Disclaimer: I don't own these people but eh I like to think that Saitou isn't a cold man to Yaso, so I implied Akama's theory. LOL. And no I've not lost my head. I know exactly what this story is about. It'll interest you to know at first when I thought this story up, I wanted to give Yaso a personality of being strong and letting go. But the one in this story suddenly decided to be strong and fight. I let her because I think that was actually better than the original characterization. Read with an open mind. And if this isn't to your liking please move on.

Fujita Goro - yep Saitou Hajime
Shinoda Yaso - Saitou's first wife
Takagi Tokio - Saitou's second wife
Matsumoto Sensei - A doctor related to the Shinsengumi
Shichiro Ueda - Person who took Yaso in the first time in Tonami, he also took Saitou and Yaso in when they separated from Kurasawa
Kurasawa Hiuejumon (sp?) - Tokio's adopted father, sponsored Saitou and Yaso's marriage, Saitou and Yaso lived with him right after they got married but separated from that house later

Song is "I Still Believe in Love" by Jaya


Tenement Houses

The letter came unexpectedly. It simply said, "See me by the tenement houses at sundown -signed Goro". Carefully she placed it back into her sleeve, taking care that no one noticed. Vaguely she wondered why after all this time he'd finally decide to see her after leaving her without a word the past year. Not that she needed to know right then, all her questions were eventually answered in time as she was taken back in by the Kurasawa's. There was only one more question left unanswered, why did he agree to it?

Restless, she excused herself from the kitchen. It was still a few hours till the sun set, the sky was still a brilliant blue. Leaving the estate she quickly found herself in a secluded part of the forest where she used to frequent to gather firewood and sell it to the local residents in Gono-he, Tonami. Sitting on a flat rock she took out the note and read it over again.

To see him at the tenement houses? There is no doubt, she thought to herself, he meant their old house where Ueda Shichiro used to live. The question was, should she even see him again? After waiting for so long for him to come back only to find out that he agreed to marry Kurasawa's daughter, she wasn't quite sure if she could even bring herself to see the man who promised a life with her. Looking up she saw the white clouds quickly being blown away and the sky turning slowly from blue to purple.

I'll be alright,
I will be fine
just have to give my broken heart enough time

She took a deep breath and removed the ties that bound her hair. The breeze had turned cool and she was thankful for that. Looking down on her calloused hands she smiled slightly, knowing they were testaments to her will to survive the harsh life in Tonami. She did well with him but also learned she could do well by herself. It was a never an easy life for them and when he disappeared, for a while she thought it was not possible to live, but she did. There was no way to change the past but at least perhaps she could move forward. There was still a part of her that made meeting with him unpleasant, but she wasn't the same broken woman who despaired on his marriage to Takagi Tokio. Those wounds healed over time, perhaps they may open up again after she see's his face. She did after all loved him and had she been given the chance, she would've fought to keep him.

Then I move on and love again and i'll give myself a new beginning

Standing up she took a step forward and kept walking down the path that led to the tenement houses. Her footsteps were slow but sure like a mountain goat. She couldn't help but smile as their old house came to view. That was the place where he'd visit her before Kurasawa figured out that they were a good match and offered to sponsor their marriage. It was the same place they spent their happiest time in, one year of utter bliss after he decided to part ways with Kurasawa and his adopted daughter Tokio. She knew of course why he chose not to move in when Kurasawa changed residences, but even if the rumors were indeed true, she trusted his judgment. If he was indeed a horrible man, he would've acted on such display already while he still had a chance and Tokio was near. Those days when they finally set out on their own, she saw less of him. Making a living in Gonohe was hard enough when he still worked for Kurosawa but now that Kurosawa was gone, so was their income. She despaired those times, being left at home feeling sick but he forbade her to go out always telling her about an old friend who died in Kyoto who pushed himself to hard. She often wondered who that was and why lately he changed his diet solely to buckwheat noodles when she knew he would've preferred fish instead. He would always bring a doctor though at the end of the month, a competent but kind old man who came from another village who eventually became her sole visitor.

Things will be better that I'll make sure
I'll never dwell on the pain i'm feeling
I promise myself that when love comes back
I will be ready
I will be free

Suddenly she stopped, her heart pounded as she saw him still quite a distance away. He was smoking a cigarette, something she had not seen him do before. His only real vice was drink but he had promised her he'd stop. She wondered if he kept that promise... Her chest suddenly felt tight.

Promises... Did they mean anything Goro?

It was so easy to turn her back. He was oblivious to her presence and it pained her. Why was it she came with resolve and yet those old wounds seems so fresh as if it was only yesterday? Willing herself to move forward, she knew only one thing... She owed it to herself, one final meeting.

I still believe in love though it's hurting me now
i know that we're gonna be friends again

"Goro." The name rolled out her lips so softly that mere words bit her tongue in return. She smiled as she crossed the distance which seemed utterly too far. He approached her with ease, she noticed, his eyes were still the same a wonderful shade of gold.

"I'm glad you came." He smiled and held out his hand. She took it, however she wondered if he saw how it still -burns- her. It still had the same effect, that excitement at the merest touch and the way he spoke. Had she not known any better, she would've convinced herself that this was the same man who married her in haste that one summer day.

He led as they walked through a small field. It was late in spring and the leaf blades swayed under their feet. There was a time they'd play a game of chase while no one was looking. He was always so mindful when others were around, not wishing to bare that softer side of himself. She missed those days.

He turned towards her upon reaching a momiji tree. "Ah... Remember this place?" She noticed him watching her surreptitiously.

"Yes. Isn't this the best spot? You can see anyone who is coming from this vantage point." She answered and stood beside him. There was more to that story but she decided it would no longer be appropriate.

Nodding he sat down and she followed. "I didn't realize how some things never changed." Glancing back at her, she saw a pained look in his eyes.

"Don't tell me you came all the way out here just for this Goro." She managed to tease, refusing to read into his words.

"That and to explain what happened more than a year ago. I made a mistake. It is not something I can explain in such a manner that..." He dragged on his cigarette and she noticed his hand tremble slightly.

"Then don't try to." Her words were probably no more than a whisper. She wondered if this was her chance to take back what was rightfully hers, but shoved the thought aside.

there will be changes i have to live with
i'll be alone but then life goes on...
I promise myself that when love comes back
I will be ready
I will be free

A long silence passed between them, neither of them moving, just looking on across the field towards the tenement houses. She finally bit her lip. He came back... She knew he would, perhaps out of guilt or perhaps he still had affection for her. But she knew it was simply too late for them.

"Just be happy Goro." She looked down, hugged her knees and swallowed her choking tears. She still loved him after all.

The smoke from his cigarette choked him as well. His puffs became harder and fuller until the cigarette was no more than a mere stub and he was forced to put it out in the dirt.

"Let me do this..." He finally spoke and pulled her into his arms. He wondered if she knew that if she'd ask, he would come back and deal with the consequences later.

I still believe in love though it's hurting me now
i know that we're gonna be friends again
i still believe in love and I wish to love again and again, and again, and again
love broke my soul and its gonna be love that would make me whole

"I'm sorry I was a horrible man, chasing after a dream and abandoned you in the process." He wouldn't look at her but his tight grip on her shoulder told Yaso this was not easy for him neither. There was a time she received kindness from him, protection and love, to believe in those things in the barren lands where they lived was probably the reason she wanted to spare him his guilt.

"You weren't. I already knew you were leaving that morning." She smiled sadly remembering that day in late spring. How hard it was not to cling to him, to just let him walk away. "You asked remember? That I should come to Tokyo... To your new assignment in the Police Bureau?" She smiled sadly, knowing the past year she deluded herself into thinking she was not given the chance. She needed that to live, to move on without hating herself as news came from Tokyo about his wedding, his new home, his new wife and a new son.

Pressing her harder against him, he noticed a loose strand of hair and wiped it away. Perhaps it was no longer his place to ask considering the choices he had made out of loneliness, something he could not find an answer to even after settling for someone else. The life in Tonami was harsh but he once found peace in a woman he had loved the very day he laid eyes on her. It was worth it to ask.

"Yaso... Is it really too late?"

It took her a while to answer. She had already decided to make a new start for herself before his letter came. She was ready to take a chance but not -this- chance that sprung up so suddenly. Was it a cruel twist of fate? Did she have enough faith in him and herself? She still believed so the answer came...

"I'm leaving the Kurasawa's tomorrow."

"Then I'll say it again... Come with me to Tokyo."

He stared at her quietly searching her face. She squeezed her arm and looked first at him, then back out to the tenement houses. Whether here or there, she only saw one thing that life she wanted to live. "I may not be very useful to you." She said softly not looking at him, "I may even be a burden."

"Don't say that. I never once thought of you that way." He looked at her seriously, it was something he always worried about back in the old days.

i still believe in love and I wish to love again and again, and again, and again
love broke my soul and its gonna be love that would make me whole

Smiling slightly she moved closer to him and gently rested her head on his shoulder, "I know and I'm not as sickly as I once were. Thanks to Matsumoto sensei." She wanted to tell him that she knew who was really behind everything from the costly medicines to the roof over her head. She could thank Ueda-san, Matsumoto-san and even Kurasawa-san but who was really behind all of the care she had received, in a barren land like Gonohe everything came at a price whether it be money or someone else's freedom. Standing up straight she looked at him, "I'll go. Anywhere you want... Even to Shanghai."

He smiled slightly, a real smile she thought, not the grin. He looked so weathered but for a moment she saw a glimpse of the young man she had known many years ago. She could only hope that he too saw the same person who was hopeful of his return. A man like him always took the long way home but they are both older now and hopefully wiser. And then it started to rain.

"Ah..." He pulled her into him and spread his jacket covering her head. "The sky is crying already." He chuckled and they ducked under the momiji tree.