Wassup yo!
So I was thinking about how Hiccup had a crazy amount of ships and I thought:
"I should totally write a saga about this"
And here it is. The epic saga of romance.
Also I'm gonna start calling him Hiccup Horrendous Harem now.
And in case you are so retarded that you can't figure from whose point of view this is written, it's Hiccup's.
It all began here...
The Epic Saga Of Hiccup Horrendous Harem's F*cking Crusade
I woke up one fine sunny day
To the clear sweet song of the mockingjay
I f*cked my dog and f*cked my cat
And I f*cked Lincoln in his top hat
I ate some bread made from rye
Then I frenched my sexy ma goodbye
I made my way out to the marketplace
Where I f*cked a guy who was selling plaice
I fed the plaice to my toothless dragon
Whom I later f*cked in a horse-drawn wagon
I met my girlfriend
And I f*cked her too
Then I f*cked the Ice Queen till my lips were blue
I met a redhead who'd bows and arrows
So I f*cked her and her frizzy 'do
I met a burglar
With wild blonde hair
I would've f*cked her
But I didn't dare
For one of her fans was standing near
Holding a gun up against my ear
And she hissed:
"Run along ya lil' c*nt
Or I'll have your head as a ball to punt!"
So run I did
Untill I came
To a hidden tower
That had no name
I climbed the tower
And soon I found
A maiden fair
With the longest hair
And because I'd nothing else to do
I f*cked that pretty maiden too
I left the tower
And bumped into Jack
The guardian of winter
He'd sprained his back
On a wooden splinter
So I f*cked him
And went back to Berk
Where I met Snotlout
A massive jerk
So I f*cked him
Then went away
And I met Fishlegs
Down by the bay
I f*cked his fat a*
Then f*cked the twins
Who had some sass
I f*cked Eret
Hunter of dragons
He usually lived
In station wagons
I f*cked young Heather
And her brother Dagur
And as an afterthought
I f*cked Elsa's sister
And very soon
I f*cked my way up
Right to the moon
On my way up
I f*cked a balloon
And when I got there
I f*cked the Man in the Moon
Thus here shall end my f*cking crusade
To my dear reader, goodbye I bade
Unless you'd join
My f*cking crusade
The End
That's a lot of swear words. Very bad poetry too, if I do say so myself.
The Camicazi fan mentioned above is me, in case you haven't figured it out yet.
Anyways, this epic saga is dedicated to all those shippers out there, and to anyone who can write better poetry than me.
Keep on shippin'!
