How was fire invented? I'm sure aliens taught the cavemen Or maybe the cavemen were aliens Or maybe there is no such thing as fire and we're all imagining it..

Why did that old man mow his lawn every Sunday at exactly three o'clock when you were growing up? Yes, that's right, he was a part of a ritualistic cult. Or he was part of an international conspiracy that communicated in lawn circles.before the crop circles got so popular..

Why don't any dogs bark at that strange woman as she walks down my street? Oh, yes. She's a witch Or maybe she's controlling them with her mind Or maybe she can talk to them....

Shooting Stars? They're spaceships of course. Yes, definitely spaceships abducting people Me, you, that lady, that crazy man we talked to. Everyone and anyone.

You know the sky really is falling. Henny Penny was really a rouge government agent who was covered up in a children's story. There really is a National
International
Universal
conspiracy. All made against little old human kind. And most notably You.

Yes. You heard right. The sky is blue because old Sam wanted it that way. There is a conspiracy in every person, place, or thing fathomable to the human, inhuman, or alien mind. The earth does not circle the sun; it circles the mother ship. God is an alien. TV is a form of mind control. There are drugs in your Wheaties. All baseball players are little gray men. And so is Cher. The common cold is just waiting to sprout legs and invade the earth.

Now Mulder....

Is this what you want to hear? Really? That all those insane ideas are right? Do you want a yes man? Well Mulder. The earth does not circle the mother ship. And it most certainly does not circle you. Henny Penny was a rooster who had an unfortunate incident with an apple. And sometimes I wish an apple would hit you on the head...knock something back into place. The world is not a conspiracy. And the sky is blue because of atmospheric gases.

So Mulder, screw the yes man.