Authors Note: See what happens when you beat my high score on Plock? You die.
In all seriousness, to my Lo, thanks for letting me kill you off (even though you didn't get a choice really) and I can't even tell you how excited I am that you are jumping headfirst into the fandom with me!!! ILY!!!
Disclaimer: I don't own Evan Bourne (and neither does Matt Korklan, ha ha.), Mike "The Miz", or Lo. Okay maybe I own Lo a little bit. But just the TY Hizzle loving part.
Song lyrics from "Can't Be Really Gone" by Tim McGraw.
When he missed a house show, and then two, they knew. He may have been annoying, and he may have not earned his dues, but he was more dedicated to the business than guys that had been there twice as long.
Evan volunteered to go check on him, because that's just the kind of guy Evan was. He took a red eye to Los Angeles and signed autographs in LAX for hours just to kill the time and avoid what he was actually there to do. He wondered if he should call someone that was more equipped to deal with this, that was closer to the situation, but then he figured he saw Mike more than just about anybody, he had been in the room when Mike had gotten the phone call, there was nobody closer to the situation.
Evan parked the rental car at the end of the long driveway and walked up slowly, half expecting Mike to not even be there, but his car was parked in front of the garage, and there was mail literally spilling out of the mailbox onto the porch, falling among the stacks of unopened newspapers.
"Damnit," Evan slipped off his glasses, running a hand over his face and mentally preparing himself for the worst. Mike wasn't that stupid, right?
Right?
He knocked on the door lightly, then louder, and even louder, until he was threatening to kick down the door or bring the police, whatever it took, and then he heard footsteps and the door opened.
"Hey."
Evan tried not to openly stare, but to say it was a shock was an understatement. The man who always took the utmost pride in his appearance, never even considering being seen unless his hair and outfit were completely perfect, looked .. well, like shit. His eyes were dull and red-rimmed, the bags underneath them rivaling CM Punk's, he looked like he hadn't eaten or slept in days.
"You gonna make me stand out here?" Evan asked, smiling tentatively, and Mike pushed open the screen door and stepped aside to allow Evan in. He tried to ignore the surroundings and instead focused on the shell of the man across from him. "You never showed up in Massachusetts. We got worried."
Mike ran a hand over his hair that laid flat against his head, a sharp contrast to the brightly colored faux-hawk he usually sported, and tried to avoid Evan's eyes.
"Yeah, sorry about that. I guess I lost track of the days."
"And Maine before that," Evan continued.
"Yeah. Look, I just.." He trailed off, looking around. "I can't go anywhere right now." He crossed his arms over his chest, and Evan couldn't shake the feeling he was literally trying to hold himself together. "I just have to stay here."
Evan nodded sympathetically. "Okay man. Just let Vince know you need some time off, he'll understand with everything that happened and.."
Mike interrupted him mid-sentence. "I just want to be here when she comes back."
Evan's mouth hung open as Mike's words registered.
"When she .. what? Who?"
Mike gave him his best "don't be stupid" look and sighed, rolling his eyes when Evan didn't catch on immediately.
"Lauren. Who else?"
"Wha .. I .." Evan stumbled over his words, his brain not following what was going on. Was he serious? Was he out of his damn mind? Oh shit. Was he out of his mind?
"Mike," Evan said softly, putting a hand on the man's shoulder. "You know she's .. she's not .." He sighed, trying again. "She's gone Mike."
Mike looked at Evan like HE was crazy, shrugging away from his touch. "Don't be stupid Evan." He began walking away deeper into the house, and Evan followed him.
"Look man, I think you should go talk to someone .. a counselor or something .. or maybe go see your family for a while you know?"
He stopped so short Evan almost plowed into him, spinning around.
"I said. I can't go anywhere. I have to stay here." Each word came out perfectly measured and calculated, Mike's glare burning into Evan as he spoke.
"Okay look, I know this is hard to deal with, but there are people that can help you, we all care about you and we want to help you through this .."
Mike scoffed at Evan, waving him away with a flick of his hand. "I don't need help. I just need to stay here."
"Mike." Evan grabbed him by the shoulder roughly this time, turning him around. "Listen to me. I know you love Lauren. And I know you miss her. And I know what happened is the shittiest thing that could ever happen, and I can't imagine what you're going through. But you gotta know, denying it isn't gonna change it."
Mike closed his eyes sharply, trying to ignore Evan's words.
"C'mon man. She wouldn't want you to do this." He gritted his teeth together as Mike began shaking his head back and forth slowly.
"Mike. Mike! MICHAEL MIZANIN! Listen to me! Lauren is gone, okay? She's gone, and sitting in here rotting isn't going to bring her back .." Evan shook the man roughly and his eyes snapped open, the ice blueness locking on Evan's.
"No." His voice came out dangerously low.
"What?"
"No. She's not gone Evan. She's not." He choked back a sob, and Evan released his grip on him. "She's not gone. She can't be gone." Mike closed his eyes again, and when he opened them this time the blueness glistened with moisture that threatened to spill over the lids. "She can't be gone Evan. She .." He voice grew thicker. "She left her hat. The one that she got when we did that tour in Mexico and all it did was storm the whole time, and we got soaked every time we even stepped outside the hotel, and she told me to go sign for all the fans waiting out in the rain and she'd wait too, 'cause she'd stay dry under the hat. And she left it here."
"Mike, I .."
"And her shoes." He pointed to the shoes that sat in the entryway near them, the first few tears beginning to fall. "We got stuck in Michigan for an extra day because of the snow, and then we had to go to Chicago, and there was more snow, and .. and I didn't get home until late, and it was Christmas Eve, and I took her out to buy whatever she wanted, you know? And I expected her to pick out some jewelry or something expensive and I didn't even care because she deserved it .. but she picked out those shoes and said they called her name. She loves those shoes ..she wouldn't leave them." He nodded his head as if reassuring himself.
"She just .. she hates that I'm gone so much. She'd never say it but I know she does. She's always afraid I'm going to get hurt. I'm going to ask for a lighter schedule you know? Just so I can be home with her more when she comes back. She deserves it."
Evan sighed, his heart heavy in his chest, trying to think of something, anything to say.
"And she didn't finish her book yet. She's only on Chapter 21. There's like a thousand chapters in that book, and she's only on Chapter 21. Her bookmarks right in there, in the book, and I left it on the bed, because she's going to want to finish it when she gets back, and then she'll tell me about it 'cause she knows I'll never read it, but I'll go see the movie when it comes out, and she'll say the movies not as good and I should read the book and then maybe I will. But she has to come back and finish it first."
Evan put an arm around Mike's shoulders, fighting back the tears that were in his eyes, as Mike looked around the house sadly at all of Lauren's things still there, just waiting for her to come back, like he was. He looked at Evan, his cheeks wet, his lip trembling.
"She can't really be gone Evan. She can't. We were just getting started. There's too much we have to do." He let out one heart-wrenching sob that pierced straight through Evan. "I can't..I can't do this without her."
Evan stood silently as the realization hit Mike slowly and painfully, hating that it was all he could do.
Her hat is hanging by the door
The one she bought in Mexico
It blocked the wind, it stopped the rain
She'd never leave that one
So she can't be really gone
The shoes she bought on Christmas Eve
She laughed and said they called her name
It's like they're waiting in the hall
For her to slip them on
So she can't be really gone
I don't know when she'll come back
She must intend to come back
When I've seen the error of my ways
Don't waste your tears on me
What more proof do you need?
Just look around the room
So much of her remains
Her book is lying on the bed
The two of hearts to mark her page
Now who could ever walk away
At Chapter 21?
So she can't be really gone
Just look around this room
So much of her remains
Her book is lying on the bed
The two of hearts to mark her page
Now who could ever walk away
With so much left undone?
So she can't be really gone
No she can't be really gone ..
Yeaaaah. Sorry about that.
*passes out tissues*
