Title: "Natural Change" (T)
Author: A6
Rating: T (romance) one shot
Summary: Changes come in big and small packages, and some changes are like no other and change a person forever. Even for Avatar Korra.
Notes: A one shot written for The Korra Connection's writing contests.
...
It was late spring and the humid, hot night that forewarned of a torrid summer ahead. Korra's sleep was fitful all that night, as it had been for many nights prior. She tossed and turned. No position was comfortable for her for more than a minute before she had to shift again. She was worried she was interrupting Mako's slumber.
But quickly she had another thought to the contrary. That Mako would simply sleep through her constant discomfort - without waking and being sensitive to her needs - upset her. Sleeping should not be excuse for him to not be there when she needed him.
And then pursed her lips as she thought with guilt, "Arrgh! Why am I even thinking that way? He's been nothing but sweet and supportive to me for months."
Even when he came home exhausted, he was there to help her. He was putting in so much time on the job as a Police Sergeant – promoted after only a half-dozen years on the force - and he wasn't even an earth bender/metal bender. Everyone knew they got all the good jobs.
She got even angrier at herself for her constant mood swings, being too often needlessly perturbed about the least little things about Mako that didn't used to bother her at all. Being married wasn't always a bed of panda lilies, but she knew in her heart that she was madly in love with Mako every day, and savored their marriage. Even this tough time, which still had so many good times associated with it. She smiled at the sleeping figure next to her. Why did the 'little things' nag her so right now? What was different now that wasn't before?
"Darn these emotional swings" she thought as she buried her face in the pillow – distressed now that sleep was still not overtaking her. She shifted again. It didn't do any good. She let out a low groan.
"If only I could sleep on my stomach, life would be good," Korra thought, knowing that was impossible now.
She thought how ironically funny it was that so many world crises had not really affected her sleep, at least not since the nightmares induced by Amon, but what was going on now – something so natural - had.
The physical changes in her were expected, but all the rest of the mental changes were completely unanticipated.
She remembered saying confidently to Mako only a few months ago, "I can handle this just like I handled everything else."
Finally she got up from the bed. Every bone ached, and every muscle strained. Joints popped. It felt like her normally taut and toned body was falling apart. Things had moved, things were bigger, and she couldn't get used to any of it.
It seemed like everything revolved around being near a bathroom these days, including some embarrassing near-accidents in mid-speech at the last two Council Meetings, which elicited giggles from her older female colleagues who knew all too well what Korra was experiencing.
She dodged the sick bucket at the end table next to their bed. Fortunately she hadn't needed that recently. The early advice she'd gotten from friends that 'the sickness' started early, but went away later, wasn't true for her. She'd been sick all the time.
Even food didn't taste right. Stuff she loved she now turned her nose up at, and she shocked Mako with some combinations that would curdle a buzzard-wasp's iron gullet.
All the counseling in the world from Katara in more than one desperate late night phone call didn't help Korra that much. Even Katara finally said in patience at Korra's exasperation, "Everyone's experience is different, my dear."
Korra's mother Senna tried to be supportive too, but phone calls and messenger hawk scrolls sent over the long distance just hadn't helped. And Mako, as good as he was, had to bear the brunt of all of it at its worst moments.
At the moment, in the dead quiet of the night and in her fatigue, Korra felt the weight of every ache and pain from the past few months. There was nothing like the experience itself to confirm everything she was told in so graphic a way.
Even the media had picked up the mood swings and short temper of the Avatar lately. When the headlines started with "Grouchy Avatar…" it had prompted Korra to write an angry editorial rebuttal letter that she fortunately trashed, after Mako advised her not to send it. Those headline allegations backfired when hundreds of women in the Republic City lashed back with their own letters to the editor about the natural changes in Korra and that it happened to them too.
She stood unclad at the mirror, disgusted with her looks. Even her softest lingerie was too tight, too constricting, and to rough to wear. It didn't bother Mako at all that she had to sleep that way, and made things easier for him through the months, one of the few things that she actually still felt good doing.
She looked pretty normal looking straight at the mirror, but then she turned sideways. There it was - huge bulge carrying Korra and Mako's first child. She was enormous eight and a half months into her pregnancy. She frowned, and the tears started. She felt like a beached leopard-whale, but not nearly as pretty as one.
"I'll never be the same, and I'll never regain my shape," she lamented to herself.
She startled, as Mako came from the darkness of the bed behind her, wrapped his arms carefully above her baby bump, kissed her neck, and said affectionately, "How is my beautiful pregnant wife this morning?" he whispered.
"Well, it's still the dead of night, and I feel anything but beautiful, Mako. Tired. Sore. Irritable. Fat. Bloated. Can't sleep. Other than that, I'm fine," she complained, but reached behind her to grab his neck tenderly, and smiled. They turned and kissed. It was just what she needed: reassurance from the man she loved.
"You really think I'm still pretty?" she asked tentatively.
"Absolutely, Korra. There's something really special about a pregnant woman," deliberately leading her.
Sensing that opening, she teased, "Oh? Perhaps my big…"
He interrupted with a smirk, "…Well, especially those, but everything about you. You glow when you smile, and your hips sway so nicely when you start that graceful…"
"Waddle?" she grinned.
They laughed heartily. They needed that.
"What can I get you?" he asked the familiar question.
He always asked that question. She smiled that he always cared, and despite the bad moods that the bio-chemistry of her pregnancy often put her into, she knew he always asked, and cared.
"That's sweet, City Boy. Right now, nothing, but thanks for asking."
"Like I've said, Korra. I got you into this, I will do my best to get you through it," he promised again.
She kissed him affectionately, and beamed that stunning smile at him.
Mako raised an eyebrow, "I know one thing you need – how about a neck massage?"
"Yes please," there was nothing that sounded better than that to her right now and he knew it.
She sat on the edge of the bed, cross-legged as best she could, and he kneeled behind her, and began to work a gentle massage pattern on her neck and shoulders.
"Mako, I'm worried," Korra sighed while enjoying the soothing work of his hands.
"How's that, Korra?" wondered Mako.
"I'm feeling so awful now, so helpless, and far too focused on just me; what if I have to fight as the Avatar while I'm still…this way?"
"It's been pretty quiet since Amon," Mako observed.
"True, but what if it happens? More importantly, how do I protect our child?"
"Never underestimate the power of an angry mother-to-be, as Tenzin once told me," and then caught his words, realizing what he just said.
"Oh? You've getting advice from Tenzin on how to handle me when I'm upset, Mako? Goin' behind my back, huh?" she said in mock anger.
"Uhhh…" he stammered.
She snickered, "It's OK, you don't have to say. Being upset is pretty much all the time lately for me. I'm sorry…"
They laughed.
"I kinda thought he was an 'expert' going through all those pregnancies with Pema and all those kids," Mako observed.
Korra nodded her agreement, "Well she sure has helped me along."
They were quiet for a few moments while he loosened another tight shoulder muscle.
"But I'm still worried, Mako. What happens after our baby arrives?
"Why Korra? It's such a natural thing. You'll be a wonderful mother. Look how you are with Tenzin's kids. Rohan thinks you're his second mother," He smiled.
"Well, I'm not supposed to be just like all the other women. I'm a woman who is the Avatar. I serve the world. How can I serve both well? It seems I'll have to short-change one or the other. Our child will need me so much - especially in the first few months. I'm worried that I can't be a good mommy or a good Avatar at the same time."
Mako was clear as he said, "Yangchen and Kyoshi did it."
Korra scoffed, "Those were simpler times. The world then wasn't as crazy. Things didn't happen as fast as they do now. They felt they could be safe and take the proper time for their child."
"How do you know that?" Mako puzzled.
Korra grinned, "Well, I asked them, and a half-dozen other Avatars who were women and mothers."
Mako shook his head, "Oh. Right. I forget you can do that. I always thought that you can only talk to them about world crises and all that."
Korra chided, "Being pregnant is often like a series of daily world crises, buddy. You ought to try it sometime."
They laughed again.
Mako worked seriously on her lower back, which was always in knots due to the baby bulge, "What did they tell you, though?"
Korra remembered thoughtfully, "It was kind of enigmatic: 'Love the world and your child each the same, and you will find the strength within you and from us to carry the burdens and the blessings of both'."
Mako smiled, "They're right you know. And one more thing. 'Trust your loving husband to care for you and your child when you feel like you have nothing left inside to give.'"
Korra was impressed, "Did Tenzin tell you that?"
Mako said proudly, "No I made it up myself. But I got inspired by watching him, Bumi, and their families."
"That is pretty good inspiration Mako, that's wonderful. OK, I'll do better at trusting and believing. You'll be there for me?"
"Always, Korra. I made that promise when we took our vows."
"I'm still not used to having someone love me as much as you do. I'm the one who's supposed to do all the giving."
"Get used to it Korra; I take 'loving you forever' seriously. Not to mention our baby-to-be. And siblings to come."
Korra went wide eyed, "Not so fast City Boy, let's get used to this one first."
They hugged.
Except for a few "Mmm's" in satisfaction from Korra as he worked the kinks out of her, they just enjoyed each other being close. As he finished kneading her aches out, Korra guided his hands elsewhere and much lower.
Korra leaned back into him and said quietly, "I know something that will relax us both."
"Are you sure?" Asked a cautious, but hopeful, Mako.
"Better to enjoy each other now than when the 3 AM diapers and feedings start," she kidded.
Mako laughed, "Natures perfect birth control: total exhaustion of the new parents!"
Relations between them was had always been very good from the start, but so late in the pregnancy, and knowing their lives would soon change forever in a good but challenging way, made this time one of the truly best of all their experiences, knowing they as a couple would soon become three as a family.
To Mako's great satisfaction, spooned behind Korra, she mercifully drifted off to sleep. He couldn't see the smile on her face, but with her hand on top of his on her stomach, he could feel his unborn child kicking her softly from within.
He whispered, "Hello little one. What changes will you bring to our lives? Will I be a good dad to you? It won't be long until you find out that you've got a great mother. And special like no other in the world. You're very lucky."
He knew 'her time' could be in fact any time. He looked at the door with the pre-packed materials to aid the delivery of their first child, and thought with comfort that her mother Senna and Master Katara were down the hall, and ready to midwife when the time came. He was always amazed at how much these women all loved each other, and how much they already loved the baby-to-be too.
For a moment he thought of one thing he would change if only he could. He had a bittersweet memory of his own loving mother, and how much he would have wanted her to meet this child and be proud of him and his life mate Korra.
He dozed off shortly afterward, knowing how much help Korra would need in the morning before he went to work. She may be pregnant, but that didn't stop the demands of the world each day on the Avatar.
That was one thing that never changed.
