So I'm not really back just yet. This is just a drabble I've had sitting around and I wanted to actually post something in this fandom since it's been a while. No promises on updates, but I do want this to be a drabble series. Hopefully this works out.
"Did you just take that spoon from the drawer?"
It wasn't that Sanji didn't expect Luffy to come into the kitchen randomly. On the contrary, he always expected it. He just thought that when Luffy finally snuck in during the day, it would be to steal the snacks Sanji'd been preparing for the ladies. Not to steal a spoon from the drawer and try to make off with it.
Luffy blinked at Sanji, and held up the spoon in front of his face, like he didn't understand what was wrong with this whole situation. "…Yeah?"
Sanji just sighed. Better to just figure out what the idiot was trying to do before disaster fell upon the crew. "Okay, why did you take a spoon of all things?"
Suddenly Luffy was raising his eyebrows looking at Sanji like he was the idiot, and Sanji didn't like this one bit. It meant that Luffy was being oblivious again (well, when wasn't he? But this was different), and oblivious Luffy coupled with idiot Luffy equaled manipulative, stubborn Luffy who couldn't be persuaded against an idea. And that was never, ever good.
"Because I need it."
"Right, but why?"
Luffy huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. "You can't dig a tunnel without a shovel."
"What does a tunnel have to do with a spoon, though? And why are we suddenly talking about a tunnel? I was asking about the spoon."
"I'm going to tunnel through the Red Line with a shovel!" Luffy exclaimed, holding up his spoon. "And Usopp said the best thing to use as a shovel was a spoon! He was telling a story about some prison guy who escaped by tunneling out of his cell. So a spoon can dig through the Red Line."
Groaning, Sanji just slapped his hand over his eyes. Once he finished dragging it down his face, Sanji finally looked up at his rubber-brained captain.
"Why would we need to tunnel through the Red Line if we're already in the New World?" Sanji asked.
"'Cause otherwise Laboon can't get back to Brook when we reach the end of the New World!"
"We're going back to Laboon after we get the One Piece and you become King of the Pirates, though," Sanji said slowly, just in case his captain decided he couldn't keep up with regular paced speech. The kid was a bigger idiot than Sanji remembered. "Right?"
"Of course!"
"So why do you need to tunnel through the Red Line when we just go back to the start afterwards?" Sanji sighed. "And how the hell are you going to tunnel through the Red Line with a spoon when we're nowhere close to the thing?"
Luffy stilled, frowned, and then stopped breathing. When his face started to turn red, Sanji was seriously considering going over to his captain and kicking him upside the head in order to stop him from thinking so hard, but before he could, Luffy made a noise of realization.
"Oh," Luffy laughed. "Guess we have to be kinda close to it for me to do that."
He handed the spoon back to Sanji. Sanji put it in drawer and then gently wacked the boy on the head. "You're an idiot if you think a spoon would work better than your third gear."
Luffy just grinned, waving to Sanji as he ran out of the kitchen, rubbery limbs reaching for Nami's and Robin's snacks. Sanji kicked them away. All he heard after that was Luffy's insane cackling. Sheesh, it was hard having an idiot like him as a captain.
