Jan. 7, 1537
It was late, but Mary couldn't sleep. She sat in a chair by the fire, a rosary in her hands, but her mind was somewhere else. It was cold outside with snow falling steadily. She would usually spend the night watching the fresh snow dance across the glass if it weren't for her contemplative thoughts. It was only a year ago her mother had died. It was a heart wrenching lost, especially when she took into consideration that she had been separated from Queen Katherine years before that. Yes, she had lost her mother years before, but lost every chance of seeing her again exactly one year ago, tonight.
Mary suddenly became aware of the rosary still wrapped around her fingers. Religion, that was the biggest part of Katherine left to Mary. Sure, she had a few of her mother's trinkets, including the rosary she was holding, but nothing was held closer to Mary's heart than her love of God and the Sacrament of the Mass, instilled in her by her mother. Then Mary remembered that she had signed the papers declaring her father, the king, was Head of the Church of England. It also stated that her parents were never married and therefore she was an illegitimate child. She had refused to sign for a while, just as her mother had. But then her mother died and her father ordered the execution of Anne Boleyn soon after. Mary did not like or respect Anne, but she could not deny that her father didn't love her a great deal. That is what horrified Mary. Her father killed someone he claimed to love without a second thought. That was the thought that scared her into signing the dreaded papers, and she had prayed for forgiveness every day since then. She prayed that God would forgive her for her fear and doubt and would give her strength to face similar situations with more strength should the occasion ever arise.
Finally, she felt drowsiness creeping over her. As she closed her eyes, her mind went to the same memory it had before she fell asleep for the past year. It was of the last time she had seen her mother. She was being sent back to Ludlow after the Christmas season. In her mother's apartments, she was saying her private goodbyes. Katherine knelt down to her level to hug her closely and remind her to mind her governess, study her lessons, and practice her music. Mary quietly said how she didn't want to leave. Katherine smiled sadly, sharing in her daughter's wishes, but said something Mary never forgot.
"Be strong my child, you are the daughter of kings. One day you will rule over this nation as its first queen."
As Mary drifted off, despite the cold weather and dying fire, she felt the warmth of her mother's touch in her heart. A small smile crept across her sleeping face and Mary knew somewhere her mother was watching over her.
