Anyone who could take a look into my life would see that I did not grow up in a "normal" household. But to me, this was normal. I never knew it any other way.

Let me start from the beginning. My name is Haruhi. It means "Spring Day". My mother gave me that name. If you knew my mother, you wouldn't be surprised.

I guess I should tell you about my family. My mother's name is Nanami Momozono. I've been told she is "the land god", or…at least she was.

Don't worry, I'll explain later.

I didn't really understand my mother's role as the land god, but it never concerned me, because she never let that define her. To me, she was just "mom", and a wonderful mom at that.

My father's name is Tomoe. He is formerly known as the deadliest fox demon of the Yokai Realm.

I know what you must be thinking. "How the hell does a fox demon, and a land god fall in love?" Well to make your questions even more interesting, my mother was also human. That's right, I'm half human, half Yokai. I identify more with my human half, mainly because I look just like my mother. No crazy ears or tails, and especially no demonic powers. Well, at least not yet.

I have some additional members of my household that I consider family. There's my Uncle Mizuki. He was my mother's snake familiar, but now he's just a member of the family. He's always been my biggest support.

I've been told that my father started out as my mother's familiar too, and they eventually fell in love. I've also been told that my father has never loved anyone else, so I can't even begin to imagine how hard these last few years have been for him.

I won't get too ahead of myself, so I'll go back about 12 years ago, when I was 5 years old.

Since the day my mother gave birth to me, she had begun to deteriorate. She had fallen very ill. Apparently with the same illness my grandmother had. During this time, my father became determined to find a cure for her. He would either keep himself locked away in the basement. When he did come out, it was only to care for my mother.

Before my mother was really sick my father was my best friend. My favorite memory from my childhood is every winter morning, when there was a big snowfall the night before, we would always go out in front of the shrine and build a snowman. As my mother fell more ill, our time out in the snow grew shorter and shorter. I didn't blame him though. He was doing his best to find a cure for her.

The winter after I turned 5 years old, there was a massive snowfall. When I woke up that morning to see nothing but white covering the fields, I sprinted toward the basement where I knew my father was dwelling.

*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*

I tapped away at the hidden door within the floor panels, which housed the basement of the shrine.

"Daddy! Daddy! There's snow outside! Can we go build our snowman?"

Do you wanna build a snowman? C'mon let's go and play!

I was greeted with nothing but silence on the other end of the door. I got down on my knees to try and peek through the cracks at an attempt to catch a glance of my father.

I never see you anymore. Come out the door. It's like you've gone away.

"C'mon Daddy! It's been FOREVER since we've built a snowman. And I'm still not tall enough to put the head on."

We used to be best buddies, and now we're not. I wish you would tell me why.

More silence followed. I lightly place my lips against the floor to muffle my voice. "Daddy…" I called again, but in a low, muffled voice. "Please come out, Daddy." At this point, I was internally laughing at myself, hoping he would think it's funny, too.

Do you wanna build a snowman? It doesn't have to be a snowman.

"Haruhi! Not now!"

I jumped at the sudden anger in my father's voice.

I felt suddenly disheartened at the realization that I was being a nuisance to him. I quietly got up and walked away.

"Maybe Mizuki will play with me." I thought to myself.

Okay, bye….

Fast forward 5 years. Almost exactly 5 years. I was a 10-year-old ball of energy, and continuously growing. My mother, however, was surely lacking in the energy these days. At this point, she is almost completely bedridden. My father's hard work to find a cure went from determined to obsessive. I've seen a lot more aggressive outbursts from him those past couple of years. He was frustrated that his attempts to find a cure have continuously fallen short. On this day, there was another massive snowfall the night before. It was a rare day in the household due to the fact that my father was walking about the shrine. I had built up my courage and decided to ask him to spend time with me today. I've never been one to express to him that I was lonely, but I couldn't hold back my feelings any longer. More than anything, I wanted a relationship with my father again.

I peered into the kitchen to find my father silently stirring the pot of soup he was making for the house on this cold winter day. I took a deep breath before making my first step toward my estranged father.

*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*

I tapped on the molding of the entrance to the kitchen to make him aware of my presence.

"Hey Dad, can we talk?"

Do you wanna build a snowman? Or ride our bike around the halls?

He kept his back toward me as he continued to stir the soup. I awkwardly continued to approach him.

"I was just wanting to see if…I mean it's been awhile, but…I was kinda hoping we could…" I was starting to stumble on my words. I cleared my throat, refusing to quit until I asked my burning question. "Would you like to hang out today?" I blurted out. "Maybe we can build a snowman, just like before."

I think some company is overdue. I've started talking to the pictures on the walls.

I waited patiently for any type of response or reaction from him. Still, he did not budge.

"I know you've been really busy taking care of mom…" I continued. The silence was deafening. "I just...I miss you, Dad."

It gets a little lonely, all these empty rooms, just watching the hours tick by…

I looked down at the floor, waiting for his response once again. After what seemed like an eternity of silence, I looked up, shocked to find that he was gone.

I was confused. Conflicted between hoping he would respond, and already knowing that he wouldn't.

"Haruhi! Dinner is ready!" Mizuki yelled from the dining room.

I quickly shook it off so Mizuki wouldn't worry, and ran into the dining room with a forced smile.

Another 5 years flies by. Finally, 15 years old and ready to begin my life as a high school student. At this point in my life, my mother is on her deathbed, and everyone is trying their best to make her feel as comfortable as possible. Everyone, that is, except my father, who now only shows his face to give my mother a new possible cure. No one tries to stop him though, not even my mother. She says it makes her happy that he's trying so hard to keep her around. My mother was always able to see the bright side of every situation, even until her dying breath.

I had just finished getting dressed in my uniform and was starting to get incredibly nervous. I walked out of my room and into the family room where an anxious Mizuki was waiting, along with Uncle Mikage and Onikiri and Kotetsu. Everyone immediately smiled and gasped at my entrance.

"Oh, Haruhi-Chan! You look just like Nanami did at your age! So adorable!" Mizuki swooned.

"Lady Haruhi, you look enchanting!" the wisps exclaimed in unison. Mikage nodded in agreement.

"Thank you, everyone." I smiled.

I slowly walked past them and turned the corner to my mother's room. She had changed drastically over the years. Her once vibrant hair had become dull. Her skin turned pale. And the bags under her eyes had deepened.

She looked toward the door and greeted me with the happiest smile she could produce.

"Haruhi, you look beautiful!"

I smiled back at my mother and kneeled by her bedside.

"I feel bad leaving you, Mom…" I said to her in a gentle tone.

"Nonsense! Today is your day. I'm in good hands. Don't you worry about me!"

I shake my head at my mother's statement. Telling me not to worry about her is like telling water not to be wet.

"Listen to me, Haruhi…" she grabbed my hands tightly, as if she were using all her strength. "Today is the first day of a very important part of your life. Live every day to the fullest. And make sure you take any chance you get to make new friends. Those friends will be with you for life. Enjoy every minute of your days in high school. It'll be over before you know it."

I slowly nodded, taking in every word she said.

"I love you so much, Haruhi."

I could feel myself tear up at the sight of her weak smile.

"I love you too, Mom." I pulled her into an embrace being careful not to hurt her.

After saying my goodbyes, I walked out toward the shrine entrance, turning around one last time to wave to everyone.

Everyone, of course, except my father.

When I try to think back to it, the only thing I can remember about my first day of high school is that it was the day I lost a part of me. All I can recall is looking out the window in the middle of the school day to see a dark, black cloud forming over the shrine in the distance. My heart sank, and I instinctively bolted out of the classroom and ran home as fast as I could.

I will never forget the heavy feeling of death that I felt walking up those steps of the shrine. The day my mother left this world, she took the light of the shrine with her.

A ceremony was held in her honor. All of the gods from across the land came to pay their respects. Everyone gave me their condolences, and I tried my best to show my appreciation without being too distant.

As the crowd grew bigger, I began to feel even more lonely, as if the loss of my mother finally became real. Then I thought of my father, and how lonely he must feel right now. I glanced around to see if I could spot his white hair and foxlike ears. But much to my dismay, once again, he was nowhere in sight.

Toward the end of the night, when the crowd of mourners began to disperse, I made sure to see everyone off at the stairwell of the shrine. That's what my mother would do if she were here.

As the last guest left, a glimmer in the air caught my attention. I looked up toward the sky to see the first snowfall of the season. It felt as if the snow were falling in slow motion. As the first snowflake melted onto my cheek, I again thought of my father. My emotions toward him were complex. I was furious that he didn't even bother to show his face at the ceremony, and equally sad to think of how defeated he must feel. How hard he worked to find a cure that ultimately couldn't save my mother, the love of his life.

I slowly walked back to the shrine with a weak smile so that Mizuki, Mikage, and the wisps wouldn't worry too much. I instinctively made my way to the place I knew where my father would be hiding.

I crouched down onto my knees in front of the hidden door. After hesitating for a moment, I lightly tapped on the floor.

*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*

"Father…it's me." I said quietly. The silence in the shrine was so deafening that I felt I had to whisper every word. "I didn't see you at the ceremony. So, I just wanted to check and make sure you're okay."

Please, I know you're in there. People are asking where you've been…

I knew there would be no response on the other side, so I just kept talking.

"I met a lot of people today. People who said they knew mom when she was my age. They said I look just like her." More silence followed. "There was also this Tengu there. He said he was a friend of yours. He said he knew I was your daughter because I had your eyes. That made me happy." I waited for any sign that he was listening and was still greeted with nothing.

They say have courage, and I'm trying to. I'm right out here for you. Just let me in.

I gently placed my hand on the floor, sadly knowing this was the closest I could get to comforting my father. The thought made me start to tear up.

"I can only imagine how horrible you must feel…of course, I don't know for certain, but…" I was fighting back the tears, hoping I could show him how strong I was. "I just…I feel so…alone."

We only have each other. It's just you and me. What are we gonna do?

I could feel the tears fall down my cheeks. They felt warm against my cold face. I slowly laid onto my side on the floor next to the panel. My vision started to get blurry from fighting the tears that threatened to fall. My eyes felt heavy, and I knew I would fall into a deep sleep any minute.

I remember whispering one last sentence before closing my eyes and drifting away.

"It's snowing outside."

Do you wanna build a snowman?