Ok, so for my best friend, I have decided to write this beautiful and absolutely hilarious…actually I don't what this is! :D Jj, you know who you are and you know why this story is even alive. And so I hope you enjoy this as much as I did while writing it! Didn't I say I would add lawnmowers and duck-tape? Well I did! ;D So here ya go! And here goes my sanity along with the words! :P

Disclaimer: Do not own if I did…well just look below and you will see why…

WARNINGS: Odd parings, molestations, experiments, "small" implications of rape, madness, bad humor, creeper teachers, angry meisters, obsessive fathers, lawnmowers, maybe a spoiler, duck-tape, ménage à trois, slight hints of yuri (girlxgirl), Death, OOCness (sort of) and downright stupid occurrences for shits and giggles. This is not for the weak lung people (YOU MIGHT DIE OF LAUGHTER DUE TO SUFFOCATION!). *commercial voice* Not for the faint of heart. Batteries not included…xD

ENJOY MY LITTLE PLOT PUPPIES! ^-^

~SwampyGreenie


Something's Wrong

Soul knew he was in deeper shit than he bargained for. Yeah, it was a bet, but why him? And Of all people why the teacher? He regretted ever taking the gamble as he rang the doorbell of Dr. Stein's house.

He nervously ran a hand through his snow white hair as the door mechanically opened by itself and he took a cautious step back. Time slowed down. In slow motion, Soul felt the air rush past him and the sound of a rolling chair's wheels mauled his sensitive ears. A clank and a ring of metal split in the air just as Soul landed on his ass.

"Ow, ow, ow!" He whined as he ran a hand on his ass before looking up to see his teacher sitting in the fallen chair where it had "tripped" on the door step. Soul looked down at his own feet to see that he himself had tripped on a mouse and he groaned in pain as his ass sparked with agony.

Professor Stein looked upside-down at Soul. He had been working on his latest dissection; an African Prairie Dog, before he was interrupted by the doorbell.

"Yes what is it Soul?" He asked, irritated that he was not busy at his latest dissection.

Soul slowly looked up at the professor and then stood up slowly; a cute blush running across his face.

"I need help. Your help. It's a little personal, so can I come in?"

Stein regarded his student with an amused, raised eyebrow, before righting himself and pushing his chair back into the house. Soul stood at the open door unsure of what to do.

"Well, come in."

Stein's tone of voice wasn't exactly welcoming but it told Soul that if he didn't get his ass in the house, he would lose important body parts to science. Soul ran into the house after the professor; not wanting to miss body parts.

xXxXx

Meanwhile in Death's room, Spirit was bent over a grave marker with a moan. Lord Death had been consuming alcohol and things got a little carried away when Spirit offered to help Death sober up.

"Ah! Kami-sama!" Spirits face was flushed red and he moaned cutely every time Lord Death slammed into his tight ass. Death grunted as he quickened his thrusting rhythm.

So close. So fucking close. When he slapped Spirit's tone ass all hell broke loose. The Death room got dark then then blinding white light flashed as Death climaxed.

Spirit threw his head back onto Death's shoulder as he too climaxed. His red locks splayed against the black of Death's coat as he arched his back like a strung bow and screamed a name. This name was not Lord Death's; nor was it Maka's mother's.

As Death stopped his rabid fucking, a tick formed in his temple. He dare he call out the name of his first lover when he had Death to himself now.

"Spirit!" Death growled in his real voice. It was still laced with the lust that was only now just fading.

Realizing the name he had called, Spirit grew red and stammered for an explanation. Death was mad and in a split second, Spirit was on the ground with a rectangular relief in his head. Death had used the Reaper Chop.

"Death Scythe? Lord Death?" Maka called off a little way for she was only standing at the door to the room and could not see her father on the floor with his bare ass in the air and Death's cum seeping out of his swollen entrance. Swiftly, Death redressed Spirit and fixed his trademark coat.

"Yes Maka?" He called sweetly. "Please, come in. What is it you need?"

Maka walked down the long hallway and then stepped onto the platform, noticing her dad still on the floor. "What happened to him?" She asked amused.

"Oh! Nothing really~!" Death sang. "He was just being a little too spirited for my liking~!" Maka laughed at the play on words and then got serious.

"Soul's missing. I spotted a kishin soul in the area and I didn't have Soul there to help me fight it off. I can't find him anywhere." As she spoke, her mousy hair swung back in forth in its ponytails as she shook her head.

"Ah~ Well let's look for him then~!" Death said and then hopped over to his mirror. "Calling Soul Eater. Where is Soul Eater~?" He waited as his mirror lit up and then started to ring while in search of Soul.

When the image showed up Death only had one thing to say.

"Oh dear~!"

xXxXx

When Soul stepped into Professor Stein's living room, he started to regret his decision. This was all BlackStar's fault. If only he hadn't taken that stupid bet so seriously. If only his manly pride hadn't been so offended none of this would ever be happening.

"Well, Soul. Sit down." Professor Stein's voice snapped Soul back into reality and he awkwardly sat on the grey, stitched up couch. Professor Stein sat across Soul and leaned back in his rolling chair. "So… you wanted to talk?"

Soul couldn't believe that he was going to go through with the bet and blushed from embarrassment. He brought his legs together and pushed his hands into his lap.

"W-well-" He stuttered, averting his eyes. "I-I was wondering i-if you could help me with a pr-problem I have…" Professor Stein slowly rotated his screw, thinking about Soul's words.

"Soul." He said. "Let's go into my lab." Stein slowly reeled out of the room down a dark hall, and Soul clasped his clammy hands like a nervous girl as he followed behind him.

xXxXx

"But Lord Death! I wanna see what Soul is up to! He's my partner and he wasn't there when I needed him!" Maka tried to look past Death's shoulder into his mirror, but she could see nothing beyond the glare of the lights against the glass.

"I'm sorry Maka~! But this is not for your eyes to see!" Death said cheerfully, trying to hide his embarrassment of situation. However, no matter how hard he tried he could not hide the sweat bead that rolled down the back of his head.

Maka was not going to like this. Not one bit.

xXxXx

"Do you have any idea what you're willing to get into, Soul?" Stein asked seductively. Soul was laying ass naked on the lab table and Stein was running a hand through Soul's white hair.

"Please Dr., just help me!" He whined. Soul was cold and worse yet he hadn't even got halfway through the bet. Not only that, he started to recognize a problem that liked to start up between his legs (one that would not go away until he had paid it full attention). The very problem he had to play innocent with in order to win the bet.

He moaned cutely as Stein ran a hand down his chest and over his prominent erection.

"Doctor, please!" Soul gripped the front of Stein's shirt. He wanted to get this bet over with so that BlackStar would finally admit his feelings for Tsubaki, or if Soul even got close to losing, he would have to scream his deep hidden love for Maka over the rooftops of Death City. "I don't know what this feeling is!"

Soul regretted every dirty word that escaped his lips. He couldn't even remember how he had gotten into taking the bet in the first place. BlackStar would so pay for this later. By the end of the day, whether he lost or not, Soul would make BlackStar see stars that would go along nicely with a black eye. No pun intended.

A hand on his dick made him jump back into reality and he forced another moan out of his throat. Stein was bent over Soul's lower half with a small, oval like contraption in his hand. "Stein!" Soul force himself to say his teacher's first name. "What is this feeling?" He faked innocence.

"Well Soul," Stein said, completely absorbed in taking in every inch of skin on Soul's body. "This means you're finally becoming a man." Stein wrapped his long, skillful fingers around Soul's erection and mock fucked it with his hand.

Soul had to steal his pride to moan cutely again. "Mhm, oh~! Stein! That feel so good~!" His body was lavishing in the pleasure of Stein's hand against his skin, but his mind was silently screaming all his pride to die at the hands of his maker; Death.

Soul jumped when he felt a smooth tip touch the cute, pink, puckered hole of his ass. Trying not to scream his rejection, Soul pushed his ass against it and he felt the oval contraption slowly sink into the heat of his butt hole. He threw back his head and screamed a moan, and Stein, taking Soul's reaction as a good sign, leaned down over Soul's chest and pressed his lips to Soul's parted ones.

Stein had to steal his patience and he pushed his tongue into Soul's mouth. He stroked Soul's tongue with his and Soul released another cute moan from the back of his throat as Stein slipped his three fingers further into his ass, pushing the oval thing into his prostate and turning it on.

"Ah~!" Soul moaned into the kiss as the vibrator turned his insides to mush with every movement.

Stein broke the kiss to regard Soul. Damp clumps of his white hair stuck to his forehead and his cheeks were almost the color of his eyes; which were hazed over with lust. He was panting so sexily and looking so longingly, so promiscuously, so wantonly at Stein that the older man groaned as his cock pulsed with hot, beautiful blood.

xXxXx

Maka finally was able to push Lord Death aside; like a bulldozer and a pile of shit, and she sternly drunk in the sight of her weapon on the brink of sex with her teacher.

"Soul…" She hissed dangerously. So dangerously in fact that even Lord Death took a step back as another sweat bead formed on his head. He had noticed her ball up her fists.

"…YOU ARE SO DEAD WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU, YOU LITTLE BASTARD! YOU LITTLE SLUT! WHORING AROUND JUST BECAUSE I'M NOT PERFECT IN THE BREASTS!" Maka screamed at the top of her lungs as she ran out of the room and tore up the halls behind her. She ran into the garden shed and pounded around for her favorite tool before she took off into Death City, screaming curses at Soul the entire way.

"Oh dear~!" Death said and he glided over to Spirit on the floor. He bent down and patted Spirit's shoulder as a gesture to wake him up. "I think you better go save Stein before your daughter rips his face off with the lawnmower."


;D Jj! I hope you enjoyed your sneak preview! ;P Sorry your having to wait so long. This is taking forever.

To everyone else: Thank you for reading and I hope you don't have any flames for me because I will just send them on the way to the crazy people who need to keep warm in like 60 degree weather! Shout out to America my lovely cold friend! Stay warm!

Anyway, thank you again and the next chapter will be here in a week or maybe shorter if I'm in a good mood. :P