A/N: The trope of Ralphie and Phoebe as stepsiblings is from several fics I've read, and as such is very, very not-mine. Ditto Ralphie as a football player.

Sort of inspired by the Heather Small/Tom Jones song.


Ralphie slammed the door, making the nearby table rattle. He slumped against the door frame to catch his breath and let his eyelids close: it had been a long day of classes — and football practice had seemed just as long. He lazily reopened his eyes, and his gaze fell on Phoebe snoozing on the couch.

He grinned mischievously and carried himself to her in two giant steps, then poked her shoulder. Her eyes fluttered open, and she grimaced slightly. "I was having such a nice dream," she murmured.

"Oh. Sorry," Ralphie replied, only somewhat abashed. "But something exciting happened today!"

Phoebe smiled. "Did Keesha propose or something?" she teased. Ralphie moved to sit next to her, prompting her to hug her legs to her torso in an effort to give him room.

"Nah," he replied as he thudded onto the cushion. "But she said I was ... what was it? ... 'boy-pretty'!" He found himself smiling widely, but he didn't feel a need to suppress it as he usually did. He knew Phoebe would understand.

"Aw," Phoebe cooed. "It doesn't really mean anything, you know."

"Yeah."

"Well, not anything romantic, I mean," she clarified. "No more than when Arnold tells me I'm the nicest girl he knows..." She trailed off as she felt a smile come over her own face, and her cheeks warm as she flushed with pleasure.

"Face it, Pheebs," Ralphie said with a sigh. "We're hopeless."

"Yeah." Phoebe giggled. "I guess there's a reason why we're siblings."

"Because our parents got married," Ralphie said bluntly.

Phoebe chuckled. "Well, yes. But I meant because we're so similar sometimes." She beamed at him. "I feel about Arnold like you feel about Keesha. It's nice to have someone to talk to."

"I guess we do act the same sometimes," Ralphie agreed.

Phoebe lowered her feet to the floor so she could press against his side. "You know, Ralphie, you understand me really well. And I guess somewhere along the line, you became my best friend."

Ralphie looked at her, his eyes wide with surprise. "Really?" he asked.

"Mm-hmm."

He smiled gently as he put an arm around her shoulders. "Thanks, Pheebs. You're a pretty cool stepsister, you know that?" He paused. "I really do love you," he added quietly.

"I love you too," she replied. "Even though you did wake me up."