A/N: Look at me go!
The creativity well has opened and I cannot stop. I wanted to write a multi-chapter oneshot collection so my motivation could die, but the story wouldn't. But I decided to challenge myself and write something different. So, here it is!
A slight warning, if the T-rating had a scale, this would rank the highest. Just in case you're expecting something more mild. It shows slightly here, but come future chapters, that will change.
Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own Persona 5. If I did, Ren would have stayed with Papa Sojiro and not made him cry T-T
His Sins
Wrath
Ren could summarize his feelings for school into one word:
Hate.
He hated being the talk of the school. He hated that all the rumors were false, most of them completely insane. He hated how the teachers even called him out for not knowing the answers to their questions, and hated the quiet laughter from his peers. He hated how he was told to stay away from the only friend he made, because said friend was a terrible person. What he hated the most was that he was the criminal, and not that damn Olympic bad ass teacher who beat the shit out of his players.
But while he hated many aspects of his new life in Tokyo, there were a few good things. He got to eat amazing curry for breakfast every morning. He made a friend. He felt like he could make a difference when he learned about the Metaverse from Morgana. And best of all:
He met his dream girl.
He met her about a week into school. He wanted to study, as he was behind in most of his classwork due to his transfer. He found his way to the library, where he thought he could sit in silence and get some work done. The rumors had started almost immediately when he walked in, but thankfully, there were only a handful of students. He could have ignored them easily enough, he thought. He sat down at the closest table, his back to the room so he would not get distracted with their conversations. He pulled out a book from his bag just as he heard one student in the background.
"Who does he think he is, sitting at the president's table?"
He tried to ignore it, but he couldn't help but be curious. Had he taken someone else's seat? Should he move somewhere else? The last thing he wanted was for someone to hate him for something as simple as studying at a table he was unaware was claimed property. With or without said person present to claim it.
Ren heard the door open and close and he could have sworn the room behind him disappeared. It was so quiet that he actually had to look around to make sure he was still in the library. The students around him looked at him with intrigue. Like he was about to come face to face with a pissed off person who was going to pummel him into the ground when he turned back around.
Not like he had ever experienced that…
When he looked toward the person who entered the room, all he could think was Oh, she's super cute. I hope she sits with me! However, one of the male students who sat at the table behind him jumped to his feet. It scared the hell out of Ren.
"Hey, Nijima-senpai, that criminal is sitting in your seat!"
Ren fought hard not to sink into his chair. He slowly covered his face with his left hand, his glasses digging into the bridge of his nose. He attempted to return to his work and not to feel at all ashamed for being called a criminal in front of a pretty girl. It felt very tense in that moment of silence, and he was pretty sure any chance he had at talking to this girl had gone out the window.
"Please, keep your voice down and return to your studying." Her voice was calm, but her tone was very sharp. It cut the tension in the air like a knife, and the boy replied with a shaky "yes ma'am" before he sat back down.
Ren would have noticed that he was no longer the talk of the library, but he was much too drawn into the girl that stood before him. She took the seat across from him and placed her bag on an adjacent chair. She did not seem fazed at all that she sat across from the notorious criminal. Nor did she seem upset that he had taken her spot.
He braved speaking to her. "Would you like me to go somewhere else?"
When her gaze met his, he noticed that her eyes were so dark, they were almost red. He tried to not be intimidated.
"It's quite alright."
He wanted to say something else to her, but between the look in her eyes and her looks, his voice died in his throat. So, he decided to try and catch up on his schoolwork.
He failed miserably.
-0-
A few weeks after he met Makoto, he returned to the library to find her already there. Being bold, he pulled out the same chair he sat at the last time they had shared a table. She did not look up from her textbook. He sat down in his seat and slid up to the table. In an effort to gain her attention, he hit his foot against the center support like he slid into it by accident, which caused the table to shake enough to startle her.
"Sorry," he said, because he realized he had nothing else to say without sounding like an idiot. She looked over at him, her eyes sending a small jolt of fear down his spine. He made a mental note not to do that again.
She went right back to her notes and books. He wondered if she was scared of him, like the other ninety-nine percent of the school was. But as he watched her, she did not seem to show any signs of nervousness. In fact, she appeared to be very dedicated. And smart, he assumed from the pile of books she had on the table. And cute.
And very aware he was staring at her. "Did you need something?"
His eyes widened briefly and he hoped that she did not see his blush. "Oh, no. I'm sorry."
"Then why do you keep looking at me?"
Shit. If his record wasn't enough of a reason for her to distance herself from him, well, she might have one now. He was probably coming off like a creep. He couldn't just come out and tell her that she was cute, but he knew he had to say something to her. She didn't appear to be the type of person who would let something slide.
"I was just impressed with how dedicated you seem to be sitting across from a criminal."
She looked at him in confusion, and Ren thought that maybe she didn't know who he was. He was under the impression the entire school knew about him. How was it possible that this adorable girl did not? He couldn't have gotten that lucky. But on the off chance that she really didn't know, he had just told her. And now she would be afraid of him. And now he wouldn't be able to talk to her again.
But she simply flipped a page in her notebook, unimpressed with his comment. "Criminal or not Amamiya-kun, if you keep bothering me, I'm going to ask you to leave."
He had to fight back the bubble of laughter that threatened to escape his lips.
-0-
When he saw her at the library the next day, he was not feeling the same way. In fact, he was pissed. Not at her, but at everything. He was so angry that he stormed into the room, planning to use studying at the library for a different motive. While he wanted to prove he was a normal student, who studied hard and enjoyed learning, he could do that anywhere. The student body wouldn't see him anywhere else unless they all showed up for Leblanc's busiest dinner rush ever. He wanted to shove it in all of their faces when exams came around and he surpassed them all. Hence why he chose the library.
Meeting her just gave him the motivation he needed to keep going.
He dropped his bag on the table that had naturally become his spot. He fell into his chair and grabbed his materials from his bag. He had been loud, and angry, and it caused the entire library to fall silent. Good. Let them be afraid.
"Would you please consider those around you if you are going to use the library?"
He bit his tongue, because he almost said something that would likely have gotten him in trouble. He muttered an apology under his breath, which angered him even more because why the hell was he sorry? He might have been sorry for disturbing her, but not anyone else.
It was quiet, thankfully, while he caught up on his homework. He paused to stretch his hand from time to time, realizing that he had been gripping it tightly while he wrote. At one point, he snapped his pencil in half. He was tempted to throw the fragments across the room, because teachers could throw chalk at him and get away with it!
"You seem troubled."
He once again bit his tongue. She reached into her pencil case (he found the thing adorable) and offered him another pencil. He did not take it.
"I'm done for today. Thank you." He threw his papers and books into his bag and stood up, his chair loudly scraping against the floor. He was halfway out the door when he felt a light tug on his wrist. He was expecting to be reprimanded for his less than graceful exit, but instead her voice was quiet and laced with concern.
"I will make myself available if you need to talk about something."
It was a very tempting offer. Not only could he get all his pent-up anger off his chest, he could have a conversation with a girl he may or may not have a crush on. But he was far too angry to take that challenge with any success at the moment. Maybe some other time.
"I'm okay."
But he was learning that she was a very persistent person. "The student council room is right here if you want to talk."
He took a deep breath and figured what the hell. Why not just ruin the non-existent chance to maybe take this girl out in the future? Why not just ruin any last remaining good qualities she might see in him? Why not just make his day more miserable than it already was?
She guided him into the room next to the library where she gestured for him to sit down. He took his seat and watched her do the same. He tried to cover up any anxiety with a smile.
"This is a nice room," he said to break the tension that was crushing his soul. It helped him to breathe better, but his anger was still fighting to come out. He couldn't yell in front of her. A perfect gentleman did not yell at ladies, no matter how angry they were. Besides, how wonderful would it be if someone overheard him yelling at a girl? Like he needed more rumors going around about him.
"I know your transition from a small town to a large city must have been difficult." He almost laughed at that. Because that was why he was sitting across from her. She continued, almost as if she had read his mind. "And I know that our peers have not been the kindest to you."
He remained silent, his smile fading for a second before he forced it back. "I wasn't popular at my last school either. It doesn't bother me," he lied, his hands balling into fists on his knees.
"Well, as student council president, I cannot let this go."
Before he even knew what he was doing, Ren stood up and walked out of the room, slamming the door behind him.
-0-
He avoided the library for the next few weeks like the plague. Hell, he tried to avoid Makoto like she was the plague. Sadly, she seemed to have other plans. He caught her following him around Shibuya almost every day after school. He had to assume she was looking for information on the Phantom Thieves, but she was doing a terrible job playing spy. Either that, or she had fallen in love with him and was simply waiting for the right time to tell him.
He assumed the former.
After a few days of ignoring her, however, he started to grow irritated. He accidently ran into her at the bookstore on Central Street one day after a short shift at the convenience store. He found it humorous. He always imagined his "dream girl" having the same fascination for books that he had.
"Interesting to see you here, Nijima-senpai." She jumped and turned quickly to face him. "How odd to run into you outside of school."
She gave him a look that would have once scared the hell out of him. "And why would you be here?"
He felt something stir inside him, not in a good way. "Oh, I like to find good books I can read while following the love of my life around Tokyo. You?"
Her eyes widened, but she quickly regained her composure. "I see." She looked away as if she was embarrassed. He wanted to laugh. "Well, if you'll excuse me, Amamiya-kun, I need to return home."
He stood in front of her. "Hm, you sure? You don't need to see me go to the arcade, then eat dinner at Big Bang? Because who knows, maybe I'll do something remarkable. Like finish that Big Bang challenge. I hear that's a criminal offense."
While his voice remained steady and calm, he was all but steady and calm on the inside. She stared back at him, confused and maybe even slightly afraid.
Good.
He kept going. "Because I mean, studying hard and trying to be a respectable student only gets you placed under a fucking microscope, but a teacher can beat the shit out of his team and sexually assault every girl at school and be worshipped like a god!"
He paused to calm himself. In his rant, he had forced Makoto back against a bookshelf and trapped her with his arms on each side of her head. He punched the shelf once, which caused her to jump. It was nice to see her afraid of him.
He may have been slightly afraid of himself.
"And yet, they insult me further by sending the worst person for the job to keep tabs on me." This time, he did laugh. "I mean, I would have thought with how diligent you are in your studies that you would have at least studied how to stalk someone without getting caught!"
She broke his gaze and looked down at the floor, her mouth opening once to say something before she wisely closed it. He saw how white her knuckles were from gripping the book she held against her chest. He had said enough. He probably scared the hell out of her; she sure looked terrified. Well, if the school wanted to paint him as a monster, then he would be one. Maybe then they would leave him alone.
"Now," he said after backing away from her. "I don't want to see you following me around again."
"I-," her voice cracked, and he felt a pang of regret. "I wanted to help you, or at least offer myself as someone you could talk to."
"No, Makoto." He used her first name in defiance. "You never cared about me. You were just doing your job."
My original intention for this story was to do sequential oneshot based stories in which Ren gets jealous of the lack of attention from Makoto. But after writing a few, it got harder. So without changing any actual content, I changed the theme. And it has been working better. I think.
Regardless, I am a very angry individual, so I think maybe my anger came out too strong and made Ren too angry. But you push a quiet person for so long, they are going to snap. So I feel justified.
The next chapter is undergoing some work and proof-reading, but I hope to have it out soon.
His next sin: Pride. Because who really thinks he is beneath someone like Tsukasa?
Until then, the dragon rests.
龍の神様
Thank you for reading!
