A/N Hi there!! So,...not sure how long this is actually going to be, but this idea was just demanding to be written. The song for the title belongs to Rufus Wainwright, (Wainright?), and Matt and Mello belong to...not me. Anyway, criticisms, comments, ideas on where to go from here, all are welcome and encourage me to write more, faster :) Oh, and I actually don't like OC's...but I wanted a third party POV, and none of the other Death Note characters wanted to be personal shoppers :P But from now on, the PV will probably be either Matt or Mello.

Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk

Lena had to wonder why anyone would hire a personal shopper exclusively to buy two types of goods. Sure, in her line of work she'd encountered some pretty strange requests. Previous employers had ranged everywhere from little old ladies who sent her out to buy cat food to one very strange businessman that had her buy condoms. Most people hired a personal shopper because they were either too busy, too old, or too embarrassed to shop for themselves.

But this job…well, it had to be the strangest one she'd ever had. Lena had to admit, she was really hoping that the customer would be home when she dropped off the goods, so she could get a look at the person who had hired her to buy 5 cartons of cheap cigarettes and 10 gallons of chocolate milk. Lena simply could not understand why the person, they'd sounded like a young man on the phone, could or would not buy this stuff themselves.

They hadn't sounded like a senior citizen, although there was the possibility that they were some other type of invalid. But then why the cigarettes? Surely someone who could not leave their apartment shouldn't be smoking. She decided that they must either be self-conscious of their admittedly strange grocery list, or too busy to lug all that chocolate milk back from the store.

Well, Lena couldn't say that she really cared; at least this job was a tiny bit more interesting than the usual grocery list. She heaved her shopping cart over to the checkout aisle, ignoring the questioning look the acne-prone teen behind the counter gave her, instead asking him to get her 5 cartons of Camel cigarettes. After she'd paid, making sure to stuff the receipt somewhere safe for later reference, Lena hauled the goods out to her Toyota Prius; being a personal shopper paid pretty well, and this cut down on how much she spent on gas driving to and from clients' homes.

Lena swerved expertly through the sunset-lit streets of L.A., taking routes made familiar by her constant state of movement. It took less than 10 minutes to get to the apartment of the cigarettes-and-chocolate-milk guy, which seemed to confirm Lena's suspicion that the reason he'd hired her was because he was embarrassed, since anyone could spare the time it would take to go to the grocery store from this location. She pulled into a parking spot and plunked a dime in the meter; this shouldn't take too long. With a grunt, Lena heaved all that damned chocolate milk over to the door of the complex, buzzing up to apartment 134. "Hey, this is Lena, your personal shopper. I'm here with your groceries".

There was a second of silence, and then the speaker crackled, and a smooth voice said "Stay right there, I'll be down in a second." Lena tapped her foot; her curiosity was peaking again, she was eager to see what this guy looked like, half hoping that he'd be either really strange or insanely attractive. Lena wasn't disappointed on either count.

The young man who opened the door was undeniably good-looking, although he erred more on the side of pretty and delicate than rugged and handsome. And his outfit was enough to confirm that he was strange. What kind of guy wore glistening black leather like a second-skin? And a wicked, albeit sexy, scar marring half his face and trailing down into his top suggested anything but an ordinary person. Not that Lena had expected something less. Seriously, when someone's entire shopping list for a week consisted of cancer sticks and liquid chocolate, there was barely an ice cube's chance in hell they'd be normal.

"That'll be $400." Hey, Lena never said these services came cheap. The young man, her employer, extracted a leather (what else?) wallet from somewhere, and handed over four hundred dollar bills. Lena immediately pegged him as a high-roller. She turned on her charm, face lighting up with her signature mega-watt smile. If at all possible, she'd like to keep working for this guy. He was interesting, without being too creepy, and he was rich, so he might be able to provide a steady work load. Plus, her womanly side was just begging to find out what was (barely) hidden in those pants.

Unfortunately, the blond-haired, blue-eyed beauty seemed immune to Lena's charms. She even busted out the big guns, pushing her ample chest forward and batting her eyes. Huh. Still nothing. Either this guy was the best actor Lena had ever had the pleasure of meeting, or he was not interested in women. Which, frankly, considering his apparel, wouldn't be completely unexpected. Her suspicions were confirmed when he called up the stairs, "Hey, Matt! Come carry your cigarettes, will you?", and another young man clattered down the stairs to join Lena and leather guy on the landing. Matt, as blondie had called him, was less striking than his flatmate, but nonetheless appealing. He had a nice physique, and his red hair, accented by a pair of orange goggles, looked soft and touchable.

"Mello, remind me why we need to hire someone to buy our groceries?" Aha! So leather-boy's name is Mello, Lena thought. A fittingly eccentric name for an eccentric man. Lena watched as Mello fixed his red-haired friend with an absolutely dazzling smile. "Because, Matt, we have more important things to do." At this point, Lena just couldn't keep quiet any longer. "So, you two are a couple? I think that's great. I mean, it's really brave of you, being true to yourself and all that…" Lena trailed off as she took in the two horrified starts she was being fixed with. Oh. So not a couple then. But, if the broad blushes spreading across both of their cheeks could be trusted, there was some serious denial going on here.

Time for a hasty exit, Lena decided. "Well, uh, anyway, here's the receipt for you to look over, and it's been great working for you. Don't hesitate to call me up again if you need to get some more shopping done". And with that, she beat it across the street to the safety of her Prius. She'd likely never see those two again, but at least she had some good fodder for her daydreams.

Thanks for reading!! Keep watching for the next installment. :)