-1Lost and Remembered
RLJP Fan Fiction
Harry Potter
ObsessiveDevil23
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. I am not making any money from this.
AN: Okay, This is a 'sequel' (XD) to 'Lost and Found', but this time it contains Slash of the RLJP variety. You might wanna read 'Lost and Found' first. ^^
Remus Lupin was lost. Well, no, Remus remembered being lost, but right now he knew he wasn't. Right now he was in the Gryffindor's 6th year boys dormitory. He was laying in bed, in the sweet bliss between awake and oblivion. He could faintly sense the boys he shared this room with moving around while he grabbled at the remaining parts of sleep.
He had been lost.
He'd been lost, in a supermarket. He remembered. He couldn't find his father, yet he remembered seeing an odd man with dreadlocks. And then there was James.
… James.
Remus' eyes snapped open, re-familiarising himself with where he was, and letting his eyes wonder, until they fell on the form of one James Potter.
James was stood in front of the mirror, playing with stands of his hair, trying to get them to lay right - which was a fruitless battle. The boy sighed in frustration and turned as Remus managed to find the energy to stand up. He clad in his boxer shorts and a baggy gray t-shirt - which was mainly to cover up the scars of his 'moonlit adventures'. James offered him a good morning smile.
"You're looking confused sleepyhead." he said teasingly. Remus shook his head, slipping the T-shirt over his head and replacing it with his school shirt.
"Not that. Just nostalgic." he replied. "Do you remember back when we were kids, and you found me in the supermarket?" he asked, buttoning the shirt. James bit his lip in concentration, trying to remember what his friend had described. Eventually he shook his head, and noticed that Sirius and Pete had sat down on their respective beds. Sirius spoke:
"I haven't heard this story Moony." he said, "I thought you and James met in first year."
Remus shook his head, feeling up to telling a story; especially if James didn't actually remember.
"James and I have known each other since we were really little." he explained, and James made himself comfortable. It was well known amongst the Marauders that Remus was an expert story teller, but James didn't remember what incident Remus was going to tell of, and he was slightly surprised that Sirius and Pete didn't already know he and Remus had know each other since they were almost new-borns. Their parents had been friends.
"Go on." said Pete, pulling his knees up to embrace them, and leaning against the wall. Remus rolled his eyes at the three pairs of eyes trained on him.
"I'll tell you about it once I'm changed. And I'd rather you weren't staring at me quite so intensely while I did that."
The three boys quickly averted their eyes while Remus changed his bottoms. Once he was fully dressed in his school uniform, he sat down on his bed to begin his story. The three pairs of eyes returned to him.
"When I was about five, I got lost in this huge supermarket which was near to the houses James and I grew up in. I got separated from my father, and was sat on a bench, sort of just waiting for him to come get me." he stopped and grinned at the memory. "Then James' dad came and found me."
While Remus told the story James was trying to remember what Remus was talking about. It was only a little later, when Remus was telling Sirius why he the five year old Remus hadn't been aloud a cherry lollipop that it clicked. He blushed furiously, finally remembering the incident in a lot of detail. He stood up in a fit of embarrassed rage.
"I thought I told you not to tell anyone about that!" he cried, his face resembling a tomato. Remus, who had been half way through explaining to Sirius that he'd eventually chosen chocolate, stopped and gave James a slightly wary, but mainly just surprised look.
"Come on James, we were five." he said, "Besides, it wasn't really a kiss." he added, making James blush more (if that was even possible).
"Wait! What?" asked Sirius excitedly. "You two kissed?!" he pressed.
"No!" protested James, shaking his head from side to side forcefully. Remus shrugged.
"Not directly." he grinned, slightly enjoying making James embarrassed for once. It was usually the other way around, since Remus was more susceptible to getting embarrassed. It surprised Remus that James was effected so much by something that happened so long ago. The messy haired chaser glared at him.
"We didn't kiss at all." he stated. His voice wavered only slightly, which gave away how uncomfortable he was. Remus shrugged in a non-committal way.
"Believe what you will." he teased. James glared, and Sirius and Peter were cracking up. Peters a fond chuckle and Sirius' a barking laugh. James glanced at them. For once in his life, he was acting shy.
"I can't believe you two…" Sirius trailed off, bringing a pillow to his mouth to try and stop his giggles.
James kept his eyes trained on the floor; embarrassed, upset, and angry. He'd told Remus not to tell anyone, he remembered! He knew they were only five at the time, but he couldn't help but feel betrayed. Of course, it didn't help that… he shook his head forcefully, willing his thoughts away, now was not the time to think about that.
"Hey Remy. Next time, don't get lost 'kay?"
"Kay"
"And don't go telling anyone I kissed you. 'Cuz I didn't."
"Why would I wanna?"
James sighed. At the time he'd been five. Kissing Remus had seemed like the most disgusting thing on the planet… yet nowadays, at sweet sixteen, he was loathe to agree with his younger self. The fact of the matter was, that James had grown up to be a giant great gay, and looking back, he was quite ready to go ahead and blame everything on Remus.
Remus had been his 'first kiss' as it were, and now he had a huge crush on the boy.
Great, thanks for screwing over my life mate.
What sucked even more was that back then Remus had said 'why would I wanna?' as in, why would he want to tell anyone that James had dared to kiss him, and well… James was fairly certain he'd get the same response if he tried again now.
"Aww James, I can just imagine a little five year old you acting all sweet and kissing Remy." Sirius giggled, falling back on his bed in more fits of laughter at the (admittedly very sweet) image. James glared, and picked his own pillow up, throwing at his so called 'friend'. He wasn't entirely sure why he was so angry, but he wasn't going to fight with his feelings right now. He was uneasy and annoyed, and damn Sirius and his damn teasing, and damn Remus and his damn story telling and damn Pete and his damn laughing and damn damn for being such a damnable word! At this point, James stormed out of the room, rumbling off an excuse of 'being hungry and wanting breakfast'.
All the laughing stopped in the room.
"He can't be that embarrassed, can he?" asked Pete, standing and sorting out his bed. Sirius, who was breathing heavily from all the laughing he'd been doing before, sat up and glanced at Remus.
"What really happened?" asked Sirius
"He licked the lolly." replied Remus. "I freaked out - I was five - and his dad started teasing him."
"Well that's nothing to get upset about." Sirius stated.
"I know." Remus sighed, then carried on. "I dunno… maybe because he was teased at the time he knew he'd get teased again… perhaps it's subconscious."
The marauders mulled over the notion for a little while, until Pete said;
"Bullshit."
The other two laughed their agreement.
"I think you should go after him." said Pete, looking directly at Remus.
"Why me?" questioned the werewolf. Pete shrugged, and glanced at Sirius, who was still kind of having trouble controlling his random bouts of giggles.
"He's certainly not up to it." he said, nodding in the dark haired teen's direction. "Besides, you're sort of the one who started this all." he reasoned. Remus sighed, knowing Pete was right, but equally not wanting to deal with an upset James. A pouty James was a very jumpable James after all.
His eyes widened and he blushed furiously, realising what he'd just thought.
"Err.. Um… R-right…" he stammered. "I-I'll be going then." and with that, he left the room after James, suddenly understanding the need to take yourself out the situation when highly embarrassed. Really, he had not just thought of James as 'jumpable'. That was ridiculous. James was his friend, not his… really Remus, not your what? Where was that sentence leading to, hmmm? Boyfriend? Lover? Fuck-buddy?
Remus growled at himself. James certainly wasn't anything as meaningless as a fuck-buddy. James meant more to him then that… because he was his friend.
"James!" he exclaimed, after bumping (literally) into the boy. James was still blushing brightly, but managed to conjure up a rosy glare.
"W-what?" he asked, trying not to break eye-contact despite his unease. Remus also found himself an interesting shade of pink.
"I… Um… Sorry." he apologised, looking away from James' unwavering stare. James looked at the wall over his friends shoulder now.
"I don't… That's not…" James sighed. "Fuck, Remus I…" He blushed, looking away, and he felt Remus tug slightly on his hand, leading him further down into the common room, which was almost deserted. Most people were already at breakfast, or still in their rooms.
"You what James?" Remus asked, finally finding his Gryffindor courage and looking James straight in the eye. They stayed quiet for a moment, looking at each other with a dusting of pink staining their cheeks. Until James' eyes slowly glazed over, and Remus realised that they were still holding hands. "James?" Remus repeated, softly this time, trying to gently break James out of wherever he'd been in his mind. His friend jolted very slightly, his eyes focusing again, and he averted his gaze. Remus unlocked their hands, suddenly feeling rather awkward himself.
"I… I'm sorry." said James, who was certain that Remus had to be able to hear his heart beating so fast and hard. It felt like it was going to burst right through his chest. He'd never come that close to confessing before. And all because of a memory of when they were five. Remus looked at him quizzically, and he knew that he'd now have to explain himself. How had this all come about so fast? Why did Remus have to go and remember anyway? He bit his lip, looking up at his werewolf friend through his lashes. "I'm sorry I got angry." he said, congratulating himself on keeping his voice steady. Remus, however, seemed not to want to accept his apology.
"What's really upsetting you James?" he asked, sitting down on one of Gryffindor's comfy sofa's, and forcing James to sit next to him with a yank on the smaller boys sleeve. James sat on the edge of the seat, his eyes darting around the room nervously. "You can't be so upset over this. What's on your mind? I'm here to listen James. I'm your friend."
James pouted, ever so slightly, annoyed at the use of the word friends, when he wanted to be so much more then friends. And Remus tried to ignore the niggling sensation in the pit of his stomach that was telling him to lean over and kiss that pout right off of his James' lips. James kept his eyes trained on his lap, upset at his own immaturity.
"Remus… I…" he choked slightly, fighting to keep control of his voice. It was now or never, he told himself. He could do this. He was a Gryffindor after all. "I… I don't want to be… friends anymore." he forced out, blushing crimson and scared when he didn't receive an instant answer to his statement. He felt the ticking of his own internal clock, as the seconds passed by and there was no answer from the sandy-haired boy beside him. Eventually, unable to keep patience, he turned his chocolate eyes to the other male. He found himself face to face with a very crestfallen looking Remus.
"What? Why?" The boy demanded; depression replaced with anger. He glared slightly at James which made the Quidditch player flinch away. James stood and looked down at his 'friend' with teary eyes.
"Sorry." he whispered, quickly exiting the situation via the portrait hole.
- X -
The next time Remus saw James it was way after curfew, and he was in the Astronomy Tower, laying on his back and staring blankly at the twinkling stars. What Remus couldn't see was that he was actually staring at the moon, which was reaching its way towards full. Remus wasn't even sure why he'd followed James on the map, why he'd made his way up the tower, when James had made it very clear that he didn't want Remus around any more. He stood in the doorway, admiring the way the moonlight enhanced James' features, and desperately trying to deny these new found feelings for him, especially since James most obviously didn't return them.
"I know you're there." James eventually said, turning on his side away from Remus, as if he was sulking. Remus gulped, stepping forward into the room, and glancing up at the non-existent ceiling. The stars were bright… hadn't Professor Waxis said something about Star's being bright meaning to realisation of true love?
Bullshit Remus, don't go believing things Waxis tells you in divination. It's one of the most unreliable forms of magic. McGonagall's always saying so.
Remus walked further into the room, stopping before James and looking down at him with sad eyes. He sighed heavily when James made no move to turn and look at him. He sat down beside the chaser.
"Just tell me why James." he said resignedly, "I always knew one day it'd come to this… but you always denied it, always said it wasn't true…" he brought his knees up to his chest and embraced them, uncomfortable in the silence James was giving him, until eventually the messy haired boy slowly turned to face his werewolf friend.
"What the hell are you on about?" he asked, giving Remus a 'what the hell mate?' look, despite the pink staining his cheeks. Remus gave him exactly the same look in return. Blush and all.
"Well… I get it, that you don't wanna be friends." he said, and was about to go on when James laughed. laughed of all things.
"Remus you giant great prat!" he scolded kind-heartedly, not even bothering to notice the expression of utter disbelief on his friends face. He was away, ranting and not even knowing what he was about to say, "I didn't mean I don't wanna be friends with you. I like you idiot. That's the whole point of these bloody dramatics, I like you! I like you too much! I don't wanna be friends because I wanna be so much more then friends! I freaking love you!"
James gasped and slapped his hands over his mouth. He hadn't even realised what he was saying and then it had all come tumbling out. Realisation dawned on him that he'd just confessed, and it hadn't been attractive or romantic at all, like he'd imagined in his dreams. In fact, instead of Remus sweeping him into his arms and saying 'oh don't you worry, I'll take care of you', the two slipping off to have hot passionate sex, as would happen in James' dream, Remus seemed rather at a loss for words.
Instead of blushing a crimson red, James went a deathly white, scared shitless of what Remus would do to him, alone in the Astronomy Tower. He'd just confessed his love to a super strong werewolf, who wasn't reacting. Was Remus angry, would he beat him up?
The boy in question, on the other hand, was thinking of many other things he could do to James alone in the Astronomy Tower. He stared at James, who was ghostly white in the moonlight. This only served to illuminate his sweet chocolate eyes, and make his lips seem much more red and alluring then usual. It was all Remus could do not to jump the boy and claim those lips as his own.
"James." he eventually whispered, and found that there was nothing else to say. James was there, alone in the Astronomy Tower (where no-one was likely to come for a fair amount of time)… with him. The boy had just confessed that he loved him, despite how difficult that was for Remus to believe, so really, what has he doing just sitting there? He leant forward with confidence and courage, and crashed his lips to James. James gasped involuntarily and Remus slipped his tongue inside, instantly dominating.
It was awhile before they broke apart, blushing and gasping for breath. James smiled happily at his new… what Boyfriend? resting his forehead against Remus' chest. Remus gave the top of his head an affectionate kiss.
"What are we now?" James voiced his thoughts, "Boyfriends?"
Remus was quite for a moment, pondering how earlier that day he had questioned exactly what he had thought of James, and boyfriend had been one of his options. He stayed quiet too long for James' impatient and worried thoughts. The messy-haired boy clutched lightly at the material of Remus' school shirt, which he had yet to change, and looked up.
"This didn't mean anything to you, did it?" he accused, eyes shinning brightly in the moonlight and making it seem like he was about to cry. Remus rolled his eyes with a kind smile.
"Stop worrying all the time." he commanded, "Why would I do something if it didn't mean anything?" he asked.
"Because you're too nice not to." was James' reply. Remus smiled a toothy smile. James pouted, feeling like he was being made fun of in Remus' mind
"James." he said. "You really shouldn't pout."
"Why not?" asked James childishly, continuing his pout and making it more pronounced. Remus' smile turned into a predatory grin.
"Because a pouty James is a jumpable James." James snorted in amusement and Remus wrapped his arms protectively around the Quidditch players waist. He leant forward so he could whisper into James ear. "So how about it James, wanna lick my lolly?"
God, this Fic is so odd and strange and I don't really like some parts of it, but love other parts of it. XD In any case, I hope you enjoyed it. Please review! ^^
