AN: So, this is my collection of Buffy: the Vampire Slayer story beginnings I have started and worked on through the years. As you will see, my heyday was around 2005, when I was suffering from my first ever break up. It's amazing how much angst can inspire you!

Anyway, I have read and reread and written on all (or most) of these, but have primarily lost all of my motivation to continue with them. However, if I ever suddenly get a deluge of inspiration and continue on with a story, I shall make note of it at the top of the story and repost it as its own story.

What else was I going to say…? Oh yeah. I've decided to keep the names of the files of the stories intact, so you can get a glimpse into how my mind works. Mostly, the names have nothing to do with the story, but some lucky few do. You see, I wanted to write at least one story (or file) with every letter of the alphabet in my Buffy folder, and so as new stories flowed from my fingers, I saved the files under whatever letter I hadn't already used alphabetically. Odd, I know. *grin*

And yes, I included ALL of the stories and beginnings I wrote (at least, the ones on my computer. This does not include the many, many, many stories I wrote out in hand and have squirreled away in notebooks somewhere in my room). I wasn't too shy to include any, no matter how stupid I think they are, or how they might not have any redeeming value. Of course, the ones I'm still interested in (posted or not) are not included. They're special. *grin* Well, not really, but they're closer to my heart.

These stories range wildly from logical to oh so insane. I have a very strange mind that provides new ideas for stories almost constantly, and if I think there's enough merit to it (or I'm feeling particularly silly) I go ahead and write it down. Besides, everyone knows that if you love a particular character, you must treat them horribly. :) Just, a little warning.

Most of these stories are Willow/Tara in nature, but I have noted where there is a different pairing. And yes, I am a femslash writer, so you know what to expect. Also, if it isn't obvious, I mainly focus on Willow Rosenberg. No, really. :p

These first few ones are the ones that actually managed to pass the one page mark! Wow. Even if some just barely accomplish it. *grin* The shorter ones shall follow. So, enjoy, and I hope this amuses you at least a little. I do not own Buffy: the Vampire Slayer nor the characters within.


1/17/05

Coping

*

It wasn't that she hated her life. No, it was just that she didn't have any direction to go in. Direction. God, she hated that word. It was the type of word that her mother would use with her clients. Along with self control and pride. Coping. Oh, God, that was another one. Willow just didn't know how to cope with herself.

Damn them. She too knew how to cope. She just did it inwardly. When Jesse died, she didn't grieve, did she? Nope. She and Xander moved on. It almost made her sick to see how easily Xander had gotten over their childhood friend. Was she the only who had cried for his lost life at night? Ached for his familiar hugs and reassurances?

When he wasn't chasing after Cordelia, Jesse had been the one who had noticed Willow's moods and feelings. Well, better than Xander did, anyway. Was it really so easy for Xander to get over his friend because Buffy was there? He was the one who drove the spike through Jesse's chest, after all. Well, that had been because someone had run into the two, but still. She couldn't believe Xander could be that cold.

Heh. What did that say about her? She didn't seem to care that Amy's mother was gone, trapped somewhere. She didn't seem to care that Principal Flutie was gone, either, and he had been so much better than that snake Snyder. Or that Jenny was gone. Or that her Vampire Doppelganger had killed someone in the Bronze just to prove a point.

No. Willow sighed. She did care. She was just bitter. Bitter over everything. She just didn't want to deal with the massive amount of guilt that would pile up on her if she let it in.

Making up her mind, she reached out and shut off her bedside lamp, pulling the covers of her bed completely over her. Tomorrow, she would talk to her. And get some answers.

She didn't know what she would do if she didn't.

***

Anya was walking down the halls of Sunnydale High, having just escaped the idiotic babble of Harmony and the others, when an arm suddenly reached out and grabbed her, yanking her into a deserted classroom.

"Hey, hey!" she screeched, whirling around so she could see her captor, still jumpy after the Vampire Willow incident. "Well," she rolled her eyes, seeing who it was, "What do you want to do? Mock my frail human body? Go ahead, shouldn't hurt."

Willow Rosenberg just frowned at her. "What? No. This has nothing to do with you! Well, it does. Obviously. Seeing as I pulled you into here, after all. Anyway," the redhead shook her head, her red hair fanning over her shoulders, suddenly lunging forward, knocking the ex-demon's books from her grasp, "You have to help me!"

Anya snapped, "Hey!" pulling her arms away from the other girl's hands, "Why'd you do that for? I'm going to have to pay for these if they're harmed." Muttering under her breath about stupid Wiccans and their disregard of the importance of saving money, Anya ignored Willow's babble as she dusted her books off and set them onto a free desk. Seeing that they weren't harmed, she turned her attention back onto the teenager.

"-And I don't understand why this has happened, and it seems that it's all because of that spell we did – you know, the one that brought my icky counterpart here to terrorize the neighborhood – and I just don't know what to do! I looked back over the spell and all the ingredients we used, but it still shouldn't have backfired on me like that. And why didn't it backfire on you??"

The brunette held up her hands, trying to stop the flow of words from Willow's mouth. "Okay, hold on here," she said pointedly, "I'm going to be late to Math, which, by the way, I'm flunking, so you better tell me what you're babbling about before I get really angry. Believe me, if I still had my powers, I would…" She trailed off, pasting a smile on her face. Looking into the hacker's eyes, she said, "Well?"