."

"Sakura-san!" Lee's dark orbs lit up at the sight of his longtime crush, "And who are your new teammates?"

Alice, still staring to the right of her, politely curtsied, "Err... my name is Alice Liddell. How pleasant it is to meet you..."

Reginald grinned mischieviously down at the sickened girl, "Why, Alice! How very rude of you not to look at the gentleman you are bowing to! Distracted by a white rabbit?"

Narrowing her eyes, she retorted sharply, "How very rude it is of you not to state your name after Mr. Lee has politely stated his."

Clearing his throat dramatically, Reginald offered his gloved hand, back straightened, "Good day, Mr. Lee! My name is Reginald Leopold Theophilus the Third. What an absolute pleasure it is to meet you."

Snorting softly, Alice childishly stuck her tongue out at Reggie before crossing her arms and turning away.

"... I saw that, Miss Liddell."

She blinked at him demurely, "Saw what?"

"Alright, children," they huffed indignantly, "we'd better get going. See you in the exams, Lee-san, Naruto, Sasuke!"

"Good luck, Sakura-san!"

"Bye, Sakura-chyan! We should get ramen later!"

"...Hn."

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Hopefully coming soon:

Next chapter of Door to Darkness and Pineapples

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