Hey guys! A new story. I'm co-writing with the one and only AnOreoForElphie. She's won two Greg Awards and was willing to help me with this project. Hope you enjoy!


Emma- How are you liking your new phone, kid?

Henry-Well I was liking it but I started having problems with it so I went to Hook. He just made things worse :(

Emma- Why him? He doesn't know a thing about technology. Was he drunk? What did he do?

Henry- If I told you what happened, you'd be mad at me. Let's just say that the screen protector didn't work very well and we probably should have gotten the warranty...

Emma- ...

Henry- Hook told me to tell you he was sorry. He didn't know that the case wasn't crack-resistant...

Emma- Did he throw it thinking that would make it work? You know what. Tell him how to text... it shouldn't be that hard as long as he presses 'the Emma button.' (Don't ask.)

Henry- fine I'll text him and tell him


Henry- mom is mad and wants u to text her... now

Hook- which mom?

Henry- like my real mom...

Hook- oh. what does she wanna talk about, lad?

Henry- just text her.


Hook- what are you pissed about now swan?

Emma- What did you do to my son's phone.

Hook- oh yeah, about that, I can pay to get it fixed. How much will it cost? Like 20 dubloons? 30?

Emma- In this world we don't use dubloons, hook! What did you do?

Hook- no dubloons? How impractical. And I didn't do anything, my hook just impaled it. So 30 dubloons?

Emma- Impaled? How sharp is that thing?

Hook- sharp enough to impale a phone but not a brick.

Emma- You are getting a job and buying him a new phone! Understood?

Hook- don't tell a man what to do, Swan. It's bad form

Emma- How about breaking a phone? You will get a freaking job! Understood?

Hook- nonsense,Swan. I'll just exchange my dubloons for some cash.

Emma- I don't think you can do that! Just get a job. Maybe Ruby will let you be a bus boy at Granny's.

Hook- bus boy? I can hardly drive a car, let alone a bus. And I'm a man, not a boy.

Emma- it means working at a restaurant! Like cleaning off dishes.

Hook- whoa, Swan. My days of swabbing the deck are way behind me.

Hook- the bloody talking phone is dying. Sorry swan.

Emma- meet me at your ship. Ok?

Emma- ok?

Emma- killian?

Emma- your phone died. Of course.