Keep in mind; I'm only saying this because some people disagree but, SHEIK IS A GUY

Keep in mind; I'm only saying this because some people disagree but, SHEIK IS A GUY!! Don't read the bit in brackets if you haven't completed the game:

(And he is not Zelda)

And Shadow is another Sheikah, and I do not base myself around her. If you don't understand, e-mail me!

Link Meets the Stars of Final Fantasy VII and VIII

It was a quiet day in Hyrule, or to be more precise, Kakariko Village. Link was there to check on everyone and make sure that things were in order.

Link: (Waving to the readers) I'm here to make sure things are in order!

Looks around and can only see happy happy people living their happy happy lives.

Link: (Not caring) Okay, everything's fine. I'll go now. Back to Zelda's pad. She'll give me chips and nachos.

Sheik, as usual, appears out of nowhere.

Sheik: Nuh uh. You're coming with me and going to find Shadow.

Link: What is it with you and Shadow? It's always 'Oh wait, we have to find Shadow.' And 'What about Shadow' and………… Wait a minute. That was Nabooru!! Are you going out with Nabooru?!

Sheik: (Looking like Link when Ruto told him they had got engaged) No!!!! She's a Gerudo! What could I see in her?

Link: (Pondering) Well, she kinda did save Hyrule from total destruction, she's a babe, she is REALLY good at………… (Sheik cracks him over the head with a nearby crate. Gee he's strong)

Link passes out. Sheik sighs.

Sheik: (Dragging Link into one of the empty houses) You can take energy bolts, you can live in a £$(^ing hot crater, but you can stand up to a wooden crate. Useless…

Voice: Where the %^&* am I?

Sheik dumps Link on the floor and looks around. Behind him, he sees a 20 something year old guy with blonde, spiky hair wearing a purple outfit.

Sheik: Forget where you are, who the ^%&* are you?

The guy stands in a heroic posture and coughs loudly.

Guy: I am Cloud. Hero of Final Fantasy VII. (Starts to twirl his sword)

Sheiks: (Eyes focused warily on the weapon) That's a big ^%^&ing sword!!

Cloud tries to fit his sword on his back, but because it's so big he loses balance and falls flat on his face. Hearing the words 'Final Fantasy' Link wakes up.

Link: Ha! So you're Cloud! You and me have a score to…… What are you doing on the floor?

Cloud: (Getting up) I was uhh…… Oh forget it. Three questions. Why am I here? Where is here? And who are you?

Link: (Crossing them off with his fingers) You're my rival. Hyrule. I'm Link, this is Sheik. Happy?

Cloud: (Confused) (Monotone) Yes.

Sheik: Can I ask why you're rivals?

Link gets frustrated, considering that he is already (sexually) this was REALLY frustrating for him.

Link: He's the… He… well… People play his game as much as they play mine!! He has to pay!

Cloud: Oh. This is a game too?

Link: YES!!!! I'm Link, the star of this game and you're stealing my publicity! I demand you give it back right now!!

Cloud: Link..? Oh yeah, you're one of the main characters on that old fashioned machine aren't you? Cartridges are so SNES like and the prices are just TOO high.

Link's fists tighten. He looks like he's preparing to draw magic from Cloud and use it against… Oh wait. That Final Fantasy VIII isn't it? Oh well, he does it anyway.

Link: Draw Quezacotl!!

Voice: Hey!! That's MY game buddy!!!!

Out of nowhere comes Squall, accompanied by Shadow.

Sheik: Shadow?

Shadow: (Finds herself in a difficult situation) Oh..! Sheik! What a surprise. I…

Link: She's siding with THEM!

Squall: (Protectively) Hey! (Points to Link) You're the one that brought me here! Give me back my GF!

Link looks blankly.

Squall: My Quezacotl!

Link: (Like a spoilt kid) No!!

Squall: Oh come on! I'll be your bestest friend!

Link: (Backs away) No…

Shadow: Oh just give him the damn bird.

Link: It wasn't even their producer's idea! (Blackboard comes down and Link takes out a pointing stick) You see, Quezacotl was actually an Aztec God, according to my sources. Yo Suzuki (I think that's the guy I'm looking for) doesn't even have two brain cells to rub together to come up with the idea for an electric zapping bird.

Squall: You are so…

Cloud: Let him have his last words. So what are you getting at?

Link: (Returns to normal) What I'm trying to say is…

Two Voices: Oh stop complaining!

Everyone gasps. They turn around. There is another gasp. The two voices turn out to be…………………………………… Shigeru Miyamoto and Yo Suzuki (Again, sorry if I'm wrong)

Yo: You see, we put our heads together and did some thinking.

Shigeru: And we're sick of you three fighting all the time.

Yo: And ganging up on people. (Waves a finger) Shame on you, Cloud and Squall.

Cloud and Squall: Gray told us to do it!

Shigeru: Anyway, we thought that it there had been no Nintendo, there would be no Final Fantasy series.

Yo: In other words, you're like brothers. Except for you Shadow, cos you're an original character.

Shigeru: So you have to stop this stupid fighting, or there will have to be loads of follow-ups to this story.

Yo: So what do you say?

Everyone except Shadow: Oh, do we have to?

Shigeru takes out a SNES and Virtual Boy.

Shigeru: See these? Very few people go on the SNES, and people stay far far away from Virtual Boy here (A machine that shows only red and gives you blinding headaches after 10 minutes)

Yo: And look, an old Game Gear. Look at it. Been in the attic for a long time. So so dusty.

Shigeru and Yo: You want to end up like these?

Everyone else: Eek!

Yo: So get on okay?

Sheik: (Upset) Alright.

Shigeru and Yo: Good. Now we have to go. Playstation 2s are sold out and Gamecube is going to come out soon. Bye!

They both skip into the distance, holding hands. Cloud takes out a ball.

Cloud: Anybody up for catch?

Link: (Bored) Yeah, why not.

Cloud throws the ball in Link's direction. Link does a pathetic dive and doesn't catch it.

Link: You dick! You did that on purpose!

Cloud: Did not!

Link: Did so!!

Sheik: Just get the ball Link, (Like a 4 year old) or I'm telling on you.

Link: Fine.

Link runs off, out of sight to get the ball.

Link: (No one can see him) Catch Cloud!

Something is thrown and Cloud catches it with one-handed skill. He hears a hissing sound and looks to see what's in his hand.

Cloud: You %^&*!!!!

BOOOOOOMMM!!!!

Link: (Knowing damn well what just happened) Oops…

ThE eNd!!

I'll leave it up to you to decide what happens to Cloud, so don't accuse me of killing him!