Because I'll Die if You Do

Author: shutupandsing

Rating: K+

Comments: I had a sudden urge to write an early Nagato and Konan fic after reading the latest manga chapters. Very light shipping between the two.

Mood Song: Toy Soldiers - Eminem

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto in any fashion or form.


"How does it feel for you?"

Konan's voice carried through the rain, reaching Nagato's ears despite the tiny rivulets of water that flowed over his face, blanketing him from the harsh reality they lived in.

"How does what feel?" he mumbled back, settling his weight further into the mud, wishing almost that the ground beneath him would swallow him into the blackest hole.

Konan sank down in front of him, blocking what little light on his face that was able to filter out from the dark, murderous clouds high above them. She cautiously reached forward, drawing a pattern into the mud between them.

"How does losing your parents feel for you? Does it still hurt? I've forgotten what my parents looked like even. Do you think that makes me a bad person, Nagato? I think it's awfully terrible for a child to forget what their parents looked like...sounded like."

"How would I know?" The flippant reply came out of his mouth before he could think it over. Konan looked down-trodden, an emotion that seemed fitting for their current setting. Here they were, war orphans, a few yards from their make-shift home, sitting and moping in the pouring rain. How pathetic.

Nagato sniffed, feeling the chill in his bones and ignoring it altogether. He needed to learn pain. Through pain alone it would be possible to come together again, and he would be on the top of the world; the God of it all.

"It still hurts," he admitted quietly, thankful for the thick black hair that hung over his eyes. Konan was the most perceptive person he had ever met and she could spot indecision in an instant.

She hummed in her throat, reaching forward and taking his hand in hers. Compared to the cold rain that washed over them, her palm was warm with the life-blood that ran through the veins beneath her skin. Nagato imagined she was feeling his dead, cold hand in hers and grimacing inside but because she was polite and respectful, not showing it outwardly.

Nagato couldn't remember a time he had last felt alive; realistically, he knew it hadn't been that long ago. His parents had only died just a little over a year back and those living moments he had with his parents were still semi-fresh in his mind.

He felt a weight in his lap and was surprised to see Konan had spun around to where her back was facing him and was laid full out now, resting her head in his lap. Her face faced the sky, pelted by the raindrops that leaked out of the heavens. Her dark eyelashes stuck to her cheekbones and Nagato felt something soften inside him. A tickling feeling run around the rims of his eyes and he suddenly realized he was crying.

Embarrassment washed over him as he quickly raised his hand and tried to wipe the offending tears away before Konan shot her hand up and grasped his wrists.

"Don't," she murmured softly, bring his hands down to rest over her heart. "You need to let it go."

Combined with her soft words and the steady thump of her heartbeat in her chest, Nagato felt the tears gather in his eyes and slip down his cheeks. A choking sob rose in his throat and no matter how hard he tried holding it in, it escaped into the air; harsh and animal-like he sobbed into the pouring rain, holding onto Konan's hands like she was life-support in the sea.

They were just children; life shouldn't have been this unfair and cruel to them. They were all at the time of their lives when they needed their parents the most and it angered Nagato that selfish individuals in far-away countries felt the need to prove themselves by taking innocent lives. And leaving behind lives that were once but now no longer innocent.

He started hiccupping through his sobs and below him, Konan began to giggle loudly. Nagato abruptly stopped crying; watching with a bewildered expression as Konan laughed and carried on, arms held up towards the sky. Drops of water slipped down her face and Nagato couldn't tell where the rain ended and his teardrops began.

He leaned his head forward, resting it in Konan's outstretched hands. He felt her pull him to the ground and before he could comprehend what was happening, a soft pressure was placed against his mouth. Feather-soft and damp from the rain, Konan's lips lingered on his for a moment before leaving with an audible smack.

Nagato's head shot back once released and Konan blinked open her eyes, a lazy smile across her face.

"You know, Nagato," she said, resting his hands back over her heart, "I think we'll all be okay. Yahiko's got a plan and I'm not one hundred percent sure that it's going to work but it's worth trying, because we really have nothing to lose."

Nagato freed a hand and brushed his thick bangs out of his face, revealing his inky irises to the beautiful young girl below him. "Don't say that, I have everything to lose. You and Yahiko are all I've got. You two are so special to me that I'd give an arm for you."

Konan smiled. "An arm, really?"

Nagato felt an emotion on his face and he realized it was a smile crossing over his features. Leaning forward, he rested his forehead against hers.

"My life, even. You'll see, things will work out and we'll live with all the things we were ever deprived on. Evil will know of us and fear us; we'll be gods."

And there underneath the pouring rain, two war-orphans with pasts they couldn't even begin to change, felt a shimmer of hope settle over them; a warmth that flowed through their bodies and dispelled the cold that had long since taken up inhabitance.

They were going to win. It's all they had left to work for.