A/N: Nothing much to say, I was just reading Growing Up Cullen again and the burning need to write down some dialogue was undeniable. Review and all that shiny goodness. :)
"I don't watch her from behind bushes."
"Dude."
"Emmet, really, you're lack of faith in my intentions is wounding."
"Yeah, I'll be sure to consult my conscience about mocking you while you watch the poor girl sleep."
"Just what are you implying, Emmet?"
"Just that you're a really messed up sicko."
"What would you know? You've never read minds! Never experienced the lust and hate that plagues humanity! Her thoughts are pure and that makes her beautiful!"
"You can't even read her mind! For all you know, she's harboring, like, a horse fetish or whatever."
"What's this about horse fetishes?"
"Just Ed's new girlfriend is probably a freak."
"Well then, they're perfect for each other."
"Rosalie, that was uncalled for."
"Whatever, Edward. We can talk about uncalled for when you apologize to my husband for deleting his porn stash."
"Rosalie, I saved your marriage in one fell swoop! I won't defile your mind and ears by revealing what were on those tapes-"
"Babe, one of 'em was the bondage tape!"
"What? Edward, you owe me a new bondage turn on tape!"
"Emmet! What have you done? Your wife's chastity has been stained! Tainted!"
"Guys, can we please just calm-"
"Don't even, Jasper! Just be glad he doesn't know where you keep your mags!"
"Jasper! I'm offended! You violate the vows of your sanctioned marriage by reading such filth?"
"..."
"I'm telling Alice."
"No, Edward, please. I beg of you."
"I feel you're not being sincere."
"I am. My heart of hearts is grieved I've betrayed Alice in such a manner."
"As you should. Now, if you'll excuse me- OH GOD!"
"What?"
"Jaz, what the hell just happened?"
"Why the hell are you blushing?"
"Jasper! The mail just came! Get up here!"
"Welp, this has been fun..."
"Wait, where are you going? You broke him!"
"... He's been staring at the wall for a while now..."
"Do you hear that? Oh."
"Oh?"
"I think I know what Alice ordered."
"Oh."
"Ngh."
"Shit, did he just talk?"
"More like whimpered."
"Let's get his stickers before he comes to."
"I just had the best idea ever."
"What?"
"Sticker-pasties."
"Holy hell, babe, you are hot."
"I know."
"Eem."
"Let's go."
"Thanks for the stickers, Ed."
