Author's Note: A tribute to the first ever roleplaying game I played with Kyle and Ari. Merry X-mas Kyle.

…..

The sun was just rising over the edge of the valley as a figure made their way down the road to the Beetly House. Mr. and Mrs Beetly had been watching the stranger stone-faced for a good fifteen minutes as they made their way toward Burgham and they didn't like what they saw. The stranger wore a white suit with a bright salmon bowtie. They twirled a cane as they walked and occasionally tossed what looked to be a straw hat up in the air. The Beetlys watched and clucked with disapproval.

"Just ain't right."

"Salmon's meant to be a muted color."

The ground was cool and wet from the morning dew rather than cold and wet from yesterday's rain. Grateful to be walking in nicer weather, the stranger was whistling a jaunty tune which turned into song as they drew close.

"Oh I am a singing Jetco sales-send and I can take you on the ride of your lives. Allow me to open up a world of pure imagination and fabulous deals tenfold!"

The stranger bounced to a halt and bowed deeply. Up close the Beetlys could see they were easily half as tall as Mr. Beetly, who was himself already not the tallest of men.

"Greetings to you gentle townsfolk," the stranger began. "I am B and I offer you the magical gift of Sales Through Song, a Jetco proprietary-"

"Pass," Mrs. Beetly said quietly.

"Wha-what? Do my ears deceive me? Could it be that there are those out there who have not heard of the wondrous catalogues of Jetco? Fear not, good folk, for I-"

"Nah, we just don't want what you're selling."

"I, uh, would be more than happy, um, to show you a sample of our wares?"

B's nervous smile hung for several tense seconds while the Beetlys exchanged an inscrutable look. Eventually they seemed to reach an accord, and Mrs Beetly faced him again.

"You might as well come inside."

B sighed and some measure of the showman-like confidence returned to them.

"Lead the way, my gracious hosts, and allow me to reveal Jetco's mercantile wonders!"

The couple rose from their porch chairs and stepped inside the house, leaving the door open wide. B skipped up the steps and, tucking their hat under their arm, slipped inside.

The front parlor of the house was poorly lit and dusty, as though it hadn't been heavily used in years. There was no furniture of any kind, only a staircase leading up and a hallway that led further into the house. The walls were almost completely covered in pictures of different people, and sweet-smelling herbs hung from the ceiling in clumps.

No sooner had they entered than the door slammed shut behind them. B jumped forward and then chuckled nervously. "Must have been the wind, huh?"

"Something like that," Mrs Beetly replied without turning as she disappeared down the hallway.

B followed, lightly wringing their hat in their hands, and saw even stranger decorations in the hall. Along the floor by every wall was a row of potted plants that each consisted of one long stalk topped by a flower. The flowers all had an uncanny resemblance to sleeping human faces. As B tried to get a closer look at one of them there was a BANG from inside the wall behind it. The crashing continued for a few seconds and was followed by a scraping as though an animal was moving within.

"Don't mind him none," Mrs Beetly called back. "That's just Chitters."

"Ahaha, right," B laughed as though that explained it. "Chitters." They received no answer and began to sweat despite the chill.

They followed Mrs Beetly into a room that seemed like a kitchen, but instead of a table or any clear work space there was just a three-foot diameter pit in the center of the floor. It also dawned on them that they were alone with her.

"Ha-hey, where did the good Mr. go?"

"Oh he's around. I'd rather you tell me what that catalog of yours can do."

"Oh well, Jetco can provide any manner of robot for your industrial and housekeeping needs. Cooking and cleaning are a thing of the past with our new-"

"That don't interest me," she interrupted. "Not when the Cauldron does that sort of thing for us."

"The, uh, cauldron?"

She nodded and gestured to the pit which began to glow with multi-colored light. Before B could move it seemed to overflow with translucent, boiling fluid and from the vapors a shape began to take form. A single blood-shot eye appeared from the steam along with a lopsided gash that suggested rather than showed a mouth. B cowered and fell to their knees as the creature focused on them with wicked intent.

"Please don't kill me! I don't get paid if I don't come back with commissions! This demeaning act can't all have been for nothing please, please pleaaaase!"

"Kill you? Nah, we were just wondering if you could be useful."

B straightened their back, breathed in deeply, and folded their hands.

"Have you ever heard of robotic demon upgrades?"

The creature chuckled.