Summary: It had never crossed Starscream's mind before on why Megatron never killed him or why he was, coincidently, the combined colors of Megatron and Optimus Prime. G1. One-shot, Crack-fic.

Disclaimer: If only, if only, the little plot bunny sings.

Image: Naps on the Moon by tabbykat

Rating: Teen.

It's quite a surprise I had.

When I found out who was my dad.

Starscream had noticed something recently. It was as if everyone was watching him. Yes, he was sure of it. Generally, this was a normal thing with him trying to over throw Megatron every other week, but this was different. It was as if everyone had heard a terrible rumor about him and were just waiting to see how long it took until he figured out what someone had said behind his back. The Seeker threw a glare down an adjoining hall as Rumble and Frenzy froze in place, stalling in whatever they were talking about.

The two cassettes stared at the red and blue Seeker for a moment with their mouths half open, catching in mid sentence. The two miscreants continued to stare at Starscream with this look of awed horror for a moment until Rumble fell over with a screech of laughter, quickly followed by his brother. The two continued to roll around in hysterical misery not even noticing that Starscream's optics had started to become a blinding red as his emotions turned toward rage.

"I'm … going … to step … on … you!" came Starscream's voice, vents hissing as he hurried over to the small mechs. He slowly started to rise up his foot, ready to step on the smaller beings and make them into mech mush.

It took a lot of struggling and gasping vents until Rumble finally managed to stop laughing. "I-if you step-p on mae' you'h will never know why momma's boy."

Despite the weird insult, his curiosity got the best of him. He had to know if there was some rumor going around, and yet, despite all his persistent pestering to his wing mates and downright hissy fits, not a word was spoken. In fact, they would either break into a fit of giggles or fall to the floor laughing themselves into stasis lock, while others would stare at him for a moment biting their tongue as if they wished to call him something but dare not.

"Well, squirt?" growled the flyer as he put his hands on is hips, throwing a glare down at the twin menaces, "Tell me why I shouldn't have stepped on you?"

Rumble slowly got to his feet and swallowed his laughter completely, "Well … I could tell you, but I would jus' hate to ruin the surprise for yah'."

The growl erupted through the halls with the fury of a dying sun, and Starscream raised his foot, ready to complete his threat. Yet, the terrible two merely just smiled up at him as if they had no fear of death … Starscream quickly stopped his foot and turned around knowing what was there.

Soundwave titled his head and stared at the air commander for a moment before stating in his cold, emotionless, voice, "Conclusion: wise decision. Objective: Megatron wants to see you … it's … important."

Starscream tilted his head in a questioning manner at Soundwave's odd paused, and also, the strange way in which the Communications Officer seemed to be throwing glances back at him as he walked down the hall towards Megatron's current location. It was easy to say that Soundwave's actions were worrying the flier. There was something up, and it wasn't the usual odd either. Yet, despite the strange feeling crawling around in the mech's processors, he followed.

Soundwave and Starscream came to a halt outside of the command station; there was a collection of loud murmuring from inside … and giggling. Yep, whatever was going on, the joke was on him.

"What's going on Soundwave?" hissed the Second in Command as he threw a cool gaze at his fellow Decepticon.

The blue Decepticon stared at the other for a moment, then his voice came out, soft and dripping in a manner unusual to the mech, "Reply: You consider yourself wise Starscream, yet you haven't figured it out?"

With that said, the door swung open with a mocking hiss … Starscream was barely given a moment to look away from the Communication Officer when he pulled out his null rays, hissing, "AUTOBOT!"

There, in his own shining glory, was Optimus Prime standing near Megatron's throne … wait, what? The flier put down his null ray and stared at the image before him, strangely noting that Megatron was neither dead nor trying to kill the Autobot commander. Instead, the Decepticon overlord was silently sitting on his throne staring at Starscream with a sense of … nervousness? Nah, that couldn't be it. Megatron was never nervous. Of course, he never would have allowed Optimus to be standing by his side, alive, either.

He hadn't stepped through a time warp, had he? Where was his 'Twilight Zone' theme music at least!?

"What's going on Mighty Megatron," mocked the flier as he took a cocky stance, optics directly on his leader. "Decide you couldn't take the war anymore and just surrendered to the Autobots?"

The grey bot huffed and was about to snap and probably would have gotten to his feet to beaten some respect in the mech before him, but Optimus put a hand on Megatron's shoulder. Starscream and a few other Decepticons and Autobots that were in the room, flinched, expecting all hell to break loose. Yet, nothing happened. In fact, Megatron actually placed a palm on top of the Autobot's in a comforting way, relaxing back into his throne.

The flier stared for a moment, his one optic twitching as his logic systems struggled to understand what was going on. Finally, his logic systems grunted at him that there was no logical to be made of this except for the fact that this situation was the pit. The flier quickly patted himself down, looking for any holes in his chest to reveal that he was really dead. There wasn't even a scratch. Starscream then turned his confused optics back towards the two commanders, "What is going on here?"

"Starscream," said his leader as he looked over the mech before him, Megatron's nervousness slowly being irritated away. "Have you ever wondered, even for a fleeting moment, as to why I haven't killed you?"

The flier huffed, momentarily forgetting Prime was still there despite the fact that the Autobot was staring at him with a type of anticipation.

"That's easy. It shows that you are a bad leader. That's why I should be leader!" snipped the mech.

Strangely enough, a smile drew itself on Megatron's face and his words were oddly mocking as he spoke, "Oh please, Starsceam. A young mech like yourself couldn't handle that much power anyway."

Starscream took a step back, his optics immediately locked on the two leaders in a manner of surprise and shame. Okay, it had been a dirty secret of his. He wasn't as old as he told everyone. He didn't even remember a time before the war. He was created during the war and that was why he would always be a Decepticon; he knew nothing else.

"So-so. I'm more than half the mech you are," snapped back the flier, trying to bury his hurt pride.

"Tuh, please. I know you are only half the mech I am," grumbled the ruler as Prime gave him a sadden look. "What?"

"Let me talk to him," said Prime softly as he directed his attention away from the sitting mech to the confused younger being.

"Tell me, Starscream. Do you remember much of your sparkling-hood?" said Prime, figuring that it would be best to start from the beginning.

A dry laugh escaped the flier.

"Please Prime, I was created by Vector Sigma. I wasn't carried like sparklings are," replied the mech. He wasn't one of those weak, bred, mechs that had soft spots for love and bonding. Ugh, the very thought of being a bond-created mech was just disgusting. Wrong, just wrong! Especially for the soon to be leader of the Deceptions. Besides, he couldn't be a spark created mech. That would mean that he was still a youngling and dependent on one of his parents. Tuh, perhaps it was Prime who had surrendered? He was a moron.

Yet, that certainty was quickly drowned when Prime threw a dirty look at the mech in the throne. He then leaned over, a discussion of angry whispers quickly following.

"What did you do? You said you'd take care of him."

"I have. I just couldn't take the crying. So I just upgraded-"

"How could you? No wonder his personality is all screwed up. His CPU wasn't completely –"

"Hey!" snapped Starscream, feelings of worry rising in his chest, panic ready to set in as he took a desperate step forward. "Don't act like I'm not here. What the pit do you two know? Primus, what is going on!"

The two older mechs were silent for a moment, exchanging glances. Megatron finally looked away from the Prime's demanding gaze and waved his hand as if saying, 'go ahead'. Optimus thanked the mech on the throne, softly, and took a step forward.

"Starscream look at your paint job for a moment," said Optimus, hoping to make this as easy of a transition as possible.

"Yah, red, blue, and white," said the mech, his CPU wondering where this was leading too.

"Whitish grey," corrected Prime, his nervousness starting to show. "What colors are Megatron and I?"

"I'm not color blind, Prime," added the mech, an irritated flavor in his voice. "Get to the point."

"Well, Starscream," said Optimus as he shrugged his shoulders. "Megatron and I have been keeping a secret from you, but we've decided it was time to tell you … for a collection of reasons."

"Tell me what?" said the Seeker suspiciously as he tried to remain still. Everything in his body was telling him to run, get out of this situation before it grew out of hand. Once this happened, there was no taking it back, no hiding from it. Yet, despite this feeling, his pride wouldn't let him leave.

Optimus locked optics with the SIC.

"Megatron and I … are your creators," said Optimus softly, offering a hand outward to the youngling before him. "And I've come to take you home to the Autobots. Megaton and I agreed that we'd have duel custody when you were born, but at separate times. He took you for half of your childhood, and I am to have the other half until you reach adulthood. You are now halfway through your childhood so I've come to take you with me."

The flier moved his lips for a moment, unable to get any words out. Then, without even a tint of warning, the Seeker swayed on his feet and fainted, a dull clang echoing over the room. The two parents exchanged worried glances before a nervous chuckle escaped the Prime.

"W-well that went better than I expected," said Optimus. "Let's have another one."

Ironhide had the unconscious flier draped over one of his shoulders, Bumblebee supporting the 'youngling's' other side as best as he could. His processors were still trying to get over the whole ordeal … especially when Megatron all but dragged Prime into his private quarters, Optimus crying out that he'd be back in a few hours.

"So-so Optimus and Megatron are mates?" murmured Bumblebee in a slight daze.

"Yep," said Ironhide.

"And Starscream is their creation," said the young yellow mech in all but a squeak.

"Yep," said Ironhide.

The little mech's optic shivered in setting as he struggled to keep certain kinds of images out of his head. But, despite himself, he continued, "So … why is there a war then?"

A dry chuckle escaped the older mech, a wicked grin on his face as he looked directly at the younger mech which would probably be bunking with the 'other' youngling on base now.

"Oh, Bumblebee, everyone knows that half of the war is about who gets to be on top," said Ironhide.

XXX

Paw07: Couldn't sleep so I decided to finish up your guy's second 'voted' one-shot, the poll is still up for those of you who still want to vote. Anyway, hope you were all as traumatized as poor Starscream. Yet, the thing is, I found myself really liking this idea. Well, at least Starscream's behavior once he would be taken home with his other parent; that would be fun and awkward. Try to imagine be tucked in by your 'worst' enemy every night. XD