Disclaimers: The characters in this story are copyrighted by Warner Brothers and Shoot The Moon Productions. I make no money from these characters; I simply like to share their world for a short time.
A/N Just a little glimpse into Amanda's thoughts on her life and relationship with Lee. (Constructive reviews are always welcome. Let me know if I should tackle a few other letters of the alphabet!) A special thanks to Bruce Boxleitner and Kate Jackson—as well as the rest of the cast—for portraying these characters so wonderfully.
Fate. Now there was a word worth considering. Was it fate that had landed her at the train station on the morning of October 3, 1983? Was it the same fate that had put Lee there at exactly the same time and desperately in need of help? She certainly wasn't expecting to meet anyone but Dean that morning—certainly not a handsome 'spy.' All she had on under her coat was a nightgown, for goodness sake.
What about the fate that had placed a Shriner's convention on that particular train on that particular morning? She'd never seen so many men in red hats!
Plenty of other people's fates were in this crazy mix, too. If her mother hadn't been addicted to Mrs. Welsh's cooking show . . . If Francine hadn't been an absolute disaster in the kitchen . . . If her boys hadn't messed with the package . . . If the Junior Trailblazers hadn't taken that field trip to the TV station . . . If she hadn't shown up at the right house at the right time . . .
She just wasn't going to think about it. If all the fates hadn't aligned just right, Lee would probably be dead. And that just wasn't a fate she was willing to consider.
Family. Her mother and her boys were her world. Without them, she didn't think she could exist. There was a time that family also included Joe. But he had chosen to leave them behind when he went to Africa. It saddened her to think about it, but the boys had simply been too small to even consider living in those primitive conditions.
Lee didn't have any family. Well . . . unless you counted the Colonel as family. While he and the Colonel both tried to pretend that they didn't care about one another, she knew that deep down they loved one another. But they certainly had a funny way of showing it. And in the day-to-day rhythm of life, they might as well live on separate planets.
She wished that she could have met Lee's parents. Their untimely deaths were such a shame.
She wished that Lee could have met her father. He would have loved Lee just as much as she did, she was sure.
Could she someday become family to Lee? Could he become part of her family? Only time would tell. It certainly would be wonderful if it were to happen. And it was something she definitely wanted to think about!
Fear. Before she met Lee, she really didn't know what fear was. Oh, sure, she always feared something might happen to one of the boys or her mother. And she definitely feared scary movies—none of them for her! But working with Lee and the Agency had taught her a new meaning of the word. She had been tied up, drugged, kidnapped, shot at, etc., more times than she could count. Fear certainly accompanied all of those cases.
When she thought about it, however, she realized that she had actually conquered much of her fear. Now how had she managed to do that, she asked herself.
That's when another word came to mind . . . Lee. He was the exact opposite of fear. His confidence—not to mention his smile—was contagious. When she was on a case with him, fear took a backseat. He always managed to come riding in on the proverbial white horse to rescue her. He was the knight in shining armor to her damsel in distress.
Come to think about it, she wouldn't want it any other way!
Frustration. A big word caused by a much smaller, three-letter word . . . Lee. He was the sole source of her frustration at the moment. Actually, for quite some time now.
One minute he was yelling at her . . . or arguing with her . . . or telling her to stay in the car . . . or letting Billy know that he didn't want to work with her and DEFINITELY didn't consider her his partner. In the next breath he was looking at her with those incredible hazel eyes . . . or smiling at her with those dimples of his . . . or touching her . . . or hugging her . . . or kissing her hand . . . or tapping on her kitchen window . . . or requesting her for an assignment . . . or . . . The list could go on and on!
She had never met someone like him. Well, of course she had never met a 'spy' before. But he was an enigma—a six foot two study in contradictions.
There were times when she sensed he might be as frustrated with her as she was with him. If they ever decided to move their relationship to the next level, she liked to think the frustration would end. Or maybe it would just take on a different meaning. Okay, Amanda, she thought . . . time to get your mind back on safe ground!
Flowers. Her mother simply loved to garden. And she thoroughly enjoyed the bountiful harvest. There was always a full vase of flowers of some variety or another on the table in her breakfast nook. And many times there were enough extra to take to the Agency to brighten up her desk. While Dotty was the force behind them, she often did much of the work. Or at least she had until she started working all those crazy hours! The life of a 'spy' was never simple.
Luckily Dotty had picked up the slack, and the flowers didn't seem to be suffering. Well . . . except for the ones directly under her kitchen window. It seems that a certain six foot two, hazel-eyed variety kept popping up in that particular flowerbed. It definitely wasn't a weed, but it sure was trampling the beautiful blooms there. Even the Ferguson's dog wasn't that destructive.
While her mother continued to believe her story of the wayward dog, she was certain that excuse would soon wear thin. She would need to come up with another plausible reason for the destruction, for whenever it rained, the imprint of Lee's size 12 shoes were clearly visible. She would have to give that new excuse some thought—and soon.
Future. Just what would it hold? Her boys were growing up so fast. Before she knew it, Phillip would be headed to college, with Jaime not far behind. At one time she had thought her future would include Joe King, but that wasn't meant to be.
A few years ago she had certainly never imagined—not even in her wildest dreams—that she would be working as a 'spy.' Sooner or later she was sure that her mother would learn the truth about her occupation. It was getting harder and harder to invent those little stories she kept telling Dotty. But that confession was in the future.
A few years ago she had certainly never imagined meeting someone like Lee, either. If her mother only knew about him! No . . . that was a confession she really didn't want to make. It would only open up a whole new line of questioning for Dotty. She had had more than enough of those types of questions when she was dating Dean. Besides, did her future include Lee? Should her future include Lee?
Now that was a silly question. She couldn't even begin to think of a future that didn't.
