Author's Note:  Fact:  I'm not a cusser.  I loathe and detest it and the act of doing it.  Problem:  Inuyasha's a cusser.  Solution:  Bleep replaces every single possible curse word in this fic.  ^__^

Disclaimer:  I don't own Inuyasha.  I wish I did.  Then there'd be more Sesshomaru scenes where we all drool at his beauty. *drools anyway*

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Shikon High

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Chapter One: Hour One, Day One

Stepping out of his red Porsche Inuyasha glared up at the red brick school building.  It was August twenty-first and he was being forced back into the one place he hated:  school.  Growling a curse he slammed his car door shut only to be met with snickers.  Whirling around he saw Kagome Higurashi standing next to Kouga, both of them laughing at him. 

"There a problem, doggie?" Kouga asked snidely. 

"None of your bleepin' business," Inuyasha snapped sourly.  Kagome offered him a smile and a wave as Kouga picked up her bag and headed inside.  Inuyasha glowered at their backs; last school year Inuyasha had discovered he had feelings for Kagome, only to be beaten at confession by Kouga, his arch nemesis.  Ever since then Kagome and Kouga had been a hot couple, irking Inuyasha to no end.  Sad thing was, Kagome had no idea of Inuyasha's feelings and simply assumed his increased hatred of Kouga was spawned by some devilish act the raven haired man must have committed.  Kagome still acted like everything was fine, because to her, it was.  Kouga, on the other hand, had somehow managed to weasel it out of someone that Inuyasha liked his girlfriend and he enjoyed making Inuyasha's life a living heck in everyway he could, being affectionate to Kagome in front of him not the least of it. 

Ripping open his backseat door Inuyasha grabbed his bag and stormed inside the school building.  Before he went to his classroom he made a stop by the front office where Miroku, Inuyasha's best friend and other arch nemesis rolled into one, was standing behind the desk rooting through the top drawer's contents.  Everybody knew that that was a sacred drawer, to be opened only by the secretary.  If Miroku were caught doing that… "Yo, dog breath, nice to see you made it to school on time the first day!" Miroku called out.  Inuyasha responded with a glower.

"Bleep it all, Miroku, leave me alone," the white haired man snapped.  Miroku grinned.

"Already seen Kagome and Kouga, huh?" he laughed.  A realization suddenly hit Inuyasha; Kouga knew of his affections for Kagome.  Miroku was the only one who possessed that knowledge….

"YOU TRAITOROUS SCUMBAG!" Inuyasha screamed, leaping over the front desk and throttling Miroku.  "YOU SNITCH!!"

"INUYASHA!" a strong woman's voice called out.  Inuyasha cringed and let go of Miroku's neck; the named fell to the floor gagging.  "You have no right whatsoever to strangle Miroku, no matter what evil he may have placed upon you."  A strong hand grabbed Inuyasha's leg and yanked him down to the floor.  Looking up into brown eyes, Inuyasha offered Sango, Shikon High's only secretary, a glare.

"He ratted," Inuyasha snapped, "and nobody likes a tattletale."

Sango raised an eyebrow.  "What knowledge could Miroku possibly posses that would bring you to anger at his spilling it?" she inquired.  Before Inuyasha could answer, Sango leaned over the desk to see if Miroku was alright.  "Are you okay, Mir—WHAT WERE YOU DOING ROOTING THROUGH MY DRAWER!"  Inuyasha smirked.  Sango was the nicest lady in the entire school, but touch her drawer and you'd be serving detention for a month, no matter if it was the first day of school or if you were an administrator.  She'd even give the principal detention. 

Taking this as his only opportunity to slip away, Inuyasha did so and headed towards his classroom before dummy slapping himself.  He'd forgotten why he'd gone to the front office anyway.  Oh well, it was too late now to do anything about it.  He'd die before he interrupted Sango's wrath; that in and of itself was deadly.

The first bell rang and he groaned.  He had two minutes to run to the other end of the school and beat the rushing crowds.  Clutching his bag to his chest he took off at lightning speed, dodging students and teachers everywhere.  Nearing his classroom, Inuyasha let off a whoop—he'd made it!  Except not.  Lying on the floor, his back aching, he could hear a woman's moans on the floor opposite him.  Sitting up he glowered at the woman who'd dared to get in his way only to find himself glaring at Kikyo, his ex-girlfriend.  Oh great.  What a way to start off the first day of school.

"I'd do something about this, but your about to be late, as am I, and I don't like being late to my first class of the day," Kikyo said, rubbing her sore head where Inuyasha's nose had connected with it.  "What is your nose made of anyway—titanium?"

"Shaddup," Inuyasha said, resuming his mad dash to his classroom.  So much for beating the crowds.  Ten thousand other kids were trying to cram into the same classroom as he was.  Well, maybe not ten thousand, but two were two many.  "Get out of my way," he said, shoving through the two teens.  Stepping into the classroom, he took a deep breath and smiled.  Ah, home.  Walking to the desk in front he plopped his bag down and relaxed in his reclining chair.  Crazy teens streamed through the door and jumped into their seats mere seconds before the second bell rang.  It never ceased to amaze Inuyasha just how quickly teens could find their seats.  "Welcome to your first class of the new school year," Inuyasha said, standing up.  "I'm—"

"Dude, you're like our age," the kid in front said, "except with white hair.  Dude, who are you?"

"Your teacher," Inuyasha snapped.  "Who are you?"

"The name's Shippo," the kid said.  "What's it to you?"

"I'm keeping my eye on you," Inuyasha said.  "I predict you'll have detention five minutes from now.  As I was saying before I was interrupted, I'm Mr. Inuyasha.  Call me anything but My Lord and I'll stick you in detention faster than you can blink.  Now.  Most teachers, such as Ms. Kikyo, believe in starting off the school year with gay get to know you games.  Me, I see you all this way:  you're scum.  The dust of the universe has greater sway in my eyes than you do.  You're freshman.  If you're worth getting to know, then you're in the wrong class.  If you're not worth getting to know, welcome home.  I'll know your name by the time class ends and trust me, I won't forget it.  Any questions?"  One girl in the back raised her hand.  "What?" he snapped.

"What class are we in?"

Inuyasha held in a groan.  He always got the idiots.  "Geometry."

"Are there any other teachers?"

"No."

"So I can't transfer out?"

"No."

"How important is this class to my life?"

"You can't graduate without it."  He smirked; he'd made sure of that when he first started teaching.  There wasn't a single kid inside of Shikon High who hadn't had him as a teacher except for the freshman, and they all knew him after the first day of school.  "Any other idiotic questions?  No?  Good.  We're starting with triangles, even though they're halfway through the book and don't make much sense without chapters one through four to give you a basis on them."  Turning to the chalk board, Inuyasha drew a triangle.  This was going to be fun.

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"Detention already?"  Sesshomaru asked Miroku as he walked through the detention room. 

"Maybe," Miroku grumbled.

"What did you do this time?"

Silence.

"Ah, you rooted through her drawer.  Will you ever learn?"

Miroku shook his head.  "Not as long as she insists on keeping those chocolate covered kiwis stashed away."  Sesshomaru shook his head and Miroku shrugged.  "Hey, it's not my fault I'm an addict!  I tried to get Kagome to see me about it, but she refused.  She said something about me being too perverted or something."  Sesshomaru rolled his eyes and walked out.  Miroku offered a wave to the usually stoic principal.  He must have found a woman to be this talkative.

Looking around the detention room Miroku wondered for the millionth time what purpose this room really held.  Most people would try to say it had disciplinary reason, but he knew otherwise.  Any real discipline never went through detention; the only people you saw here were the regulars and the kids Inuyasha and Kouga hated, which was pretty much everybody between the freshman and sophomores.  Today being the first day of school it was pretty empty, but by tomorrow it would be full.

Thinking about Inuyasha and Kouga made Miroku wonder why they'd been hired.  Inuyasha taught freshman geometry and Kouga taught sophomore algebra.  Every student in Shikon High had them, and everybody hated them, except when they entered into a duel of any sort.  Out of all the teachers at Shikon High, they were the only two who really hated each other.  They made it a game to see how many of their students they could get to fail exams at the end of each semester.  The loser had to wash the winner's chalkboards for a month, the ultimate humiliation.  There wasn't enough bribing in the world to make a person willingly wash boards at Shikon High; every teacher believed chalk was a natural resource that replenished itself and henceforth believed that if there wasn't a foot of chalk dust on their board by the end of the day they had failed (even Inuyasha thought that, and he failed at everything).  Miroku shrugged and pushed them from his mind.  He had a little bit of free time right now and he wanted his thoughts to be entertained by a certain rav—

"Your class is wondering where you are," a voice called.  Muttering mentally at the disruption Miroku turned to see Kaede, the school janitor.

"I've been sent to detention.  Tell them that if they really want their history teacher back they'll have to talk to Sango at the front desk.  Or you could send them in here, since I'm not allowed to leave."

"Now isn't that something, sophomore history in the detention room," Kaede clucked.  "You're pathetic, Miroku.  You really should learn that Sango's drawer is her private space.  Maybe then you'd actually be able to teach and all your students wouldn't fail the tests you give them on material you were never around to teach."

"But what would be the fun in that?" he pouted.  "Then they'd actually pass and I wouldn't have repeat students every year!  Take that Tsuyu, now.  She's a hot, er, uh, hot one for failing.  I've had her for five years.  Hey, speaking of hotness, what are you doing on Friday, Kaede?"

"Kikyo and I are going to be learning a new spell.  One that repells demons."  Kaede's pointed glare left no room to wonder who the demon was she spoke about.  Sticking his tongue out at her, Miroku made a mental note to never ask the younger former priestess out on a date.  Kikyo was dangerous, mind you, but at least she was a good kisser.  As far as Miroku could tell, Kaede hadn't kissed a toad in her life, let alone a man, and was happy to keep it that way.  She was a janitor for crying out loud!

Silence reigned in the room as Kaede's retreating footsteps took with them all sound.  Leaning back in the student desk, Miroku sighed in contentment.  He enjoyed being all alone.  It gave him time to use his imagination, and he had a very active one. 

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Running frantically around the office, Vice Principal Jakken freaked when he realized he couldn't find Sesshomaru's itinerary for the day.  Sesshomaru was a principal who liked his day planned out and got mad when it wasn't handy on paper, and when Sesshomaru was mad even Inuyasha feared to tread lightly.  Well, maybe not Inuyasha, but that boy had a death wish, so he couldn't be considered a normal person.

Running next door to the Guidance Counselor's office, Jakken threw himself at Ms. Higurashi's mercy.  "HELP ME!" he wailed.  Kagome didn't even have to ask to know what he was missing; Jakken was only this shook up when he couldn't find Sesshomaru's itinerary.  It was the only thing the vice principal was responsible for; any other wrong happenings could easily be pawned off on Inuyasha. 

"Did you look in all the usual places?"  Ms. Higurashi asked patiently.  Jakken nodded wildly.  "Did you ask Sango?"  Jakken nodded again.  "Did you check with Miroku?  I saw him lurking around here when Kouga dropped me off.  When Miroku lurks in the front office, it only means two things—chocolate covered kiwis are taking up residence in Sango's desk and or causing trouble for you."

Jakken blinked.  "Miroku!  The bleep!  I should have known it would be him!"  Standing up straight and tall (considering he was only three foot two…) Jakken marched out of the counselor's office and headed straight towards the history teacher's classroom. Throwing the door open he belted out, "MIROKU!"

Silence, then, "Hiten, did you just hear a voice?"

"I don't know, Manten.  I can't see a body."

Jakken stomped his foot impatiently.  "I'm down here."

"Dude, I heard it again!"

"I'M THE VICE PRINCIPAL IDIOTS NOW TELL ME WHERE MIROKU IS!!"  A shadow loomed over Jakken and the short man tried not to quake in fear.

"Manten, I found it!  It's—It's—an elementary schooler.  Dude, you're in the wrong building.  Scat."

Jakken glared up at a rather obese boy, but before he could protest a taller, thinner, better looking boy walked over.  "Hiten, you idiot, he's too wrinkly to be a kid.  What do you want, old man?"

"DETENTION FOR BOTH OF YOU!" Jakken screamed.  "Now where is that dang blasted Miroku?"

"Who's Miroku?" the one named Hiten asked.

"Your teacher."

"We have a teacher?"

"Yes!  He should be standing in front of the classroom lecturing right about now!"

Manten spoke next.  "We've been here for an hour and haven't seen hide nor hair of any old fogie except the stupid janitor."

Jakken spoke a few choice words then, causing the two punks to stare at him.  "Dude, I didn't know those curses existed."

"Shut up and follow me to the detention room," Jakken snapped.  "The rest of you—keep your eyes out for an itinerary!  Anybody finds it and I'll pass them this class before the day is even done."

"Really?" a voice called out.  "I've been here for seven years!  I'll find that itinerary for you, sir!"

Jakken ran.

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A/N:  Well, that was my first chapter!  Hope y'all enjoyed it!  My sister laughed, so I take it that's a good thing.  Sorry there's not too much romance yet, but it's only the first chapter!  Things got to progress a little bit!  But fear not, I am The Sap Queen and there shall be much sappiness.  Please review, and I'll get the next chapter out as soon as I can!  ~~Callisto