This is a Matrix drabble. It is not meant to go anywhere, just a little angst while I work
on my full-length work "State of Mind". This is my first-ever post on here, please be kind.......
Whenever I think of him, it's always his eyes I see first. At times a deep mysterious gray, other
times lightened in his joy, they speak volumes about the man within, even when he himself is
unable to. I needn't concentrate very hard before the rest of him comes to mind, always looking
for an angle trying to figure out how best to stay one step ahead of the rest of us, his peers. If
only he knew that there is some one on this desolate-seeming place that cares for him as I do and
only wait for the faintest word, slightest touch to let me in. For that is all I want from him ; the
chance to make myself heard to let him know that he is not alone. To let me love him as I realize
I now do. I try not to be hurt as I notice him watching Trinity. She will never love him anyway,
so why should I give it a second thought? Because as lonely as I'm positive he is, I will never be
invited to the dance. He will continue to needle her and piss her off, she in turn will maintain the
icy disgust that makes up exactly one-half of her two emotions, and so it will go. I know he
imagines her knocking on his door some night after her watch, gaining admittance and letting
him have his way with her. I know that unlike some of the women he bedded in the Matrix, this
would be special, something to be savored. I laugh at the complete unfairness of it all, and
decide that a nice long run in the dojo program will help release my frustration. I wonder if
Mouse still has that avatar for Cypher? Perhaps he'll let me borrow it for a while.......
on my full-length work "State of Mind". This is my first-ever post on here, please be kind.......
Whenever I think of him, it's always his eyes I see first. At times a deep mysterious gray, other
times lightened in his joy, they speak volumes about the man within, even when he himself is
unable to. I needn't concentrate very hard before the rest of him comes to mind, always looking
for an angle trying to figure out how best to stay one step ahead of the rest of us, his peers. If
only he knew that there is some one on this desolate-seeming place that cares for him as I do and
only wait for the faintest word, slightest touch to let me in. For that is all I want from him ; the
chance to make myself heard to let him know that he is not alone. To let me love him as I realize
I now do. I try not to be hurt as I notice him watching Trinity. She will never love him anyway,
so why should I give it a second thought? Because as lonely as I'm positive he is, I will never be
invited to the dance. He will continue to needle her and piss her off, she in turn will maintain the
icy disgust that makes up exactly one-half of her two emotions, and so it will go. I know he
imagines her knocking on his door some night after her watch, gaining admittance and letting
him have his way with her. I know that unlike some of the women he bedded in the Matrix, this
would be special, something to be savored. I laugh at the complete unfairness of it all, and
decide that a nice long run in the dojo program will help release my frustration. I wonder if
Mouse still has that avatar for Cypher? Perhaps he'll let me borrow it for a while.......
