(song by shinedown, called '45'. I do not own Dragonball Z and i never will)


Send away for a priceless gift
One not subtle, one not on the list
Send away for a perfect world
One not simply, so absurd

A thick blanket of snow was draped across the landscape, covering everything it touched. Christmas lights lit the dark places, turning the city into a giant ball of light. I was sitting by the window, staring out at the forest that surrounded Capsule Corp. Everyone was opening the presents that sat by the Christmas tree. But not me. The gift I wanted wasn't there. He never was...I suppose I should stop wishing for Grandpa Goku to return. Its pointless.

In these times of doing what you're told
You keep these feelings, no one knows
What ever happened to the young man's heart
Swallowed by pain, as he slowly fell apart

"Come on Pan!" Trunks tugged on my arm, pulling me from my seat, "You've got to open your presents!"

I smiled at him and let him pull me to the tree. I giggled at his childishness as he sat down and started to tear off the wrapping paper off his presents. Then I remembered my grandfather and the smile vanished. I went back to my thoughts, mulling over the memories I had with him.

"Penny for your thoughts?" My father asked, concerned. I just grinned at him, which seemed to erase the concern

"I'm just tired" I shrugged and he nodded. He turned back as mother squealed over a gift, leaving back to wonder into my wonderland, this time pulling my 'happy mask' over my face. I don't want to spoil anyone's Christmas.

And I'm staring down the barrel of a 45,
Swimming through the ashes of another life
No real reason to accept the way things have changed
Staring down the barrel of a 45

Evening fell over us and the night time celebrations began, and everyone was dressed in formal. Yes, I'm in a dress. I don't really care. Its good practice for next week, at my wedding. Oh, didn't I tell you? I'm getting married. To who? Trunks of course, the love of my life.

The guy I was talking to was boring me, going on about some "great business move" That could "change our future" I dared a peek at my fiancé, hoping the man wouldn't notice, and watched Trunks as he talked to Marron. Kami, I love him. His eyes, hair, his humor, his kindness, his...well, him! He's just so...perfect.

Send a message to the unborn child
Keep your eyes open for a while
In a box high up on the shelf, left for you, no one else
There's a piece of a puzzle known as life
Wrapped in guilt, sealed up tight

"You look gorgeous Pan" I looked around to see Goten standing next to me, grinning as always. I looked back to see the man was gone. Thank you Goten! I smile back at him and kissed him on the cheek

"You can thank your wife for that Goten. It is, after all, Bra's red dress. Of should I say was. She's getting so big now!" I replied, with a grin "Don't tell her I said that" I added as an afterthought. He threw his head back and laughed loudly. I couldn't help but giggle along with him.

"I wont" He chuckled "But Kami! I'm going to be a father!"

"I know. Weird, huh?" I smiled. I couldn't wait until my cousin was born. That child is going to be so beautiful. With Bra's and Goten's looks, their charms...

"And what is my fiancé talking about?" Trunk's arms snaked around my waist. I leaned back into his shoulder, smiling and looked up at Goten If I didn't know better, I say Goten was frowning...

I felt Trunk's lips nibble at my neck and I had to resist a moan...I closed my eyes enjoying the feeling it gave me without a sound.

"Excuse me" Goten muttered, walking away. I watch him retreat, feeling a bit guilty for driving him away.

"I better go and dance with some more people" He said, giving me a final kiss on the neck

"Why? Cant you stay here with me?" I asked, twirling around in his arms. He shook his head

"As the host, its my job to dance and mingle with the guests. Sorry honey" He said, unraveling his arms from around my waist and wandering off.

What every happened to the young man's heart

Swallowed by pain, as he slowly fell apart.

I watched the couples dance with one another, partially Trunks and his partner. Yes, he was dancing with someone else, Marron I think, but I didn't mind. Like he said before, he's just being polite, dancing and chatting with other guests. And I trust him. I watched him as he whispered into her ear. She giggled and kissed his cheek then walked away. I watched him walk towards me, a look on his face I couldn't place...

"Hey baby" He said, plopping down next to me "I'm not feeling very well, so I'm going to bed"

"Awww, poor baby" I cooed, feeling his forehead. He smiled, weakly at him, and my heart sank. Poor Trunks "You want me to come with you?"

He shook his head "I just want some peace and quiet, ifs that ok with you"

"Of course honey" I smiled, kissing him "I'll be up in an hour or 2 though, ok?"

"Alright babe" He got up, slowly, from his seat and disappeared into the crowd. Poor Trunks...

And I'm staring down the barrel of a 45,
Swimming through the ashes of another life
No real reason to accept the way things have changed
Staring down the barrel of a 45

I cant wait any longer, I tell myself. I cant enjoy myself if Trunks is up there suffering! No matter how much Goten or Bra want me to stay, I cant. I have to make sure Trunks is alright. He is, after all, my fiancé. I tell this to Goten and Bra but they still want me to stay.

"Please Pan" My uncle begged, holding onto my arm "Stay a while longer"

"Uncle, I'll only be gone for 5 minutes, 10 at the most" I replied, shaking his hand off my arm "I just want to make sure he's ok" He gave a twisted look, pulling me into a hug. Confused, I patted his back, then pulled away. I smiled, oddly, at him and walked up the stairs. I sighed, my heels tapping on the wooden floor boards. What was with him? I shook my head, dismissing the thought. I would ask him later.

I stopped outside Trunk's room, unsure if I should knock or not; Trunks didn't like it if I barged in without him knowing. Figuring he might be asleep, I decided against knocking and tip-toed in. The sight there was not one I was expecting to see nor wanted too...


And I'm staring down the barrel of a 45,
Swimming through the ashes of another life
No real reason to accept the way things have changed
Staring down the barrel of a 45

My mascara stained my cheeks, so it was obvious I was crying. Thankfully, the party was on the other side of the building, so no one was here. So I let the tears run, along with my make-up. For I did not care anymore. It was like my heart had been ripped out my chest and smashed to the floor only to be trod on by a million people.

I reached a shaking hand down into the draw, pulling out the item I was searching for. With it clutched tightly in both hands, I slowly, but quietly, approached Trunks room.


Everyone's pointing their fingers
Always condemning me
And nobody knows what I believe
I believe

I pushed the door open with such a force, I was afraid it would break. Trunks and Marron broke apart; Marron clutched the bed sheets to her chin, looking like a deer caught in a car's headlights. She almost guilty. Trunks was just surprised, shocked, when he looked at me. But I suspect it was forced. I glared at both of them, lifting the gun up to aim at Trunk's.

"Pan-" I didn't let him finish. The bullet was already implanted in his head and his blood was seeping into the bed covers. Marron screamed, jumping away from the lifeless body. I put the gun on her, shooting her in the head as well. I dropped the gun in my hand and fell to the floor, sobbing. What had I done?


And I'm staring down the barrel of a 45,
Swimming through the ashes of another life
No real reason to accept the way things have changed
Staring down the barrel of a 45

I watch the fire burn in the forest, eating away at the snow on the ground with an emotionless face. I watched it burn, burn brightly. Trunks was gone now...burned away with his whore Marron in the sheets they died in yesterday. I looked down at my hand, that wore my engagement ring. I thought he loved me...

The tears were threatening to fall again, but this time, I wouldn't let them. I was stronger than that and I refuse to cry over that bastard. I tore my ring and threw it into the fire in pure rage, watching it as it disappeared in the middle of the flame. I looked up at the sky, at the clouds over head and thought of him, wondering what he was doing. A snowflake landed delicately on my nose. It was snowing again...


End