One dark, gloomy night, Harry Potter is sitting in his living room

One dark, gloomy night, Harry Potter is sitting in his living room. Ginny is working late, and the kids are at Hogwarts. Harry is incredibly bored, and in his boredom decides to conjure up a computer, a strange, obscure Muggle contraption. He fiddles with the computer, and somehow navigates to a white page with a small rectangle in the centre. There is a large logo, saying "Google" above the rectangle. He clicks on the rectangle, and realises he can type stuff in it (he has figured out how to type by now). Harry types in his own name, and then wonders what the funny little "I'm feeling lucky" button does. He clicks it, and then clicks "Search". It takes him to a page that says in bold letters: "Harry Potter Fan Fiction". He is puzzled, and randomly clicks something. He is taken to another page with a large block of text. He starts reading.

15 minutes later...

Harry realises that the writing is about him, having a relationship with Draco Malfoy (of all people). He is filled with disgust and an explosive rage, and proceeds to murder the entire Muggle population for writing such nonsense about him. He is then sent to Azkaban, and is forced to eat rice pudding for the rest of his life.

THE END