Wassup yo!

So I was thinking about how Hiccup had a crazy amount of ships and I thought:

"I should totally write a saga about this"

And here it is. The epic saga of romance.

Also I'm gonna start calling him Hiccup Horrendous Harem now.

And in case you are so retarded that you can't figure from whose point of view this is written, it's Hiccup's.

It all began here...

The Epic Saga Of Hiccup Horrendous Harem's F*cking Crusade

I woke up one fine sunny day

To the clear sweet song of the mockingjay

I f*cked my dog and f*cked my cat

And I f*cked Lincoln in his top hat

I ate some bread made from rye

Then I frenched my sexy ma goodbye

I made my way out to the marketplace

Where I f*cked a guy who was selling plaice

I fed the plaice to my toothless dragon

Whom I later f*cked in a horse-drawn wagon

I met my girlfriend

And I f*cked her too

Then I f*cked the Ice Queen till my lips were blue

I met a redhead who'd bows and arrows

So I f*cked her and her frizzy 'do

I met a burglar

With wild blonde hair

I would've f*cked her

But I didn't dare

For one of her fans was standing near

Holding a gun up against my ear

And she hissed:

"Run along ya lil' c*nt

Or I'll have your head as a ball to punt!"

So run I did

Untill I came

To a hidden tower

That had no name

I climbed the tower

And soon I found

A maiden fair

With the longest hair

And because I'd nothing else to do

I f*cked that pretty maiden too

I left the tower

And bumped into Jack

The guardian of winter

He'd sprained his back

On a wooden splinter

So I f*cked him

And went back to Berk

Where I met Snotlout

A massive jerk

So I f*cked him

Then went away

And I met Fishlegs

Down by the bay

I f*cked his fat a*

Then f*cked the twins

Who had some sass

I f*cked Eret

Hunter of dragons

He usually lived

In station wagons

I f*cked young Heather

And her brother Dagur

And as an afterthought

I f*cked Elsa's sister

And very soon

I f*cked my way up

Right to the moon

On my way up

I f*cked a balloon

And when I got there

I f*cked the Man in the Moon

Thus here shall end my f*cking crusade

To my dear reader, goodbye I bade

Unless you'd join

My f*cking crusade

The End

That's a lot of swear words. Very bad poetry too, if I do say so myself.

The Camicazi fan mentioned above is me, in case you haven't figured it out yet.

Anyways, this epic saga is dedicated to all those shippers out there, and to anyone who can write better poetry than me.

Keep on shippin'!